Ok, I am a virgin, I've never had sexual intercourse. I've done many other things, but the thing is (except for kissing), I always end up feeling extremely guilty afterwards. I think that if I do go through with it and have sex, I would feel very depressed about it after. Not about losing it, but, feeling ashamed. Even if it were with someone who I care about and vice versa. I have never brought this up to anybody, and I don't know if this is a serious thing and I need to see a therapist? Has anyone else had a problem similar to this? (I am 20, and have never been sexually abused.)
2006-11-28 13:22:05 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hey, everyone has issues with sex. Some have a phobia, some a compulsion, some a curiosity and some like to play games with people. And then there is good old sex for the hell of it. But no matter what it is that is keeping you virginal, you are likely to give in eventually and be glad you did. Just be certain that it is with a good person and for the right reasons for you, not society at large. If you base your feelings on what society says, you might as well buy a chastity belt. And as for the guilt and bad feelings.....why? It is all self imposed by your own psyche. You want release in some manner and then you punish yourself later on. Instead, think of how enjoyable it was and how you can build on it for future encounters.
P.S. good to hear you never suffered abuse. Too many people out there have and suffer every day because of it.
2006-11-28 13:34:19 · answer #1 · answered by michael g 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) Guilt is a poison.
Recognize that your body & your life are your own to direct as you wish. You answer to your own conscience, and even the conscience is not exempt from further education & updating outmoded positions.
2)Sex is overated.
A normal, natural, enjoyable part of life, yes. Something to get agitated about? No.
Choose your partner carefully - it's the non-sexual aspects of the relationship that usually make-or-break; most people can make the parts work well enough, but are they resposible/mature/kind/strong/funny? After the initial exploration, it's the interpersonal stuff that makes healthy, happy, long term stable relationships that both parties are satisfied with.
3)Talk to a more experienced or older person that you can trust.
We are the cybercommunity of the moment. Our interactions cannot be very person specific - we have never met each other. Talk to a live, real person that you know, who has had sex - married if possible.
Good Luck!
;-)
2006-11-28 14:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by WikiJo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you, it is just the world that makes you think you are supposed to have sex and be OK with it. We are only supposed to have sex with a Husband or Wife not illicit sex. Your guilt is your conscience and that is to protect you. Don't have any sex until marriage that's the law of nature for human beings and if one does they are no more than animals in conscience. So you are OK don't believe any so called therapist that may say otherwise or anyone for that matter. Sounds to me you may be more spiritually advanced than most. Spiritually advanced people are not interested in temporary material pleasure they are interested in actual spiritual pleasure. go to stephen-knapp.c for Universal truths and how to experience real pleasure.
2006-11-28 13:35:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you'd feel better waiting until you're married first. You'll know the right person when the time comes. There's no reason to compromise your conscience messing around with people that you are not meant to be with. There are other things in life to pour yourself into, to redirect your drive and not expose yourself to this guilt. Life is too short to fill it with consequences and regrets.
2006-11-28 13:40:58 · answer #4 · answered by AnswerGuy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you just aren't ready for sex. On the other hand, maybe you're just subconciously afraid (you state that you think you would feel ashamed since you've never even had sex). My advice? Go have a little bit of fun while you're young. Shame passes, just don't take it too far!
2006-11-28 13:26:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to wait until it feels right...i know the guilt of which u speak, i've done things i've regretted in the past. it was fun at the time, but soon after, it didn't feel that good...I've been with my girl for a few years now and the first time we did anything, it felt right. give it time and when it's with someone u like, you won't feel any guilt.
2006-11-28 13:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by andrethegiantkiller 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it is normal. Peer pressure plus you are in 20s, That is a curious thing to both male and female. You just have to go thru this struggle.
Perhaps you should focus on other things (such as religion, stuides, career). and that so called issue will go away
2006-11-28 13:32:15 · answer #7 · answered by YourDreamDoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to have that problem, but then I realized that I wasn't very attracted to the people I kissed.
I hope I helped!
2006-11-28 13:31:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
to me it sounds like you regret it because you really didnt want to do it. i agree... it just feels right when you are with the right person... maybe you were pressured into doing something... just dont rush, and dont have sex until it feels right...
2006-11-28 13:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by nickcap23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well maybe your brain is telling your body you are doing too much...there are a whole list of things I could ask you here, but alas, you might want to talk to someone closer to you...
2006-11-28 13:25:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋