I was married to someone I adored.........he began being obsessed with porn and later found a girlfriend. I found an email from her to him a year before and he said she was just a friend but it was obvious from the contents of the email that they were much more than that. A year later I found evidence that the relationship was continuing. I left him............after 22 years of marriage he won't even speak to me or give me a reason why. He just led me to believe that he wasn't interested in my looks anymore.
2006-11-28 14:29:26 · 18 answers · asked by Callie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you keep busy you focus on the new life you are going to creat for yourself and do not dwell on the actions or mistakes of the past. If you left him, and I applaude you for it, why do you care if he speaks to you or not? You know the reasons. He was messing around and you refused to stand for it when he refused to end it. Now forget him and get on with life. Take a class, join a club do something that will get you out of the house and able to meet new people. Get a hobby or learn to do something you always wanted to do, If funds allow go to the one place you always wanted to see. Can't go now, plan the trip for someday soon and then work towards it. The point is stop being hurt by him and carrying around the pain of your loss. It is hard but if you work at loving your new life and fill it with things that interest and uplift you you will have no time for the past and a marriage that was over before you so wisely ended it. Good luck and God bless
2006-11-28 14:43:40 · answer #1 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!! I was with my ex for 24 years and he came up with the lame excuse that he couldn't live with me anymore because I would not quit smoking, so he made life a living hell until I finally left. I found out later that he was going with a woman that he not only met in a bar but she was also a smoker. LOL. Anyway you need to get out and meet someone else as soon as possible don't sit around it will just give you time to think about him too much and if you start to think too much you will tell yourself that you want him back and you don't need that. He sounds like a real piece of work and you are better than that, you don't need it. Good Luck to you.
2006-11-28 22:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by linda s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I presume your former husband married you because you were charming, fun, and desirable. Not because you were ugly and hard to get along with. People change but their core personality is there waiting to come out again. I say, start circulating and be your old self again.. charming, fun to be with, desirable. You'd likely feel awkward, like being in your teens again. It's ok. One of those days you'd bump into someone you like... you won't pining away dwelling and beating around a dead marriage...the less you squander your valuable time over a dead issue the better you'd be in the long run.
Think positive. The world is full of people, you'd be amazed are better than your former husband. They won't see you and you won't see them if you spend a lot of time wondering and mopping over the past.
Wont speak to you? His loss, not yours. Good luck.
2006-11-28 23:02:25 · answer #3 · answered by McDreamy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry that you had to endure such hurt. this porn now days has ruined many a good men.i have seen so many people have problems due to porn and unfaithfulness from the internet. lust is a powerful weapon . you need to go on and dont look back. you didnt do anything wrong.he is the foolish one. one day looks will be gone and what will he have?he will have a broken down old woman and no one will want him either. you go on and be happy and ask god to help you to find a good man who will love and respect you no matter what you look like.one day he will regret what he has done and it will be too late.
2006-11-28 22:44:08 · answer #4 · answered by jbearbooboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you even want to speak to him? He's obviously not the person you married. Let's see 22 years....I'd say you're in your prime! Get out there and enjoy your new found independence! DONT look back!
2006-11-28 22:40:53 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve much more than that garbage! Please tell yourself he is not worth YOU not the other way. Yuk why would you want him now? You would never be able to trust him again. You CAN do better it's not too late for you....and of course he has no answers he's not gonna admit to being wrong....it would make you look better. Let him go be free he will regret it one day maybe! Best wishes and I am sorry!
2006-11-28 22:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl you need some couseling seriously you need to talk to someone cause you have some issues you need to work through to get over it your husband obvisliy fell out of love with you a long time ago for whatever reason and he has moved on i feel really bad for you i have been there and i have done what im telling you to do and now i am happily married again to a man who adores me
2006-11-28 22:35:47 · answer #7 · answered by ladyluck356 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it also happened to me, he wouldn't even speak to me anymore, said some ugly things to me about myself. anyway it takes time to get over it, but do not define your self worth by his ugly opinion about u. we have to know that people we love do hurt us, and we have to accept that, and know it was not our falt. we get better when we stop expecting the man who hurt us to be sorry, when we quit looking for them to come home, in other words when he expect nothing else from him. we have to have a support system, maybe a church group, they are there for u, and can help u. when we get kicked to the curb after we have given the best years of our life to a man, our self worth is in question, everything we loved and valued is now gone, got to rewrite your story, got to go out meet new people. recovering one's self esteem is going to take awhile, u have suffered a terribble shock. u were right to leave him, and not try and hang on as some do. now u can move on, u will always love him, and what u remember the marriage was, and u will mourne what it could have been, and also none of us like changes, they are hard, we do fear the unknown. he won't talk to u as he know's he is guilty, and just don't want to be accountable, doesn't want to be sorry, he know's he gave u a hurt u did not deserve. just know this is not about u, it's about some homewrecker out there, who latched on to your husband, she took what she did not have, she stole from u.
2006-11-28 22:46:05 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch!
Best thing is just stay active.
Get out with some friends, join up with some clubs. Only time will really heal the pain but staying active will keep you from dwelling on it.
2006-11-28 22:33:12 · answer #9 · answered by gypse76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the long run, you're better off without him. He's not the only person in the world to speak to. Life goes on with or without him.
2006-11-28 22:39:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋