My 12-year-old daughter's friend told a secret about a boy?

Question

My daughter came home from school today, crying because one of her best friends told a secret to another girl. I don't know the details but I do know it's about a boy. I'm guessing my daughter told her friend who she likes and that friend blabbed. Now my daughter is upset because her friend betrayed her secret and she has to deal with the fact that everybody will know who she likes when she goes to school tomorrow. (I'm not sure if that will really happen, but that's what she thinks)

Any advice for me or for her?

Answer 1

You as the mom should comfort your daughter and let her know that people are always going to talk. She shouldn't worry about what people think or say about her. Tell her to be the bigger person and don't sweat the small stuff. School her on how "friends" can be. Show her how to find a true friend. Also, some things need to be kept to yourself. Help her understand that but, be gentle because she is hurting right now. Soothe her and help her be ready for school tomorrow. Help her to raise her self esteem for future situations. me personally I think she should go up to the boy that she likes and just tell him I just wanted to tell you something face to face since I have an untrustworthy friend, I like you. Just walk away and leave it at that. If he's interested he will find a way to talk to her. If he doesn't know that she likes him how will he ever know? He might like her too and just not know how to tell her. You never know!!!!! Good Luck!! I am a parent so I know where you are coming from.

Answer 2

You have to explain to her that these things happen, and that in the future, she might be a bit picker about who she shares her secrets with. Maybe she can learn from this and realise that if a friend tells HER a secret, she should keep it in confidence. Also try and convince her to talk to her friend who blabbed, and let her know how she's feeling about the break in the trust.

Don't try and blow it off like it's a superficial thing (even though in the grand scheme of things it may be), but try and make her see that it's not the end of the world. That in a week, the kids at school will be talking about something else.

Good luck! I hope she feels better about this soon.

Answer 3

I'm 15 i remember this feeling i know this feeling only mine was my EX best friend went around school saying she was pregnant by MY boyfriend of 6 months

I'm gonna write this towards her so she can just read it

secrets are not fun especially when they're about you but look towards the bright side of it maybe he likes you also and then you two can become closer ( if your mom lets you) but if in fact that he doesn't take it as an advantage tell yourself well "I can do better and I WILL" trust me this is my favorite saying I made up just for you!
"secrets will get told
people may turn heads
but in the end
you will ALWAYS have your very best friends "
good luck with everything and don't worry about it


god bless you
and
again good luck

Answer 4

As for a 14-year-old girl I have had this problem throughout my whole life. My advice to you is to just comfort her and tell her it will be alright and make sure she goes to school. My advice to her ' Don't deny it!!!! If you really like the boy then admit that you like him. If you do so then you wont have that big chip on your shoulder and you'll feel so much better. Trust me. And you never know he might like you as well and then you will definitely feel good because you know he likes you and it wont be a big problem at school anymore. It will all blow over soon cause tomorrow somebody else will be in the spotlight at school and you will be just a girl at school who might have a new boyfriend. As for your friend that told don't be too hard on her cause she might have been trying help you out. My friends and I do that a lot to each other and we are still friends and have been since elementary school. I know helping can hurt but sometimes people don't mean to so don't be so harsh on her OK.

Answer 5

Aw thats so sad. This isnt usually an answer a 12-year old daughter likes ot here but if you are confident and you stick to it and be like yeah I do after a short while people wont have anything to tease you about after they got it out of their system.

Otherwise I dont know what she would do, growing up I never minded people knowing who I liked so I dont have expiriences where I found a solution. I just know confidence always surprizes people. Let her know these things happen as you grow up and the more bad expiriences that happen when your young, the more expirienced you will be when you are older. Also she now knows which friend not to trust with her secrets. In the movie "Hitch" he was so bad and unsmooth when he was young with women and because of all his mistakes he learned to know women inside and out. This may not be an accurate stroy but I know life does work that way in many senses. Send her my sympathy, Im sorry this happened.

Answer 6

I would support her and give her some wisdom on friendship and betrayl. Friends don't share secrets unless it is the affect of harm (suicide attemps for example). To share personal information upon a boy will expose her feelings to the world. However, what happens today, will be yesterday's news when tomorrow comes.

It is embaressing. It is hurtful. When someone says "ew, you like him!" allow her to have confidence and throw it back on them with a question or statement "What makes it your business to snoop in other's lives?".

Truthfuly, that is how my mom taught me and I even had the teacher's thinking the same thing.

She is learning the ropes of best friendship and friends. I would direct her away from spite and "getting even"/anger. She just have to learn that some people are not friend material and have to let them go and move on.

Answer 7

Oh my gosh people! She wants ADVICE not lecturing! Her daughter is embarrassed! I know what your daughter is going through. I have a friend like that and cannot keep secrets. Tell your daughter it's OK. Tell her that you agree, what her friend did was totally wrong and she DEFINETELY deserves an apology. Her friend should know that what she did was totally embarassing and would she enjoy it if she blabbed a secret like that about her to somebody else?

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Yeah, gossip's a mean tool and she's on her way to learning its destructive power. If she's really scared and can't handle the thought of laughter and chatter, maybe she could explain to her teacher(s) the situation and ask them to help her "keep a lid on things". Yeah, that's kind of a wimpy solution, but as a soon-to-be-teacher, I'd like to step in and help if I could. Otherwise, let the tears fall, let the kids laugh, and if this boy has a shred of dignity, he'll aid her in some way too. I'd also think it'd be cool of you as a mom to treat the boy nice (like a dinner invite) if he's honorable to your daughter

Answer 10

Tell her it doesn't matter what people say, if its true tell her to ignore the "rumors" and stand tall. If the boy likes her back he'll probably be mean to her and that will continue with men all her life, the "friend" that blabbed is maybe jealous of her...tell her girls will be that way for the rest of her life too