Every night a woman posts here about how to get the magic back with her husband, and every night people tell her to try new things; new positions, new adventures, DVD's, be spontaneous, her her her.
Why is it in the beginning of a relationship the men chase us like crazy, then when it dies off WE have to be the ones to come up with new ideas and adventures. Doesn't that make you a little bitter? It does me, because I'm in the same boat. Me and my guy used to make love a trillion times, now its nothing and I'm sick of it. I've tried and tried to no avail. So I should keep trying? Screw that.
Men say women are deceptive, I think MEN use sex to hook women, and once they have us, the love/sex mysteriously disappears. I want to know WHY men do this and why we, the women, have to fix it???????
2006-11-28 13:32:53 · 15 answers · asked by Ade 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
AMEN, SISTER!!
THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER READ ON HERE!!
I THINK YOU SHOULD SPEARHEAD A SUPPORT GROUP FOR THOSE OF US THAT FEEL THIS WAY!!
2006-11-28 16:21:04 · answer #1 · answered by Wildflower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After a child is born many couples go through a difficult period. It is completely normal. You have to adapt to a brand new life and way of thinking when you become a parent. At the beginning sex does tend to diminish. Your wife is probably also dealing with body insecurities after baby. Talk to her. Tell her you think she is a beautiful new mommy who is doing a great job but you feel a little neglected. Say that you already know she has a lot on her plate as well as you but you need her to show that she loves you. That you also need to feel needed. Don't cheat on your wife. Cheating only works in the negative. If you value your marriage make it work. Try maybe some counseling. If all your efforts fail than separate. You sound like a good man. I'm sure you will do the right thing.
2016-05-22 23:54:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men do not intentionally lose interest in sex partners. It just happens. Maybe there's no excitement, maybe it's ED, maybe it's some other medical or psychological reason.
It is every man's fantasy to be able to command the ability to perform sex at will. But after a while, especially when we get older, it just doesn't happen as often. It is extremely humiliating to admit that we cannot perform, so I doubt that your man is intentionally withholding sex from you.
Now if you want your man to do something on his end, then he should go see his doctor and get ED medication if that's the problem. But aside from medication, exercise and eating right, there's not much else a man can do. The only other part of the equation is your role.
It's not that he doesn't love you and it's not that he thinks you're not beautiful. It's just that he really cannot explain why, and if he asks for your help, then he's truly reaching out.
2006-11-28 13:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by eddygordo19 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think yes, the chase and the thrill of it are over once we get into a committed relationship. I also think it's a case of settling into a groove, getting complacent, taking each other for granted. I don't know really. I've been married for 13 years. We are never in sync with each other. For ten years he was a once every two weeks guy, and I of course was very displeased with that, but god forbid I try to intiiate it if he didn't want it. Then one day he just woke up and suddenly wanted it every other day and by then I was just emotionally disconnected and disinterested, and we had fights over sex for crying out loud! Now it's back to the other way, not as often as I want. Yes, I get the physically demanding job, the busy life carting the kid everywhere in town and all that, but something has to give.
Lay it on the line! Tell him you're tired and you're ready to move on. See if he can't get with it.
2006-11-28 13:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I read somewhere that men expend all their effort and energy trying to "get" the girl. During the courting phase, the girl puts up all kinds of resistance to test the endurance of the suitor. Unfortunately both attitudes become counter-productive once the relationship is consumated. Guy realizes that girl was not "all that" after all. Girl thinks she's found a keeper that has passed all her tests. All of a sudden the pursued becomes the pursuer, and the pursuer becomes the pursued. Tough life.
2006-11-28 13:55:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not typical and any marraige professional can tell you that. Statistically it is usually the reverse that is true.
Women lose their libido after marraige or kids and husbands are left holding their you know what. Yes it does cause resentment and may lead to infidelity. This is wy so many men cheat. What is happening to you does suck but it is not the norm.
The question for you is:
What will you do about this?
2006-11-29 05:13:46 · answer #6 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn girl, I am so with you on that one! You are so right, we are always the ones who have to dress nice and sexy and make sure that we keep the spark going and make sure that we try new things and the guy just have to be there. I am so sick of it as well, I have had a great relationship where for 4 years we had sex and it never got boring, every time we touched each other or kissed, we both would get so aroused, I just wish that he wasn't so against marriage. If you find a solution, please let me know. thanks!
2006-11-28 13:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It happens to both men and women. The thing is, your partner doesn't share your sex drive (for any of a whole host of reasons).
There is a group of people that are in the same boat as you are.
SWAGE
2006-11-28 14:21:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bedroom may be a symptom of other things that may be going on within the marriage. Both need to fix the problem.
2006-11-28 14:07:03 · answer #9 · answered by ccrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES MEN DO USE THE ALL THEY CAN TO GET WHAT THEY WANT AND THEY SO GET SETTLED WITH THE IDEA OF I GOT HER NOW. AND ALSO MEN GET GO THRU STAGES 20-29 THEY SEX YOU UP AND CHEAT. 30-38 THEY WANT TO SETTLE DOWN 40-50 THEY DONT WANT TO FACE THE FACT OF GETTING OLD AND WANT TO BE LIKE THERE 20-30s AND SEE IF THEY STILL GOT IT SO PREPARE YOURSELF AND INVEST IN TOYS THAT WILL PLEASE YOU FULLY IF YOU NOT WANTING TO CHEAT ON YOUR MATE
2006-11-28 13:48:52 · answer #10 · answered by Judy D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yah this does suck. Women always have to feel that the lack of intimacy is their fault or problem.
If it is like this now, I bet marraige is something else.
2006-11-28 15:09:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋