My husband recently cheated on me with a good friend (so i thought she was) and he thought he'd get away with it but lil did he know we talked and she told me everything then eventually he did but I still cant seem to get it out of my head I feel I will be happier without him but yet i love him I don't know what to he promised to never hurt me again but once a cheater always a cheater right??? should i take his word for it or just cut him lose im confused I did'nt do anything to deserve this...can someone please help me on decideing what to do PLEASE
2006-11-28 13:00:08 · 12 answers · asked by tasha o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's a serious situation, no doubt. What you and your husband need to do is talk about why he cheated on you, not merely about the fact that he did it. If you can find the root of the problem and, as you have said, do love him, you should make another attempt at the marriage. We are all too quick to sign divorce papers in this day and age. Work things out between yourselves and make things right.
Good luck.
2006-11-28 13:05:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, in all likelihood it could be "always a cheater", but not always. There are some people who have recovered from that and never strayed, but I don't have any stats on that.
This decision is not black and white. There are so many emotions involved, and it's not read cut and dried. Why not go with the in between of talking it out, trying to get counseling, and seeing how that goes? Don't end it right now, don't commit to staying together. Make your feelings clear, get some help and work on the marriage. It's not just the cheating, there are other things that probably need to be discussed and aired.
2006-11-28 21:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's truly sorry and wants to change, and if you're willing to chalk this up as an "accident", then with effort you can both work through it.
The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is true most of the time. There are exceptions, but they are few and far between. Only you can determine whether your husband is worth the effort of giving him a second chance.
But if he does it again, kick his *** to the curb without a second thought. Once can be an "accident". Twice is not.
But it will take work on both of your parts if you're going to get through it.
2006-11-28 21:21:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you decide to stay it is going to be very hard work for him to gain back the trust you lost in him when you found out he cheated. It might mean marriage counseling even. You have to decide if it's worth it or not and if HE'S worth it or not. I would never give up without a fight, but that's my own personal opinion. I do know that my hubby told me before we got married over 10 years ago that I could probably get by with most anything with him excepting one thing - cheating. He said if I cheated I might as well pack my bags because it would be the one thing he couldn't forgive. So, as you see, to each his own. Lots of luck and do what is best for YOU!!!
2006-11-28 21:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are correct. You didn't/don't deserve this. BUT, there is another thing to consider. You are married. You can choose to hurt him or to heal the relationship. True forgiveness means taking a little risk. He has to earn your trust, but no one earns forgiveness. I suggest that your marriage is worth effort. I further suggest that counseling is a good idea. Should you choose counseling, shop around for a counselor like you would for a car or shoes. Some counselors aren't worth anything. The first counselor to which my wife and I went suggested that we divorce. We wanted our marriage to succeed. We didn't need someone to tell us to quit. We found a counselor who is working with us to succeed. Our marriage is continually improving as a result of education, work, and determination with love.
2006-11-28 21:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by Jack 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many factors to this, do you have kids? If you do, you would have to cosider that, if you don't have children, then just kick his a** out, you are right, once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve so much better!
2006-11-28 21:04:34 · answer #6 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married? Do you have kids? Either way, he is a lier and a cheat and no one deserves to be with someone that disrespects them that way. You should definitely leave him because he will not change.
2006-11-28 21:04:49 · answer #7 · answered by Julie L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all your husband has no respect for you,he had to have your good friend!!!!!
what an asshole!!!!
I would leave him and have nothing to do with your friend!!!!
good friends don't sleep with their friends husband
you deserve better,get somebody who will love you and respect you,I have been there with my ex husband cheating on me
good luck
2006-11-28 21:09:37 · answer #8 · answered by msalb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! It is your choice, God's will allow a divorce if your partner has been unfaithful, keep in mind that God also believes in reconciliation, but if you cannot live in peace, I would leave him.The ball is in your court......God bless ya.
2006-11-28 21:08:01 · answer #9 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him another chance, but if he ever cheats again, leave him!
2006-11-28 21:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋