Been together for about 3 years on again off again, have 2 little girls that love him and he's now moved in and out of my home twice in last year. Every fight we have he ends up leaving and turns his phone off or dosn't answer. Tonight it happened again and i left message on his phone saying if it's so easy walk in and out then the next time you come back to doors will locked. All of his possesions are here and not sure if that legal to lock him out?? Told him when he's ready to face us and talk civil then i might consider unlocking door. Any sugestions??
2006-11-28 12:17:47 · 17 answers · asked by confusedw2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if he does call or come back, he might have key to get in..not sure. Then what do i tell him?
2006-11-28 13:16:32 · update #1
You, my dear, have tied your star to a first rate loser with no commitment to you or your children. If he was commited, you would be married, and he wouldn't turn off his phone to avoid talking to you. What if something happened to the kids for God's sake? You are hooked to a baby and its time to cut the cord. If he pays rent and his things are there, you can't lock him out, but you sure can find another place to live if you are not on the lease or ask him to find another place. I would say, time to find a REAL MAN and time for both of you to be good examples to the 2 little innocents caught in the middle of your drama. What kind of example is this for your girls? How to take crap from a man 101 ways? Good luck!
2006-11-28 12:22:29 · answer #1 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not legal to deny him his things-you can get into trouble with the law but you are not required to have him stay. It may be more damaging to your little girl to wittness/hear fights and to have him leave ,come back,leave and so on.They will grow up not trusting men to be reliable-will have difficulties forming stable relationships-maybe.If you are serious about not having him bach-you are empowering this behaviour by always allowing him to come back-giving a poor example of woman-being wishy washy-not example of strong together woman that little girls need and litttle girls usually grow up being like the mother- the you need to call and set time/day can leave this on his phone for him to come and pick up his things-should not give him anytime access to your home.Do not know the man but considering the violence of men towards women esp when woman breaks up I'd be careful.
2006-11-28 12:26:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately it's not legal to lock him out. He is, effectively, your tenant, and what you've done is an unlawful eviction.
You should kick him out once and for all, and make sure he has all of his belongings. Don't prolong this misery...surely at this point you can see he is not going to change. He should still be allowed to see his children, and you really should go to court to put together a visitation schedule. It's a shame you never married, or you'd have a lot more rights than you do.
Good luck.
2006-11-28 12:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows you won't do a thing you have already pr oven that. He will keep on doing what he wants because your not married and without that piece of paper he can come and go as he pleases. What you should do is throw his clothes in the yard and change the locks to your doors.If this man loved you he would marry you and give them girls of his a name.Shame on this man and all other men who play with peoples lives.
2006-11-28 13:14:24 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he isn't on the lease or mortgage...it is legal for you to lock him out. If he has a rental agreement or is on the lease or mortgage you cannot legally lock him out. If you fear for your safety or your children's safety, you could call the police and file a domestic disturbance against him and the police would be sent out to be there when he returns to escort him while he removes his property. Sounds like the next time he comes home you just tell him to make it a permanent move so you have more stability for you and your kids. Oh, and have the locks changed...
2006-11-28 12:24:43 · answer #5 · answered by skittle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, this is instability is not good at all for your girls, if he is so much of a punk to keep running out on you all everytime things get heated then let him leave. Its not against the law to lock him out if his name is not on the lease. Lock him out and have him call the cops if he wants his stuff. The police will supervise him moving his things out because thats what he needs to do... You and your girls deserve better than a boy that keeps running away from responsiblity.
2006-11-28 12:21:46 · answer #6 · answered by mzagge06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to a counselor. How old are you? Are you a student? You can get a free counseling session at any college or university if you attend. Just sign up for a class and that will qualify you. You don't even need to attend. You need help and, as long as he's not abusive or getting anyone else pregnant, you can work it out.
2006-11-28 12:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix 6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are as much of the problem as he is. You are a doormat and you are teaching your kids to be future doormats. No man is worth that, you either have to decide to make it on your own for a while or get some therapy as a couple.
2006-11-28 12:20:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is unstable and if he keeps doing that where do u think he's going. he isn't staying in a motel. leave his sorry a**. that walking out grap is over. u have 3 to worry about and u don't need a problem slowing u down.
2006-11-28 12:23:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I say stop being scared to live without him and lock his a s s out.Good luck
2006-11-28 12:22:05 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋