I have a husband that I know he do not love me, he tolerates me because I have a good income. HELP ME!?

Question

We barely talk and not because we are mad with each other. I suffer from depression and post traumatic syndrone and I need love and affection. please help

My husband is aware of all of my problems.. I am on meds and I see a therapist. My husband did trigger the severe depression by being extremely cruel to me when I could no longer work years (8) ago. My husband told me that he could not carry me..and you cannot imagine how that hurt.I want to leave but I do not want to be alone, even though I am lonely being married to him, at least his physical presence is here {not sexual or emotional}. I am living the life of an old woman.I do not have a supportive family, I need the strength to leave and I am scared. A person cannot live without some type of affection and I do not even get a touch. I can be crying and he will then talk but never touches. Yes I have gained weight but I am not obese. I did look much better than this but when you are depressed, that deteriorates. I used to be very outgoing and made very sound decisions, that is over.I know that I am needy, but a HUG!!. When I attempt to explain to him a problem, he tears it apart.

Answer 1

At least you're on the right path. You are aware of the situation in hand. In my opinion, your on the path to healing. I think that you're probably finished with all the pain and ready to move on. No matter how scared you are, you should do what's in your best interest. You'll probably be better off without him.
Keep in mind that you are number one!
Love should never hurt.. If you feel like your ready to move on, but are scared, weigh your options. Compare it to how your feeling now... Talk to someone about it...A friend. Someone who will be there for you.

Good luck

Answer 2

WoW! Do I know how you feel I am somewhat in the same boat as you. I am in a relationship that has no presence as well. Sometimes I wonder if it is really me depressed or if it is the person that I am holding me down so that I don't feel worthy to someone else~ I too have gained weight but I wouldn't say that I look hidious I definately blame the depression this. However, the most important thing for you to do right now is work on your self and address the issue with him later. I am recently starting some antidepressents in hopes that this will get me to the point were I can get above my depression sometimes the enviroment (aka people) we surround ones self with can be a big trigger to our depression. I am not saying go and get separated by start keeping in your head the things that he does that set you off. I have been keeping a tally sheet recently and finding a lot of the things that are going on are simply not me. Get your self strong enough to address your issues. Take every day one day at a time. Do little things that will make you happy, go get a hair cut, get coffee with a girl friend small things. Every little bit helps, I eliminated one of my stressors and that was my job and I feel a world of differance; now I need to address other issues but I don't expect to overcome them overnight! Be Strong and have faith you will get through this.

Answer 3

Is he aware of your condition? If not he's probably taking the depression symptoms upon himself. He can't think of why you'd treat him like this, so in turn he feels you're being unfair. In addition, catering to a depression to much won't help you climb out of it.
If he's not aware tell him, and get joint counselling to get the tools you'll both need to deal with your depression. Med's might not be a bad idea either, but you have to let him know.
On the other hand, if he's aware of your depression, and does nothing to offer any reassurance, then he may be just using your depression as an excuse to not offer reassurance.
Tell him about your depression, even if you have nothing to point at to say "This is why". Chemical imbalances cause many clinical depressions and often there is no incident to set it off. If you tell him and he doesn't give some reassurance like"We'll get thru this" or "I know I can't help much, but I love you and I'm here for you" then kick his @$$ out, or leave him. Life is too short, and too hard, when you have depression, to let someone keep you depressed.
We all deserve better than that. My ex-wife had me borderline suicidal, I thought everything was all my fault. Got my meds & counselling, (Thank you Lord) and found that my depression was still there but my suicidal thoughts and total lack of self esteem weren't.

Answer 4

I don't know how long you have been married or been diagnosed. But it ain't easy living with a person with your issues. If you are chronically depressed that you most likely throw off negative energy. Even if you don't throw tantrums.
Maybe what you call love and affection to him is a constant cry for attention. Try talking to/with him about your perception and be ready to listen.
AND if you have turned to the refrigerator for the attention (love and affection) and gained a LOT of wait, that would take its told on him.
Try including him in family therapy or go to a marriage counselor together.

Answer 5

He sounds like he has a great deal of sense! No really, have you bothered to ask him why he's mad? Do you lash out at him because of your depression? Are you on medication to deal with the depression?

You have a number of issues that need to be addressed. Non of them will be solved on Yahoo answers!

Answer 6

I might help with love and affection.

Answer 7

you admitting you have a problem is the first step..

.good for you...

now take the neccessary steps to fix that...

professionally..medication...

you'll loose him, your family, & eventually yourself...