Im in college and have been for 2 years. Ive never been able to make decisions for myself. I have parents who think I shouldnt grow up. The Pregnancy wasnt planned but my fiance and I dont see it as a total horrible situation. How do I go about dealing with my family. I know I need to be responsible enough to tell them but Im not sure I can handle the resentment.
2006-11-28 10:49:12 · 16 answers · asked by Young_Mom2B 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I have my own place and a very good job. I sell real estate but still yet they are going to tell me Im not capable.
2006-11-29 03:40:23 · update #1
i got prego at 19. talk to your mom, maybe she will be more understanding. asure her that baby daddy will be there, and tell her what you are planning to do (get married, stay in school, move out...etc.) maybe she can help you when talking to your father. or if you have an older sibbling that you are close to talk to him/her, maybe they can help you when you talk to them. best of luck!
2006-11-28 10:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by diana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, I too am 19 and expecting a baby. My husband is 21. We got pregnant right before our wedding in August. We hadn't planned on having kids for at least a year as we are both finishing school up this year and wanted to buy a house and all that jazz first. The main thing to realize is that things don't always go as we plan, and that's ok. I would find a special way to tell him because a baby is a special blessing! I'm sure he will be none other than thrilled; albeit, it may take a little bit of adjusting to on both your parts. Congratulations on your baby and I hope all goes well with telling your boyfriend. If anyone treats you badly because you are young and are pregnant, I would try not to worry about them. The most important thing is you and your baby right now. Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent. 19/20 is not that young actually for having kids, It is just within the last 50 years that the average age for having kids has gone up from 18-22 to probably around 24-30 currently. This change has occured mostly because women are looking to build careers more so and putting having a family off until later. There's nothing wrong with that, and there's also nothing wrong with having children when you are younger. I know you'll be a great mom, you already sound so dedicated to your child, and that's what truly matters. Don't be ashamed of your news, this is something good! You two were blessed with a baby just a little sooner than you expected. Best wishes with your pregnancy and telling your boyfriend:)
2016-05-22 23:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just found out that m 19 year old daughter, a college student, is pregnant. She had been with her b.f. for 3 years. She was terrified to tell me, but I was totally supportive and much more concerned about her own feelings of loss, change, and acceptance. Your parents will be shocked, weren't you? In a short time, though, acceptance will sink in, and then the opportunity to make plans, get good information, and decide your next step will occur. You don't want your parents out of your life, or you would not be so concerned. Allow them to step up and show you they care. Best wishes, you can do it!
2006-11-30 23:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by kay c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to bring your fiance over with you and be honest with your parents. Tell them that you are pregnant and what your plans are. I got pregnant at 21 and the baby's father was gone in a heart beat. I had to tell my parents on my own. While it was hard it was what I had to do. My mom was mad and so was my dad, but after the shock wore off there were a lot more supportive than I thought that were going to be. They might just surprise you. Good Luck!!
2006-11-28 10:59:02 · answer #4 · answered by ribbitt_ribbitt_83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 19 and need to assert that you are an adult now and need to start making the decisions for yourself.
You don't have to allow them to do it for you. You have the right to either take theirs or do it the way you think is best.
To have a fiance, I don't think they are that "controlling" over your life. However, you two decided to get pregnant and most likely, it seems you are going to keep this baby.
I would recommend starting to have your own place, save for this upcoming blessing and start planning to become independant in life decisions.
You have no choice but to discuss this with them. You want to be an adult, but afriad of taking the inititive of doing what an adult has to do.
"Mom, dad, my fiane and I would like to announce we are expecting and happily wanted those who we love dearly to know first". Make it a positive enforcement that you and him have happily accepted it and even ask for some involvement in advice or story telling "Can you give me some insight on what doctors you seen and what is the best classes or books you recommend". Focus on the fact you are welcoming their opinion, but leaving the decision up to you as the final say.
2006-11-28 11:00:12 · answer #5 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might be best to have your fiance there. just try to keep your parents calm after you tell them and say "The fact is I'm pregnant and since we cant change that cant you please just support me instead of loosing your cool?"
it would probably help if you got a job. not only is it going to support you and the baby but it will show your parents that you're responsible. if you already have a job, try working a couple extra hours or something at least while you still can.
Good Luck to you and the Baby,
Cayleen
2006-11-28 10:58:15 · answer #6 · answered by Cayleen O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult now and if you plan on keeping this baby, it is time you start acting like one and start making your own decisions. This is your body and your baby. Your family can only control your life and its destiny as long as YOU allow them to. If they turn their back on you during this time in your life, they aren't much of a family and you are better off without them. Congrats and good luck honey.
2006-11-28 10:54:38 · answer #7 · answered by PisceKween 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you are a bit too young to have a child in the first place. You're in college and without a stable career. You need to just sit down and tell them in a completely serious manner. They will notice as the baby develops so it's better now and not later as a complete supprise.
2006-11-28 10:52:47 · answer #8 · answered by Wat L 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you'll have to tell them. You say your fiance is there a chance that you can get married before telling them? It sounds like you come from a family with good old fashioned morals.
2006-11-28 10:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was your age and pregnant also. When I told my family, I was surprised. They knew before I did. Lol. You are 19 now, and you can make your own decisions. But please do tell them. They may surprise you too. I was at first, scared to tell them. They were really happy when my daughter was born. But please stay in college. You can do this. I know alot of young people that have. Congradulations!
2006-11-28 10:58:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are pregnant with your fiance, you are 19, and you are in college. You are completely qualified to be pregnant! Your parents are being completely irrational! I don't know how you should deal with them, but you are completely right in this situation.
2006-11-28 11:02:08 · answer #11 · answered by Answer Queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋