ive been dating my girl for about 4 years,we have a daughter togeather and she is a good mom,but ive always been raised to take care of my self,ive had a drug problem in the past,and i drank alot,these last 3 months ive gotten back into the same thing.she has put up with alot from me,i take off for days and she still takes me backi know it hurts her but i cant help it when i drink i dont want to go home because im afraid she will think im dumb,she dont drink she is pretty straite,i like to hang out with my friends and she has no problem with it if i go out on saterdays as long as i come home sunday.she said she is feeling alone i try to spend time with her i dont take her places because im always tied.but i do sit home with her and watch tv she said thats not spending time,i think it is.she said she needs to feel loved i tell her i do love her what more can i do.i know im selfish and i dont show her attention but how can i when alll she does is complain that im selfish???
2006-11-28 10:35:10 · 9 answers · asked by joannluna1974 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you are pretty selfish, i must say. let's pretend you're her and she's you, she's out drinking and doing whatever she wants, while you're at home all day long taking care of your daughter and worrying like mad? wouldn't you be kinda pissed too?
she's a human, you know? think about her too. her bf's drinking like hell outside not taking any responsibilities at all. raising a daughter all by herslf and she still has to worry about you. if you know that all you can take care of is yourself? you're a father now, will you act like one? gees, how can you have a daughter when you're still like an immature boy yourself? and then giving all this extra work to your gf? no wonder she's mad. and the answer to your question is YES! do you even need to ask?
telling her you love her is one thing but if thats it and you always cause her extra trouble, then of course the 3 words will start to lose its power. she's a woman. when she's tired, she needs a shoulder to lean her head on. when she feels lonely, she needs gentle yet strong arms to hug her and tell her you'll be by her side forever. when she needs comfort, she wants you to be by her side to comfort her. when she's about to fall, you should be there to catch her and help her stand back up. no matter how strong a woman is, there's a weak side to her. she needs to feel loved and cared for. these are ways to show her you love her. on the weekends, take her out to eat or stay at home and cook for her. let her rest for a while. then take her out to the movies or shopping. after dinner, take a stroll down the park. surprise her with her favorite flowers and chocolates or something that she likes every once in a while. let her go out with her friends while you stay at home taking care of your daughter and cleaning the house. it serously won't cost you that much but it'll make her realize that you do care about her.
i recommend you first try to stop your addiction for alcohol. i'm not saying at once, little by little. if you want to show her you love her, start by stop drinking. its bad for your own body too.
i hope these suggestions help. before she really loses faith in you and leaves you, win her back!
2006-11-28 10:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by Meteor Ice 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should go to counseling. It sounds like you might be afraid to grow up or maybe you are an addict. Both these things you can overcome with help.
Sounds like you have a good lady there. You should really get
some help because she is not going to just stick around forever.
One day you are going to come home & her & your daughter are going to be gone. Unfortunately, if this happens you wont be seeing alot of your daughter.
Bottom line.......what is more important to you??
To have a kind, caring, loving woman and daughter or to have
the drugs & alcohol & a bunch of "friends" that probably wont accept you once you put your family first?? You know real friends would accept and appreciate you for growing up and putting your family first.
These friends accept you for who you are now. They give you permission to be selfish. I bet they are alot like you. You need friends that are going to help you move up the ladder not down into the ditch.
Misery loves company.
2006-11-28 10:46:04 · answer #2 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it does sound like you are being pretty selfish. You say that you love her and want to be with her, but you want to go out and act single too. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Think about if the situation were reversed. How would you feel if you were taking care of your daughter, and sitting at home worrying about your girlfriend while she was out drinking, doing drugs, and staying gone for days at a time? What if she wanted to go out and act single and then come home to you whenever she felt like it because she knew that you would take her back no matter what. You would probably feel like you are being taken advantage of.
I can't tell you that you are a bad boyfriend, but I think that you really need to talk to her about this... and if you really want to keep your relationship, then you need to reevaluate how you are acting.
2006-11-28 10:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by Nik 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would have to depend on the person. Some people are perfectly fine with boyfriends who sit on the couch all day. I would say a bad boyfriend is someone who makes you feel bad about yourself, or doesnt show you respect. I mean respect in a broad sense though. It can be as little as making sure you feel special, or not checking out other girls in front of you. A good boyfriend should make you want to be a better person. Hope that helps!
2016-05-22 23:28:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion your not being selfish. Dishonest is the word for it, dishonest with your self. You two are just too different, you need to really think about what you want out of life and a partner. You know you can still be a terriffic dad to your dauther even though your not with her Mom!! Think about it!
2006-11-28 11:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by sleepingangel1917 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I am sorry. But as one person pointed out already...you have a great girl, and you are very lucky....too lucky to have her.
You should be more appreciative of what you have and spend 'time' with her not moments, but time. Take her and your daughter to the movies, go to the park, take the kid to grandmas and spend 'alone time' with your girl.
Try something romantice, stay home for a weekend just being with her and only her.
When your women says to 'spend time with me', they mean show them attention, do something for her that you wouldn't normally do.
But most of all, always express and always show your love for her...always.
You are soo lucky to have her!! Don't waste it away!!
2006-11-28 10:45:51 · answer #6 · answered by Tiff 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you gotta good girl.. you better get your act together because a woman will only take so much before they walk. Try counceling.
2006-11-28 10:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is it all about you? Clean up your act, get yourself into AA and be a decent father!
2006-11-28 10:43:49 · answer #8 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are a bad boyfriend. Go spank yourself!
2006-11-28 10:52:45 · answer #9 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋