what happens when a non custodial parent refuses visitaiton?

Question

My kids biological mother requested to the attorneys a supervised visitation for the christmas holiday. There's a whole lot of drama behind this case... but in the end, she does need to have supervised visitaiton for the children's safety. Anway- research was done by our attorney to find the best & inexpensive provider for visitations. She has not seen the kids in 2 months, and barely has talked to the kids this year. She lives in another state as well... so that is a reason why she has not seen them. The kids live with me and my husband (their father). So far she has been uninvolved since 2000. Now that she requested a supervised visitaion- we allowed it, now she is backing out. WHY? The kids were excited to see her, and now she backed out. How will this affect our case for when we go to court?

Answer 1

Obviously she will not win her kids back in the courts. Secondly you are a wonderful woman because you are this concerned for your step kids unless you want her to come take them away and only be you and the father. But lets not assume that. She is either trying to punish you as the new wife with her kids responsibility, or she is so torn by the whole situation, she is just wanting to forget that life and move on as if she never had married or had kids. Does she pay child support for these kids while she is out doing what she wants? Best thing for you to do as a step mother is never let these kids know the truth about their mother, because then they will hate you for saying such things. She is still thier mother and they will never forget how much they love her. Just be good to them as if they are your own, and they will see someday that you were the real mother to them because you have been there!

Answer 2

She probably came to her senses and realizes what this will do to the children so shes backing out or it could very well be for financial reasons or alot of other reasons. She does have this right to do so for no reason at all if she chooses. Its a sad thing to do to the kids but adults are adults. Since you may never really know why she does what she does, this will really not have any real effect on your court case considering she might have a good excuse for not showing if the judge asks. Now if she came up with a criminal intent if she did show, then it would definitely affect your case but in reality she would never admit anything like that. Just keep her on supervised visits only as she sounds like shes not all there. Good luck

Answer 3

I'm guessing that she requested visitation because of the court hearing coming up but then backed out when she realized that she couldn't handle going through the all the steps that she would need to in order to get the visit. She does not sound like a very strong person. She sounds like someone who gives up easily when adversity comes her way.

As for her children, what is most important as a parent is to teach them how to deal with their feelings. You cannot keep them from feeling hurt. They get hurt on the playground, in school, or by other children in the neighborhood. Help them through their disappointment by reminding them of their father's love for them and your love for them. Do not put their mother down but do let them know that she loves them the best that she knows. She just doesn't know how to love them the way that they need to be loved. Make sure that you remind them that it is not their fault and in no way was it something that they did.

Answer 4

Y would it go to court? The maternal mother has visitation rights allowed by law, that she is not exercising. How can this be a court issue? If she were contemplating or attempting full, or joint custody, first she'd have to demonstrate to the court that she has made progress in her inabilties that has adversely affected the children, but even in that case, most judges will not "bounce" children in that way. At most they will attempt to balance them between parents. In you all's case I cannot see even this happening, at best it may just be unsupervised visitation. I would actually attempt to sever the maternal parents rights altogether at this point, this way you will never have to contemplate GHOST MOM showing up. Good luck!

Answer 5

No, he has no leg to face on. you probably did the to blame parental ingredient and enable your figure's babysit for you at the same time as receiving a nessesary clinical remedy...letting her stay in one day in certain cases at her grandparents' abode reguardless of the reason, on your parental time is none of his agency...the very actuality you had a reputable reason even better so... The Courts will be sure in the youngster's best pastimes...having high quality time which include her grandparents can in straight forward words boost her existence....IMO less than those circumstances it really is evidence to the Courts that you're not from now on in straight forward words a to blame figure yet you're making judgements depending on the finest interest of your baby....it isn't in besides structure or kind a demonstration that you're undeserving. because you've been able to artwork and take care of her inspite of the most cancers remedy, no accessible say that the ailment rendered you undeserving as a figure. If he tries to assert that your ailment renders you undeserving, then ALL mom and father who're dealing with ANY style of ailment are undeserving and that is nonsense. If he is going with the help of with this BS, insist that a criminal dad or mum be appointed on your daughter..it really is THEIR evaluation of the project that weighs heavy with the courtroom, no longer your ex's rediculous say so......... ..and your ex might want to might want to proove to the delight of the courtroom that you're an undeserving figure-aint gonna ensue. sounds like he's attempting to save your daughter remote from her grandparents..if he won't be able to supply a sturdy sufficient reason, the Courts received't evaluate his request truly he purely might want to tick off the choose....those judges can smell BS a mile away, they recognize at the same time as a figure is bringing an action to them out of genuine issue...and at the same time as they're playing video games/ being revengeful...do not worry and sturdy success.

Answer 6

Why r you going to court.....it won't affect your case it will strengthen it...she upset the kids. She hasn't seen them for years and now didn't want to after asking to??

In future don't tell the kids until it's going to happen leave them out of the loop so you don't hurt them.

Answer 7

I feel for the kids. The biological mother sounds like a real loser.

Answer 8

I think you shouldn't be worrying about your court case but about the kids and there feelings...

Answer 9

First of all, you state these kids as "MY kids", they are not YOUR KIDS, they are your husbands kids with his former mate. As such, you really have no standing other than being the fathers wife. I commend you though for taking on the responsibility of someone else's children, but please, don't think you will ever replace their Mother. Even if she is a bad one, she is still their Mother. The best thing you can do, is pretty much what you have done, asking for and getting a supervised visitation is wise when there are concerns for a Mother who hasn't shown much interest until now. Personally, I would think if the visits were to be supervised, she should be the one to pay for them, since she is the one wanting the visit. If its a money issue and the father is willing to pay, well fine. As to the kids, you have learned what I already know, telling children about visits before hand is unwise, until sure that they are going to happen. As a Foster Parent, I went to classes for these very topics and we were instructed to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING prior to visits, a childs behaviour and after a visit. Children tend to go a little out there after a visit with non custodial parents, in an effort to try and act out their feelings. It makes for some very unhappy children, but if a relationship is to be restored, it must be done. You, as a loving step parent can do your best to encourage them to have happy visit (when they occur) to foster good feelings with the Mother (their feeling about their Mother will be reflected in them, in other words, if they love and crave their Mother, discussing her in unflattering terms will make them feel badly about themselves and you. Don't fall into that trap. We have been encouraged to make it what they call "natural consequences", meaning if the Mother is supposed to go for counseling in order to have a visit, we don't HIDE that, but we don't say "your Mom doesn't love you enough to go to counseling". We don't candy coat their failures as parents, never ever rub it in. It is what it is. Try to restrict the information of her coming for a visit, until it is imminent and going to happen. We are encouraged to go to the visitations and sit with the child in a nuetral room with the child till the parent shows. When the parent arrives, we leave so they may visit and not insert ourselves in any way (even if we want to, we aren't allowed to, unless that parent invites us). This is hard sometimes, cause you do feel attached to the child. If the parent doesn't show, we don't launch into a tirade about what a loser she is, how could she and so on. No, we quietly say "I am sorry your Mom didn't come today" and we go on about our day. We can't make the Mom come, the kid knows that the Mom didn't show, knows we knew to be there, and so on. Eventually the child knows EXACTLY what the deal is, we don't have to do or say anything to show we know either (it typically hurts them more than it helps) other than to console them and ask how they feel about it. The days after are the hardest as the child comes to their own realizations that their Mom is what she is, not coming and not trying to see them. Thats life and thats the truth. Putting yourself in the middle will only make you the lightening rod "my Mom didn't come cause you HATE her" and so on. Sad but true! As to your case in court, document ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. If you have the Moms' email, send email confirming her visits, preferably from the Father, she's under no obligation to respond to you, you have no standing YET! Like "Just to be sure we are all on the same page, I am sending this to confirm your visit for December 10, 2006 at 2 pm with the child (insert names) at the Counseling Center at 123 Main Street Atlanta Ga. Please reply by email, snail mail, calling this # blah blah blah by 12/1/06 5pm that you will be there. I would ask for it in her writing, ask her to fax it or snail mail it with her signature, because I think it would help for a judge to see, she read it, understood it and failed to attend. Makes a bigger impact. A judge will hardly be sympathetic with detailed times, dates and place that she couldn't find it, didn't know where it was at, what day and so on. Cry cry cry all you want but you signed saying you planned on attending. I think its nice the kids have someone to stand in as their Mother and go through all this drama for them, just stand tough and do what you have to do, but tread carefully, these are NOT your children and any idea that you may be trying to sabatoage their relationship with their Mom will blow up in your face. Also, I see in your questions, you asked this question and several others several times, are you just looking for an answer you like? And a Mother who isn't paying child support won't get much sympathy from a judge these days and one who has had even more children will gather even less. Let the Mother's record speak for itself. Also, 2 months isn't THAT long of a time for a visit from another state. 2 years, YES! But 2 months, no. Good luck my dear and you have my sympathies and encouragement to hang in there!