are totally amazed by your partner end after some period of time? If so, how long did that initial crazy infatuation where you can't get enough of each other last?
2006-11-28 11:20:28 · 12 answers · asked by pamgissa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We were married in 1979, but I started feeling that way about her sometime in mid to late 1976; it took me till 1978 or so before I finally recognized it and acted on it.
I still feel that way at the end of 2006.
I mean, barring infrequent business travel and the occasional hospital trip, I go to sleep and wake up every night with this woman, and I STILL wish I could spend more time with her. (Well, to be fair, I mostly wish we could spend more time AWAKE together. :-) Sometimes when I wake in the middle of the night, I can't fall asleep because I'm too caught up in how wonderful it is to lie there in the darkness, the smooth warmth of her back curling up against my stomach, her little feet nestled between my calves as I tuck the covers around her shoulders. (She plays footsie with me in her sleep. It's the sweetest thing I can imagine.)
We've been through a LOT of changes since the late Seventies. For one thing, that weird brownish discoloration our hair used to have seems to be clearing up, and the hair is coming out in a sort of clear, silvery color in spots. (Ahem. :-) And we've got three kids who keep getting bigger, or in the case of the oldest ones, more independent and mature (daughter #1 is 19, in college, and has become a really interesting and enjoyable adult in the past year or so).
Which means the feeling of being totally amazed by this woman has changed its direction over time, but not its intensity. That is, for the first year or so we were a couple, I was amazed that this woman whom I'd liked so much as a friend for so many years was so incredibly sexy when we started relating to each other that way -- amazed that the closeness we'd always had just hanging out as two of a group of six or eight college pals turned into unbelievable intimacy and trust when we became intimate -- and amazed that, for the first time in either of our sexual lives, we'd found somebody whose limits and abilities were as off-the-chart incredible as our own.
Now, thirty years on, I'm still amazed by her, but it's been enriched by decades of trust, of shared efforts and hardships, of setting and reaching goals, and of unified commitment to ourselves, to each other, and to our children. I'm amazed by her tenacity, and by her compassion for me in the face of all we've been through (and all the stupid crap I've done). And finally, I'm amazed at her ability to understand and acknowledge that her own biological drive has waned, but that mine hasn't, and at her willingness to forge a compromise that isn't merely endurable, but that is exceptional for both of us. (All I'll say about that is that among other things, this woman gets all the backrubs and footrubs she wants. :-)
The thing is... we both have a very different relationship to the word "commitment" than most people seem to have. Most people we hear use "commitment" as something either to be shunned or, at best, to complain about. For us, our commitment is the source of our power, our ability to transform our lives moment by moment, day by day. Being committed to living an extraordinary life with this woman gives me the drive, the energy, the sheer electric force of will to create new ways of being with her; her commitment to the same thing gives her the ability to look at things differently, see into corners that we had missed, and come up with new ideas and new possibilities.
That's who we are. That's what we live for.
2006-11-28 11:58:41 · answer #1 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my now fiancee for 12 years. The first couple of years were great and I thought how did I get so lucky, then we went through some rough patches that never seemed to end. I can say though that I still get butterflys at the thought of seeing him. We have kept our love life exciting through the 12 years so alot of times it still feels like a honeymoon. We don't always see eye to eye and alot of times he drives me crazy but we also make sure at least once a week we go for a date. It doesn't have to be expensive or anything just something where we are away from the house together and doing something together.
2006-11-28 19:36:11 · answer #2 · answered by saliberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been 18 yrs. It ended slowly and gradually. Now, we are comfortable and get a little creative to keep it interesting and getting older together has it's advantages. We both have issues we didn't have before but, we can talk about them because we are truly friends and partners. So, the Honeymoon phase slows down and other things take over, children...I had two already. Our 2nd marriage each.Then life and parents and health issues. You have to be realistic and know that that doesn't last but, you have times when it is still there it's just harder to find sometimes and you have to work at it and make it a priority at times. So, I always advise being patient, open, loving and honest. Then work at it. It takes both of you to make it work. Good luck.
2006-11-28 19:43:58 · answer #3 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was just married 6 months ago yesterday, and I still feel like a newlywed is some ways. It's kind of strange but not unusual for us, as we had been romantically involved and living together as a couple for two years prior to our marriage and before that we were roommates and good friends for several years! We've always been good buds but I have to say the "crazy infatuation" phase ended a few years ago. I still get excited when he should be on his way home (like right now!) and we enjoy spending lots of time together doing things that newlyweds do!
2006-11-28 19:35:23 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberly H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes the romance has dwindled some. There's a saying that goes something like this: In the beginning your love is like a great roaring fire. (It starts with a spark between two people) Once the fire goes out the embers burn for a long time and that is the hottest part of the fire. Love after many years is like the embers of a fire. (The fire goes out but the embers burn for a long time
It goes something like that. Maybe someone here will know what I'm talking about and will put the right words.
2006-11-28 19:49:32 · answer #5 · answered by cranky_gut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somewhere in Reader's Digest I read that romantic love only lasts 18 months. In all actuality though, it just depends. I think love can last a lifetime for some, and others just can't seem to get that "I want you right here right now" feeling anymore. Regardless, every marriage takes effort, head-over-heels love or not, to make work.
2006-11-28 19:34:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this varies couple to couple and a lot depends on youth and the type of people that you are. I was older and the honeymoon lasted about a year for me.
2006-11-28 19:25:27 · answer #7 · answered by whitneysmother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children ruin romances. Pregnant woman are moody. Children and pregnancy make marriages harder to deal with. Women who have babies lose their sex drive for awhile. Children get in the way of sex. Children are annoying unless they are someone elses and they'll be going home soon. Say NO to children. Say YES to sterilisation.
2006-11-28 19:33:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It lasted for about 2 years until we had our first child.
2006-11-28 19:25:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I were engaged for 6 years we just tied the knot this past September 06 and I am still ga-ga for him and the romance is still strong!!!
You make your relationship what you want it to be!
2006-11-28 19:43:16 · answer #10 · answered by Dee U 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋