I am married with 2 beautiful girls, ages 5 and 7 months. I fear that I am pregnant again...unintentionaly of coarse! I decided after my youngest came along that I was done having babies. I don't know what to do...I don't want another child. I am afraid that I will resent the baby.....I don't know if I'm just being selfish or if my feelings are normal of people in this situation. I am having trouble managing my life as it is...I am terrified of what will happen if I add another baby to the mix.
2006-11-28 12:11:09 · 16 answers · asked by KimberlyB 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I think you'll start to feel differently as the pregnancy progresses. Mothers don't limit their love--somehow it multiplies.
If you do feel that you will resent the baby as you get further along, adoption would be a wonderful option!
2006-11-28 12:15:46 · answer #1 · answered by Jujube 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i hope your not it seems it would not be a good situation for anyone. I am 35 weeks 6 days with a unplanned baby. My other kids and nearly 11 and 9 this one was a SHOCK we never used protection in all those years i have fertility issues we thought we could not get pregnant. My hubby got a vasectomy last month to be sure this will never happen again. i do have some feelings of resentment about the situation but, i know in my heart this baby will fit right in things do have a way of Turing out better then we think as far as pregnancy goes
2006-11-28 12:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you add another baby to the mix that just means someone else who will LOVE YOU, someone else who will be there for you to help you and take care of YOU in the future. Yes, it's unplanned, like many others, but it's your baby and it's coming to you for a reason. It's somebody who will love you just because you're "mum", somebody who will think you're the best thing on the planet, someone who will truly love you the way you are, no matter what, someone who will support you in the future. What is done is done, and you have to face it. That baby didn't ask you to bring him or her here, you are bringing it here, YOU. I mean that baby is abit of you. How many people have had several children??? LOADS. And yes it's hard, but anyway, that what life is all about, about finding reasons to live, have something important to do. Yes, having children is hard, and??? there are people that have had loads of them and have been allright. You'll be fine. I know you'll say I'm right when I say this, once you see you're baby for the first time, you realize that you'll do anything and everything for that child. Imagine how much your children love YOU, and just because you are YOU. They love you for the right reasons and there's no love bigger than that
2006-11-28 12:28:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the same options as other pregnant woman. I would suggest talking to your husband about the maybe baby, and letting him know how you feel. If you're already having trouble coping, maybe he can do more to help out even if you turn out not to be pregnant. After you find out for sure, see what all of your options are. There may be some type of assistance where you live, in the form of lowcost daycare. If that's not appealing to you, there's always planned parenthood clinics that can help you learn about your options. It will ultimately be your decision as to what to do. This may even turn out to be a good thing. I'm 27 wks with my first. I have a 4 yr old stepdaughter and we had planned on waiting until after I finished nursing school. He was a total suprise, but now we couldn't be happier. We've just had our 1st anniversary and it's been a big change (I'm now on bedrest and out of school), but it's also hepled to bring us much closer.
2006-11-28 12:53:09 · answer #4 · answered by ashley5051 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not everyone plan to have baby sometimes it just happen. Anyway it's your baby, you and your husband create it. How could you resent the baby?? In my country there are many poor people with alot of children but still they take care of their children, can't you do the same. Next time use protection if really doesn't wan anymore child. At least give the child up for adoption give it a chance to live.
2006-11-28 16:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by unfortunate gal 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel your desperation as I myself was in a similar situation approx. 20 yrs. ago. I was married 2 kids and my husband at the time said he would go through it with me, but when it came down to it he really didn't want me to have another child and he wasn't a good father to the two we had. I was feeling mentally unable to handle more as I worked FT and was raising kids on my own. Unfortunately at that time I chose abortion and I don't feel bad that I did I felt it was my sanity at stake. I am not in any was advocating this it is wrong in the eyes of God and I didn't intentionally plan this to happen. I had to repent later on and I don't even know now as a Christian I can honestly say I would do it the same. You need to first confirm your preg., if positive talk to your husband and then question why you don't welcome the pregnancy. My daughter has 3 child out of wed-lock and when #3 came wanted to abort, but our churches first-lady and I talked with her and now I am sure she is glad she didn't and the father is very helpful and there are rocky hard days for her, but it all falls into place when God is involved. If you and your husband attend church talk to your pastor and you might be surprised the support you will get. Good luck and I will be praying for you and your family.
2006-11-28 12:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by sissytwo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess you really need to talk to your husband, talk about your fears etc and get him to tell you how he feels too. Then you can both sit down together and do the test at least you will not be alone and if you are pregnant then you will already have a decision pre discussed. If your not pregnant then you or your husband might want to look at permenant contraception if your def sure you want no other children/accidents happening. Just so you know though abortion is not good if you are not entirely sure of your decision as it can have long term effects on how you feel/operate and can never be reversed, it doesnt effect some women at all they just see it as problem solved!
Good luck xx
2006-11-28 12:25:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband. If you cannot deal with another child, adoption would be a good option for you. Do what YOU think is the best thing for your family and don't let anyone make you feel bad. You aren't being selfish, you are being realistic and honest with yourself. Wait until you are sure you are pregnant then go over your options. Good Luck.
2006-11-28 12:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are probably feeling overwhelmed. talk to your husband, see how he feels about it.. or the "possability" of another child. you have 3 options, keep it, give it up for adoption and of course termination. So many babies are unplanned, but somehow we make due. Check into preschool or a daycare that your oldest can attend for a couple days a week to give you a "break". Maybe after you can breath and clear your mind a little you can make a decision.
Blessings.
2006-11-28 12:20:01 · answer #9 · answered by grapelady911 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All three of my children were unplanned and I was devastated. But as my pregnancy progressed, I fell in love with my babies. If you really dont want any more kids, look inot getting an IUD. I have one and it is the only birth control method that has worked for me. It is much safer than it used to be and it lasts for five years. Dont worry it will all work out. Good luck.
2006-11-28 13:22:54 · answer #10 · answered by Aj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋