This guy has cheated on her before(many times) and he has no real job and, quite frankly, no real future. Nobody in my immediate family can stand him and I have told her how big of a mistake it is. They want me to be in the wedding but I don't want to. I do however, know that I should be supportive of her and I want to be, but this decision could change her life forever and if she had a kid would also change their life as well. What should I do?
2006-11-28 12:08:31 · 13 answers · asked by turtledove3434 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My friend - In the long run, this decision has to be made by your sister. I expect she knows others have doubts and questions. Maybe she needs some support for her decision and some understanding about possibly why she has chosen this man and why she loves him. Sometimes we reach a point where we have to say "I do not agree with your decision, but I love you and will stand by you no matter what". GBU
2006-11-28 12:13:43 · answer #1 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have to make their own mistakes and no matter what you say to your sister it will not change her mind. The thing is you know what is going to happen and your sister is going to need support in the future. If it was me I would be part of the wedding if it meant that much to my sister. I would also tell her that I will be there for her no matter what. I believe family should stick with each other no matter what. If in the future she is unhappy with this guy it is her mistake to make and hopefully she will learn from it.
2006-11-28 20:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by saliberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your values. If you really don't want to be in the wedding, tell your sister that you love her very much and that's the reason that you cannot stand next to her when she makes, quite possibly, the biggest mistake of her life.
Just let her know that you'll always be there for her.
2006-11-28 20:11:46 · answer #3 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have done all you can. It is her decision. I would tell her that you love her and want only the best. BUT, because you believe in your heart that this guy is bad for her and will only cheat again (which he will) and hurt her, you cannot in good conscience be in her wedding. You will support her, but not be a participant in what will be a bad decision.
2006-11-28 20:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by foxfire 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Her life....her problems in the future. Its not up to you to offer an opinion...unless it's solicited by her from you. Then it's fair game. If she gets angry with your honest and up front answer tough sh*t....she asked.
However when everything goes to sh*t in the marriage...and you know it will...never say "I told you so". No matter how much it may gall you. On the other hand let her be responsible for kicking him out, paying for her divorce, etc. Unless shes being physically abused...let her stay where she is and work it out. Wanna act like an adult? Then you deal with any consequences as well.
2006-11-28 20:14:21 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She knows you don't like him. It's going to happen anyway so be supportive and go to the wedding. Then pick up the pieces after the traincrash.
2006-11-28 20:13:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be supportive of her, hopefully in time she will realize that it is a big mistake, another thing that is probably making her closer to him is because so many people are against him.
2006-11-28 20:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you can't stand the guy, she is still your sister. My daughter is with a loser and I can't stand him either but god forbid she ever decided to marry the idiot, I would have to support her and be there, I think I would regret it later. You would probably regret not being there for her, remember its for her not him. Good luck I regretfully understand....
2006-11-28 20:15:04 · answer #8 · answered by Debcee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be wishy washy, either support her or don't. Either you agree with the marriage or you don't and if you don't, don't be in the wedding. Unfortunately, it will be about 2 years (if that) before she realizes her mistake and gets divorced.
2006-11-28 20:11:09 · answer #9 · answered by Say it like it is 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her how u feel and tell her u want no part in her committing herself to be unhappy for the rest of her marriage. and no consider someone else to take ur place in the wedding. but some ppl do change, its just hard to trust them after all that
2006-11-28 20:15:43 · answer #10 · answered by kimmi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋