We're getting married in 2-3 years, and I want to remind him that we should start saving. He is clueless about this stuff... all he knows is that he loves me. :-) Should I tell him? Is it necessary? How should I do it?
2006-11-28 13:14:34 · 21 answers · asked by reba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you know something about him ......he is clueless about this stuff. Thus, never hold it against him for being clueless. Some women marry and figure that the clueless guy they married will suddenly be on cue and know what is going on.
If you can enter the marriage knowing what you see is what you get then your marriage will have a good chance of lasting.
Sinse he is clueless, it is up to you to take on the responsibability. Sinse you asknowledge he is like this, don't hold it against him. Figure out what he is good at in the relationship and then don't fuss years from now that he is clueless about your anniversary etc.
I am not being sarcastic. I just have learned the hard way that a guy doesn't change because you are married.
You save. You make lists and outlines for the wedding. Run it all by him so you arn't accused of taking all the control. Geesh I believe in doucumenting everything. Send him stuff by email and if years from now he says....."hey you never told me how expensive this wedding was going to be" You just bring up the email proof.
You will have a happy love and marriage if you don't let false expectations ruin things for you.
Time to save.
2006-11-28 13:21:42 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What? If this man wants to marry you and he has no concept of caring for his wife and family (Including planning for a wedding) you are marrying the wrong man and for the wrong reasons. Marriage is a partnership between two people bot one and it sounds like you will be taking care of the wedding and are headed for divorce court before you're even married. How old are the both of you? Wait until you're at least 25 years old and you'll be far better off, maybe even have met a real man by then? Sorry about that; Wake up and think!
2006-11-28 13:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to visit a financial planner. You need some concrete numbers of what your wedding is expected to cost, and he has to be on board with that ALL THE WAY. Goal setting will help.
The last thing you want him to do is be resentful about the expense of "your special day."
Weddings are for women. Guys could be just as happy meeting you at the justice of the peace, wham bam, thank you maam, you're married- now go live together for eternity.
Sorry, but we're just not wired for the camelot fantasy.
2006-11-28 13:21:31 · answer #3 · answered by Lion J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not if he and you both are planning on getting married. its a very practical thing. i saw somewhere the other day that the average wedding is around $20,000. YIKES
id def start saving. Bring it up casually i guess. remind him that with the holidays coming up maybe you can start putting some money into a new savings acct or some acct that is just for wedding savings. thats what i did with my fiance. worked just fine. the hardest thing for him was not buying all his big expensive "toys" that he likes to buy. we comprised and i told him once we had enough saved up, or we felt like were were in good shape he could buy some big stuff or at least just one big thing.
2006-11-28 13:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by crose0130 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really. I think guys are often clueless about such things, but you should have the conversation right now about your budget and each of your expectations about the wedding and your life together. If he's really a flake about finances, you'd better think twice about marrying him. He's not the only person who will ever love you in your lifetime and you need to have some modicum of pragmatism when you get legally bound to someone. Good luck.
2006-11-28 13:19:22 · answer #5 · answered by swirlygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So ummmm are you actually engaged? If not then maybe he isn't planning on getting married in 2-3 years. Until you are actually engaged and set a date there is nothing to save for. You can't guarantee that in 2-3 years you'll still be together let alone get married.
2006-11-28 16:14:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start the conversation off with "How much money do you think we'll need for the wedding....and then go on with...if we start saving XX amount TODAY...then we will be able to afford the type of wedding we want.
2006-11-28 13:17:27 · answer #7 · answered by texascomet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open a joint account or have a portion of his check automatically depsoited in this account if he forgets. This is a rhetorical question, but would you feel weird asking him to save up for a family? If you are serious about eachother there should be no problem.
2006-11-28 13:19:05 · answer #8 · answered by Erik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to remind him that there is a wedding coming. of course you need to start saving unless his family is willing to pay for it. it's not weird at all. this is your wedding and the perfect one only happens once..
2006-11-28 13:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by lala15 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its weird that you want to remind your boyfriend to save for your wedding. I think you should just make his favorite meal and tell him to save for your wedding!!!
2006-11-28 13:20:52 · answer #10 · answered by claudia V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋