my future husband just told me thaat he doesnt tink he can grow in my church and that he wants to find a church that best suits him. i grew up in my church and i dont want to leave. cuz it helps me!!! i dont want us to be married going to differnt churches..and then we have children and my chuld says "what do u want me to wear to church mommy" and then me going" well you going to daddy;s church this sunday baby so wat do u tihnk u should wear." we both christians and tru we both serve the same god but its like not onrmal. unnatural. not at all wat i pictured. AND then just wat if i try to be with him in his church but his church doesnt furfill me spiritually. wat do i do.I deserve to be somewhere where i feel comforatable same with him.....you guys help m..and dont patronize me ou can see that im trying to look at it from both angles!!!
2006-11-28 12:10:34 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband and I are in the same situation. We just decided to accept each other for who we are and not try to convert each other. We have different beliefs and ideas, but as long as we respect one another, we are fine.
You could let the kids go to both churches and when they are older, they can decide where they are most comfortable.
2006-11-28 12:39:44 · answer #1 · answered by Lady J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does not have a church now? If not, it may take him a while to find the one that's right for him as well as you. Nothing wrong with visiting other churches which you can ask your Pastor for help in locating one.
But because he does not have a church at this moment, I am not sure that he is serious about church or finding one. Did he start wanting to go to church because of you or because you asked him.
Best to step back a little a watch him take on this project by himself to see if he is serious about locating a church. However, you continue going to your church without him.
This will be difficult but "step back" and see if he is serious, if not, you may have to speak with your pastor on this because I have seen people get married where one goes to church and the other does not which can make for a unhealthy relationship in the future. Best of luck.
2006-11-28 12:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, I went through this and it cost me my marriage. But there is hope & I'll get to it in a sec ;) My hus. was mormon (LDS) which i do not believe in and he knew before we got married & promised me he accepted me as I was. Changed his mind 6 mos. later. When we got married, he was fired from his job because he married me. (He was employed by another Mormon). Also his parents forbade me from ever coming to their house. It was horrible. We didn't even last a year. However, there is good news - mine was a particularly extreme case but yours may not be. It is perfectly normal and healthy for two people to find religious growth and guidance in two different churches. Some people are very uncomfortable with some styles of worship and they NEED a different path to help them increase & maintain their spirituality. You may not like the kind of church he goes to but that's ok! My neighbors are wonderful & happily married people & the wife goes to her church on Sundays and her Hus. goes to his church on Sundays. They've been together over 25 years and have three grown kids and are one of the happiest (really) families I've ever seen. It is important for you to realize that his religious preference is important too. If you can't find a place to worship together, look more or if you don't wat to go somewhere else stay where you are now & are happy and let him go where he needs. Good luck!
2006-11-28 12:20:59 · answer #3 · answered by Elle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither of you have to stick to one church. Why not both of you try to work together to see the best side of each of the churches?
Tell him that you will give his a chance and ask him to give yours a few more trys. You can alternate you know. Don't forget.... they are both being run by the same person!
2006-11-28 12:15:43 · answer #4 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband and i have the same problem, he's mormon and im catholic, he went to church all the time and i didnt but im not really into the MORMON thing! And i really dont want our children going to that church so we just stopped going to church period. I tried going to his church but those missionaries always wanted to come to my house and give me classes, I couldnt even go run erands cause they were always here thats when i said enough is enough. thats why we dont go to church. Later when our kids are alittle older we decided to let them chose what they believe in.
2006-11-28 14:29:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have to go to the same church married people go to different churches all the time. As long as you to serve the same God then it's fine. I know several married couples who don't go to the same church and they are happily married
2006-11-28 12:55:35 · answer #6 · answered by mom of 2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does your church believe that the man is the spiritual leader of the family..??..either way you guys should be willing to work on a compromise....
2006-11-28 12:14:29 · answer #7 · answered by Ed O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would try talking to him and then asking him which churches he likes
2006-11-28 12:13:25 · answer #8 · answered by winkts@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋