what wold you do if your family did not admit abuse. what should they have done. how to go about it. what would be the risks of not done. what would you say and feel. what if you asked other family members to acknowledge this and they did not.
2006-11-28 11:37:50 · 5 answers · asked by 070sx 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Go your own way because it shows they don't care about you.
Coach
2006-11-28 11:45:03 · answer #1 · answered by Thanks for the Yahoo Jacket 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. I had a father who left before I was born. Then a succession of four stepfather's and, at least, one fiance that died before he married my mom!
There is a strong possibility that I was sexually abused by my first stepfather. I also had an ex brother-in-law who tried to get me to kiss him. I was sexually battered as well. All of this before I was 15!
I asked my mom about the stepdad thing and she said she didn't know anything about it(I was 29 @ the time). The subject came up in therape. When I was asked why I didn't persue it. I answered "I barely remember it, why do I want to cause more pain over what could amount to be fantasy?".
Ignorance and fear is often the real reason for nonadmittance. My mom did the best she could. If it was real....she would have needed proof, then where would we be. The stigma would have been too great for us as a family. It would not have made a difference as to my innocence. He was a respected prison guard. We were poor and there was 5 kids in all. My mom had only a ninth grade education. Not to mention the era in which this had happened.
I confronted my step father years after he went to grave! I let my mother go in peace to her grave. I will seek counciling when needed, but, so much is repressed or not really there.
I have spoken with my sisters. We came to the conclusion that there may have been lines crossed.
Have I gotten acknowledgement? No. Do I really need it. No. It will not change one thing in my life. I already know that I am far better off now and I don't need the truth of that situation to confirm who I am.
The bigger question is do you need that answer? Will knowing the truth going to do any good around you? Will it only benifit you? Will it be worth it?
Look long and hard within yourself. Use your faith to help you. Seek good councel and therape if need be.
Please forgive the spelling--spell check is malfunctioning.
2006-11-28 20:25:11 · answer #2 · answered by believer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. I am an adult survivor of some serious child abuse and neglect. I have forgiven my mother who is emotionally ill - - it took me a lot of years to be able to do that.
I used to want my siblings to admit that mom was an abuser, they will not do it. My mom has painted a story where she was victimized by my father (who has been dead for many years) and by her children. She was forced to beat us or publicly humiliate us.
My take is that she was an awful abuser, but now that I am an adult, It is my choice not to accept it. She is forgiven and so are my siblings whom she controls with guilt. This forgiveness has freed me so that I can be my own person, good or bad.
I have no idea if this helps you, at least I hope it does. It sucks being a hapless child subject to abuse by the people who are supposed to love you
2006-11-28 19:54:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know the truth and the denial is their problem. You also don't go around them very often, especially if it was sexual abuse and you have children. Best wishes.
2006-11-28 19:48:17 · answer #4 · answered by tantiemeg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deal with the healing of self, they can choose denial. you need to seek out the truth and get professional healing. Only you can live your life.Personal responsiblity. All my best to you on your healing journey !
2006-11-28 19:45:05 · answer #5 · answered by iamonetruth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋