Why do heterosexual tell us as much, when defending homosexuals?

Question

I have been reading many questions and answers on this site today, about being proud of being gay, defending it, rants about the homophobes. The disturbing issue here is that in nearly all the posts I’ve read, and I read at least 30, the heterosexuals who wrote amazing nodes, I mean succinct, intelligent, and well written, all had to write: "I'm not a homosexual" or "I'm a heterosexual".

Why is this? Who cares what your preference is? You just finished writing that you didn't care, that you were cool with homosexuals etc. By telling us all that you in fact are not homosexual in a homosexual post, is quite indicative of not really being okay with the whole thing. Your sexual preference was not an issue; it had no relevance to the post.
Sexual preference has no weight in measuring a person's self worth, so why tell us you are or are or are not?

Answer 1

They want to disillusion the bigots who seem to think that it's gay vs. straight instead of smart vs. ignorant.

Answer 2

If someone is answering just any question and following it with their sexual orientation, then your theory might have some credence. However, most of the times I've noticed it, there's been some reason behind it.

For the ones I most often read- rants against homophobia or replies to homophobic questions- it makes perfect sense. It's ridiculous to reply to bashers, though we all do it, but if anyone's going to get through to them, it's going to be straight people. Does that make sense? If someone says 'All homos are evil lying child molesters?', then the person asking it is not likely to believe anything written by someone who is gay or unspecified. I doubt they'll listen to anyone, really, but if someone identifies as straight yet still says the same message, then it bears some more weight. It has the effect of "I'm not defending this because it's my lifestyle, but because it's right for higher reasons, which are ____.".

Otherwise, it might simply be to let the questioner know in case it has any significance on their answer. We are all human beings and all have the same problems, but there's not denying that there is such thing as the 'gay culture' and certain outlooks that we bring to the table with our experiences as being gay or straight. Such can shade an answer, therefore the person might give their orientation so the questioner knows and can decide if it has any bearing on the answer- if a lesbian should really listen to the advice given to her by a heterosexual male about what lesbians do in bed. Not that it should matter if the information is true, but you generally ask a question when not sure of the answer, so the person who provides it should have 'credentials' of a sort- either a source, sounding knowledgeable, making logical, rational sense, or, as is often the case, bringing direct experience (in the case of the example I gave, a lesbian woman giving advice on lesbian sex). That's all.

Also, might it just be a little bit of pride or even self-grandeur. A lot of straight people, for some reason, get a little bit of a high from being knowledgable about gay issues or 'protecting' and being defensive of gays, and adding that little detail lets them know it. Or just part of their identity- Yahoo is somewhat impersonal, and letting others know as much about you is nice. (Or possibly it's a way to ward off 360-page come-ons?). Or just something to tell people- I know that I like to mention in my answers that I'm bisexual, when the opportunity arises.

It's not that I don't think your concept is wrong, but maybe there are some other reasons. And hey, if it's defense, it's defense . . . I'll take what I can get.

Answer 3

I think you did the right thing, I've had friends stick up for me in the same way, and I loved them for it! But, I think you and John should have a private talk about it. Start by making sure he's comfortable - not in public at school - and tell him straight off you just want to be a good friend. Ask him if your response the other day bothered him, go ahead and tell him you never want to embarrass him, but you won't put up with people giving him a hard time. It sounds to me, that since he's not afraid to tell people he's gay, he seems pretty straightforward. So I would be very direct about asking him, and make sure it ends with a feeling of you respecting him and his wishes. Tell him you love just how he is, but you are his friend and want to have his back.

Answer 4

I am Gay and I have lived in the US for a little while now and you managed to prove quite well that this is the land of politically correct "one is damn if he does, and damn if he doesn't" It is as if you wrote this question out of pure boredom! Most people on this site post intelligent, well thought-out questions, with the only desire to further their knowledge and the one of others without wanting to hurt anyone in the process. The GLBT community wears a flag very proudly and never misses an opportunity to proclaim loud and clear "that's my flag, I am queer and I am here."
What about straight people parade, and heterosexual day awareness. After all, there would be no you, if your parents had not been from opposite genders. There is beauty in a little diversity. I don't mind straight people telling me that they are straight almost like a warning "straight people coming at you."
Let's be a little bit more compassionate and little bit more understanding towards everyone! We can't expect to be accepted if all we do is reject on any given pretenses, especially absurd ones.

Answer 5

Depending on the questions I think that having the person who is answering tell there sexual orientation just gives the answer more power, more strength, more credibility.
It's interesting that you bring this up because one thing that always bothers me is when the question asker does not identify their gender! Because there are a lot of str8s in this forum and some times they are the one who is asking the question I think they forget it is a gay forum and they are asking a str8 question. If you have a question like this for instance: "I'm In Love With This Boy Who Is 5 Years Older Then Me, What Should I Do???" Well I want to know it this is a gay female asking the question or a str8 male asking the question so I can better answer it!
*hugs*
JAC<

Answer 6

Hmm I think you might be reading too much into this. I think everybody should be open about their sexuality no matter what.

We have enough real homophobia to worry about, sooo we probably shouldn't be attacking those straights that want to support us. We need them, since there's just not that many gays in the world (really 10% is a very, very generous number)

I see what you're saying though. But sometimes I just say 'I'm gay' out of the blue, it's no defense mechanism whatsoever...I imagine it's the same for straight people.

Answer 7

You may have a valid point. But gays and lesbians often similarly announce their sexual preference. Moreover, what of all the posters who say nothing of their sexual preference. You really don't know what percentage of those are gay, what percentage straight. I think what you have addressed here is correct as far as it goes but it is incomplete. BTW, I think this is just an oversight. I don't think you are intentionally being unfair.

Answer 8

I've noticed that too.

I think it's a little like white liberals saying "Some of my best friends are black/Mexican/purple" etc.


The most amazing man I ever met was a VERY sexy straight man who spent 12 hours with me shirtless at a gay pride event and never once told anyone he wasn't gay.....not the guys hitting on him.....not the bible pounders....not a soul.

Now that's an ally you can be in the trenches with.

Answer 9

I agree with others. Visibility as a straight person who speaks in defense of gay people is important. It's important that we know that there are straight people on our side. Because all too often, I come across straight people who are homophobic and see nothing wrong with it--my own family, unfortunately.

Answer 10

The answer is specifically about people's attitudes toward gays. I think it is a salient point to tell what sexuality you are, as part of the response would be that straight people (as well as gay people) feel this way.

Answer 11

thats i good question and upon pondering it i think ppl include that because they want to make a point that even straight people can be fine with homosexuality and its not just gay ppl that are doing the arguing its the straight ppl as well.
thats the reason why i do any ways
good point though