Is it wrong I feel this way?

Question

I have a friend that is pregnant but now is going to have an abortion. Im on the verge of not talkin to her because of it for a few reasons. 1) She is almost 3 months and taking her time to have the abortion(murder),2) Shes knows iim dying to have a baby and is rubbing it in my face shes preg(and not keeping it),3) She willing had all this unprotected sex and always complained of not gettin preg and now that she is she's aborting it cuz the reality is real... I'm not against abortions if the pregnancy was accidental and precautions were used to prevent it but failed or someone is raped but i cannont forgive someone like my soon to be ex friend who just abuses the gift of being able to have a baby and doesnt by any means try to prevent it when theres are tons of ppl(like myself) having trouble concieving or ppl thats just cant have babies. Am I wrong for having this anger?

Answer 1

NOOOOO your not wrong...lol a time or two when i felt really low about not being able to get pregnant....lol like id just taken a test that day and it was negative..id get on here and some little girl would write in how soon can i have an abortion i hate this being pregnant i dont want it blah blah blah and id just breakdown and unleash...you cant change how people are but sometimes i find that if you write it down like write her a letter online and tell her you know hey your a stupid hoe i hate you for doing this...blah blah blah whatever u wanna say...then delete it....and go take a nice hot bath with candles and all the extras..sleep naked that night with your hubby maybe youll get some ...you feel better the next morning...if shes really rubbing it in your face..i wouldnt talk to her til after the operation was done. I know how stressful and how upsetting it can be...goodluck to both you and me and lots of baby dust on both of us!!!

Answer 2

No you are not wrong to feel this way.

Ask her if she has considered all her options. Talk to a local catholic charities group near you or a family planning center that may be able to help her make a more informed decision.

Has anyone thought of suggesting adoption to her? To be honest, adoption sounds better for her, if she is too irresponsible to protect herself from her sexual encounters without realizing or given real thought to getting pregnant, let alone the host of diseases out there, then chances are she may not be too responsible in caring for a child. No child asks to be born, however just because they didn't ask, that doesn't mean they don't deserve an oppurtunity to have a better life.

I wouldn't be angry with your friend though, I would show her some consideration and if anything try to lead her to other alternatives so she can be better informed. Even if she did have the abortion, I would put your own feelings about it aside (I believe it is murder as well) and still try to be there for her, because evntually she will need a friend, either right away or down the road because she will look back and regret it deeply.

My friend had one then it took her so many years to conceive again, so long she was afraid she couldn't have any. She eventually did, but it had been to a point where she was concerned it had ruined her chances to have one because that is a risk that is possible when you have an abortion, even though she has a daughter now, she regrets it even more once she saw how precious the life she created was. And if you just can't forgive her, imagine how sweet it'll be if you stay by her side and get to tell her I told you so when she's regretting it. Evil thought, I know.

But if you truly believe that abortion is wrong, use your beliefs to guide her to better alternatives maybe you can give this baby a chance by reaching out to her, one it may not get without you by her side.

Answer 3

You are not wrong! I had the same problems with my best friend getting pregnant on accident well I had been trying for 3 years. But I didn't want to lose her friendship even though she did have the abortion, I relized that if she was willing to do that to herself then it's her body. I did have my own baby a year later,so it all worked out. Keep the faith, if she's a good friend and you don't want to lose her talk to her,tell her how you feel. Best Of Luck.

Answer 4

I would feel the same way as you. She doesnt really sound like a good friend, maybe you should ditch her and hang around possitive people who care what you think and feel and will help/sympathise with your sistuation rather than rub it in your face.
I too believe abortion is a good option to have but not an option to be abused.
Good luck and I hope you fall pregnant with a happy healthy baby soon.

Answer 5

Hi, I think it is completely understandable for you to feel this way. I mean, when we think about things, money, etc. - if you are frugal at all, you will want to see them utilized the best. Or, how would you feel to see someone wasting food and your stomach is completely empty. And these are only things we are talking about, let alone something - to many people - more precious than any of the above: a human life, a baby. I don't have kids, and don't intend to have any until I feel ready for that change, because having a baby is not something you get and then leave aside.

And the irony is, often, exactly like in your case - somebody easily comes to something other person almost desperately wishes for. The first one doesn't care, and the other one would almost die for it (or without it).

I don't know you, but suppose there are reasons why the two of you are friends. And friends are there for each other, even when they disagree. I think you are right - this is one of the situation where things might get ugly, but - perhaps there is still time (and ways) to avoid abortion of your friendship. If you are like me, and a true friend, I know you are angry at her, but on the other hand, you want to make sure you did your share to save the friendship, and you also want to make sure you and your friend did your homework - make a research and make sure she is fully aware of her actions and their consequences.

Although it may not seem so now, in case she makes an abortion, she might need you even more then if she'd have a baby. (If she has any consciousness at all, imagine her remorse once she gets the picture!) If the two of you have a long history, there are probably times when she backed you up, and perhaps she would do it again, just when you need it. Perhaps even with your present situation, although now it might not seem that way.

I don't know is it too late or not to do something about the case you are talking about. But perhaps there is a way for not losing your friend, nor a baby. Before dismissing your friend, would you consider to talk to her - you said that she wanted to get pregnant, and now she's going to back off (i.e. get an abortion). If you are good friends, then your relationship should allow you to relatively quickly find out the true reasons - why did she want to get pregnant in the first place, and why would she back off now - are there any fears involved, is she unwilling to exchange her current life with the role of the mother (and how she sees the role of the mother), etc. I am sure that, with a bit of googleing, and a friendly approach you could really achieve something.

I truly support your view, and am totally against an abortion as a birth control tool - there ARE other ways. Here are some ideas what can you do about it, before is too late: as a friend, you could express your wish to make things easier for her (in the long term). I.e. to help her make completely informed decision. Whatever she decides, she must fully understand the consequences of each choice. Plus, you can remind her on some of her previous good decisions (if there were such - I suppose she's not completely reckless, but reality scared her, as you said). You can also remind her of the fact that she wanted a baby, and now she doesn't. But make a point that just as she didn't know how would she actually feel about having a baby, then, how can she know how would she feel after having an abortion? Or a couple of years later? How would she feel if she had a stillborn baby? (My brother's wife couldn't hold her second pregnancy to the end - she had a natural abortion, and a friend had a stillborn twins -> and it was quite a heartache for them.)

Perhaps you could also visit fertility clinic, to consult a doctor, discover and review pros and cons, talk to girls who took an abortion and those who were in the same position but didn't. Make sure to include all views, including those who gave children for adoption instead of abortion. And your deep desire for baby, and current inability to conceive is also a welcome piece of the picture.

Also, a good idea is to visit a doctor, and let them check for some potential medical contradictions, i.e. the cases when the baby would be so handicapped, it would be a torture for her to live. You can say - if it proves to be the case, you have my full support.

If she still thinks she doesn't want the baby, at least try to talk her into giving the birth to the baby. Use her habit of changing her mind, and make sure she understands once she has an abortion, there's no turning back for that baby, and she might endanger her chances of having babies in the future, when she would be good and ready. (Abortions are like any operation - there's no guarantee for success, plus they are even more risky, because not everyone is trained sufficiently. Unless she can pay a small fortune...) But let she hears it from somebody else, somebody with real numbers and real life experience, so she couldn't accuse you of being partial.

You can also use the fact that pregnancy makes women sexier - so she will have more of what she wants. And on of the worse symptoms of pregnancy (morning sickness) is almost over. And you can offer her an idea how she can easily avoid the point of non return and actually delay her decision about not having a baby: let her keep the baby at least through another 3-4 months (ideally through the week 40-42), and if she decides not to keep it afterwards, let her let you keep it and take care of the baby for the rest of baby's life. That way you might strike two with one shot: neutralize one of her reasons of not having a baby, and neutralize one of your potential reasons for not being able to have a baby (trying too much?). Her gain is - if she gives baby a birth and still doesn't want her, she is free (i.e. you get it), and if she changes her mind, she gets to keep the baby. So there's no loss for her. And if she decides not to keep the baby, but lets you adopt it, and in the years later she wants her baby back, she'll be happy to know baby's foster parents. (I don't suggest to overrule the legislation in that area. Baby is not a toy, and both baby and foster parents need to know for how long can they count on each other.)

Your gain is - the baby is alive either way, and it might even make your wish come true, so you can be at peace. (Perhaps even enough relaxed to have a one of your truly own?)

Sorry for writing this much - hopefully you get some good ideas, and a win-win solution :D

Answer 6

Why did he kiss you. Did he p.c.. up a sign that made him think of you have been involved. And to call him a jerk and forget approximately him and take care of him terrible because of the fact he exchange right into a foul kisser and you probably did no longer desire him to kiss you. provide me a wreck. sooner or later karma will bite you in the ***. And confident you're incorrect, way incorrect.

Answer 7

No you aren't wrong at all. You should tell her how you feel and if she can't respect it, you keep clear of her for a while.

If you believe abortion is wrong and you can't face her choice, you are allowed to stop being her friend. You are not allowed to go around saying nasty things about her, but you are entitled to your beliefs as she is entitled to her choice.

Answer 8

No, you're not wrong and yes, if she's a friend or not, talk to her. Abortion is murder, bluntly. Now you can't stop her, and if she goes through with it, you need to forgive her. As far as what she is doing emotionally, talk to her. She may not realize it. She's only human and so are we

Answer 9

Your feelings are totally justified. This person doesn't sound like much of a friend. I'd stay away from her (which it sounds like you're going to do anyway). She should have a little more sense and compassion in this situation.

Answer 10

I think your friend is irresponsible, immature and it is so sad that she is going to abort a healthy baby when there are so many couples who would love children.

I would keep my distance from her if I were you. She is not someone whose friendship I would encourage.