in a emotionl abusive marriage,and the law is on her side?

Question

Could I call the cops on her for controling me,telling me that if I so much as yell, shes going to call the cops.I want to know how I can get my balls back, its not worth getting back at her.Shes driving me crazy....I dont even have any friends because of this marriage!

I've known her since JR. High,but you never know a preson until youre married, and live with them.We didnt date, we just got married.I feal stupid for getting with someone whos intent is loving,but shes very deceptive on the inside-Deep down.She will have me locked up for slamming a door(are you kidding me!).This is not what I pictured to be marital bliss.I let my guard down,and reeled in a shark.The bad think about it is that my mom is always on her side, but her, and my dad have been divorced for over 20years.I cant take any more control,what rights do men have...just to get out, and thats it?,Im flat on my ***,with a trash bag?

Answer 1

Are you living in a no-fault state ... if so, the law would take no side on the divorce. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and the cops have been called. I would cry because we were fighting ... he would yell. The cops (Minnesota) do not really care who leaves at that point - just that someone must leave the home and not return until the next morning. Does she yell at you? Can you remain calm and call the police? Will she have calmed down by the time the police get there or will she continue with her controlling behavior?

Unfortunately, this relationship may not change because it sounds like she may be the one that does not want to change and likes it the way it is ... you must follow your heart and have the strength to make the right decision no matter what that be.

Good luck!

Answer 2

well you cant just let her control you
its not right
you just have to put her in her place
im not saying beat her or anything like that
you dont even have to yell at her
just tell her flat out
this is bull and youre not going to take it anymore
and she can just deal with it
for one if you dont lay your hands on her
there is nothing that a cop will do
and for two if she does call the cops (which i highly doubt she will) theyll just come out and tell her to leave if she doesnt feel shes being treated well but they wont do anything
besides you have the right to them too....im not saying you should call them now and tell them what is going on, no offense but theyll probably laugh at you, but if you and her are fighting (not physically) and she calls them you can tell them exactly whats going on
she tries to control you and you told her youre not going to take her crap anymore
let them know she said shed call even if you yelled
then they would let her know that she cant do that and if she does shell be the one in trouble


and of course i say all of this under the impression that youre not abusive, or have an anger managment problem
if you did and shes said this because she afraid youll hurt her or someone else (kids or whatever) then youre in a whole different thing
id say if this is the case shes probably trying to do whats best for everyone........but i really hope this is not the case
good luck
and sorry this is so long

Answer 3

Plan your exit. Stash $$$ and ask family, estranged friends or co-workers to give you a place to crash.

Document the abuse - keep a note pad with dates and specific details, discreetly turn on a tape recorder or cam corder when she isn't looking.

Then have NO contact with her. If there are children involved, go for full custody. Use the documentation to prove that she is mentally infit for custody and possibly visitaion should be supervised.

Answer 4

jeez buddy..... get the hell out while you can. My buddy went through that. he wound up w/15 days in jail and a record of domestic violence. Three things you need. A recording of het threatening you.... ALWAYS have a witness w/ you at all times. And a good lawyer. In ohio.... if a domectic disturbance is called in..... no ifs ands or buts.... someone is taking a trip downtown. Either you for doing it.... or her for calling a false report.

Answer 5

you need to leave and see a counsellor that way if she tried anything you have the counsellors back up from what she did to you,leave and dont tell her where your at and change any numbers you have she can call you on,cut your losses and be free to find the person who your really meant to be with your soal mate wont treat you that way and you will find love again the right sort

Answer 6

Get some backbone, pack your suitcase and walk out the door. Do not reply to anything she says or does or I guarantee it will be turned on you. Men aren't seen as non-agressors, so whatever you do, do not fight fire with fire under any circumstance. Go live your life. Good luck!

Answer 7

that's nicely and previous verbal abuse. confident your spouse has been abused by her mom. The therapist is nice. i'm hoping your spouse believes you and the therapist. the mum sounds mentally ill and vindictive. i may be very careful. you will possibly be able to could get criminal help to maintain her far off from any toddlers you have gotten.

Answer 8

Sweetheart, it time to go. If you can live in extending hotel for awhile until you can find a apartment. Each time you talk to her, try to put it on tape. So, when you go to court, you can prove your case.

Answer 9

Leave. Then when you're in a safe place, file for a divorce.

Answer 10

Yeah, I'm sure it's all HER fault and you're an innocent prince.

Just move out and let her live her life.