My cousin only calls when she wants something, which it is usually to keep her kids. This hurts my feelings..

Question

I'm a big girl don't get me wrong, I don't cry or dwell on it, but for the time being it really irks my soul. She never calls unless she needs a favor, such as keeping her kids, doing something on the computer for her or lending her something. We both live in a small town where we have little family, {she does have more in this town than I do though}, so I could see us helping each other with such things, but to never call unless it is that time. Sometimes, I call her to talk, as I need someone to talk to about something or nothing, but she just sits there as if she would rather be digging grub worms. Today, I made it clear in a nice way that I had other things to do tomorrow, but could help her out for about a hour. She made the comment, if you help me this time I'll never ask you to do anything for me again. I said, OK, as I wasn't in to her pissy attitude. I never ask her for anything by the way. Should I tell her tomorrow my issue with her?

Another thing that pissed me off at her. Our family went to her daughter's b'day party, inwhich she barely said 2 words to us. My husband makes more money than hers, could this be the reason for her attitude. I don't work & she is always looking for another job. I don't brag about my fortunes by no means. She didn't even thank us for the gift we gave her child. To me she is just rude & a user.

Answer 1

These feelings that you are having toward her are going to keep building and building; if you don't go ahead and discuss them with her, you might lose your cool one day and really go off on her and say things that maybe you did not mean to and cannot be taken back. It sounds to me that she is indeed taking you for granted and will continue to do so until you tell her how you feel. Some people do not realize that they do this to others until it is brought to their attention. Then again, on the other hand, some people are just like that and down right rude. If I were you, I would tell her exactly how I felt about everything, but try to do it in a nice way. From the sound of the narrative you wrote with your question, it seems as you are a good person and would handle this way. Hopefully, once you confront her, she will see the "error" of her ways and change her attitude. If she doesn't, at least then you will know that you tried and you will not fell bad when you tell her no the next time she wants something from you. Good luck.

Answer 2

once when i was a young man i had this really bad temper.i was bitter because of a bad childhood.when i got married we decided that a change was in order so that i could go forward.i discovered that if i got upset about something that i would not have a reaction for three days and three nights.as a result,about the second day i was OK.now,after three days if i still had a reaction, i was allowed to react.example;if someone did me wrong and i still felt the same after three days then i confronted them.in this case,you are probably ready for a confrontation.i think your friend is a jerk and the children will be the ones to loose.

Answer 3

enable your fiancé and his family cope with it. It replace into reliable that he replace into the only to make the call. merely shop being the bigger individual. If a lie is suggested approximately you on your presence, via all potential, ideal it. yet do no longer pass out of your way calling every person or posting on fb asking in the event that they heard the latest insulting gossip from Jennie. She's out of your wedding ceremony occasion so she's out of your hair. Breathe, do no longer complication lots. Are her mum and dad married? in case you experience the will, write an impressive letter to them saying you're unhappy which you and Jennie have grown aside, and which you nonetheless love her and them and which you seem forward to growing to be to be a member of their family in the church. Have your fiancé and doubtless his mum and dad study it first to confirm it does not sound snarky or holier-than-thou. Be humble, do no longer undesirable mouth Jennie. this is okay so which you would be able to tell your people approximately her habit, yet for a individual in denial, you telling her family she's having issues is like spreading vicious rumors. this is why you may desire to enable your fiancé and his family cope with it. lower back, if confronted, ideal any lies, yet do no longer attack Jennie, merely say you grew aside. She made it sparkling she does not desire your help, there's no longer lots else you're able to do.

Answer 4

If you don't tell her nobody else is going to. Just ask her why the only time you see her is if she needs something. Let her tell you why. She is taking advantage of your friendship/relationship the way I see it. If you haven't been charging her to babysit her kids maybe you should start. Tell her that you could use the extra money.

Answer 5

Here is what you need to do, start a journal of the times and date of when she calls,and what she wanted when she called. Also keep a journal of when she calls to just talk and not ask for anything. Then after one month of this take her what you have written down, and talk to her and how you feel. Make her understand that you only feel like she wants to talk is when she needs something.

Answer 6

I would say that you love her as a cousin. But, there are babysitters out there and if you do a favor for her then you should get a favor in return. Other wise cut your lose and go about your life.

Answer 7

Yes! You are cousins! You should let each other know how you feel. Its not rude either, if you think that's what is it. If she is making you do what you do want to do, or upsetting you, of course she should know, don't you want her to know when you make her upset? So I say, tell her! Communication is the best thing ever.

Answer 8

Tell her you don't mind but it would be nice if she called just to see how you were doing. If she has a problem then she can find someone else to do everything for her. Your not a doormat, DON"T let anyone treat you like one.

Answer 9

Yes, talk to her about it. Tell her you'd like to be mutual friends and have a two way relationship. Not the same one way, "you do for me only" arrangement. Good luck!

Answer 10

if you have an issue with someone, you need to let them know before it goes too far. put your foot down and stand up for yourself. if you don't you'll get walked all over and your relationship will be destroyed