SOOO CONFUSED,,,have tried so many things,,have tried talking,,EVERYTHING!!,,feel so empty,,SOOO UNDESIRED,,feel like a piece of useless sh*t,,its been over 10 yrs since I felt his touch,,or any mans touch,,have never stepped out of the marriage,,but think about it ALL the time now,,miss satisfying a man,,miss the touch of a man,,,know its wrong to do anything out of the marriage though,,im 42,,should I have to be so empty just because he dosnt want my touch,,or want to touch me???Really cant imagine feeling this hollow for much longer,,, hurts,,,,?!?!
2006-11-28 09:46:04 · 21 answers · asked by sHyGaL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he hasn't touched you in 10 years, he's touching someone else. You deserve better. You aren't his mate but a roommate. Don't tolerate this from him.
2006-11-28 09:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did you to cause this coldness, it has to be something, because this isn't normal. If just out the blue he stopped touching you than you need to set him down and found what is wrong between you two. If he want talk to you about and it isn't anything you've done, then you need to find out if he wants a divorce and tell him you need a man to love you, touch you and be intimate with you. If he still refuses he gives you no alternative but to seek a divorce and grounds of mental cruelty and when you explain to the judge he'll have to support you and you'll get a good settlement. Maybe something has gone wrong in his sex life and doesn't want to admit it, But you can't go on the way things are now. All humans need to be touched and have a normal sex life. Best Of Luck
2006-11-28 10:06:58 · answer #2 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly I am so sorry...
Wow you are an amazing woman to put up with this for 10 years.
I have to say that the way he is treating you is not your fault.
I could say get a makeover, sexy under ware, get counseling for you both.
But 10 years you have a pattern now and well I can't see that changing unless he wanted it to.
So get counseling for yourself and work through your feelings and your choices and see what life has to bring.
Seriously is your husband gay or has a mistress because nothing other than that or his manhood does not work would make sense.
If I was you I'd be heading for the door and towards a man who wanted me but I am not you....good luck
2006-11-28 09:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off-Quit feeling sorry for yourself!Believe me you can go and find a guy that will love and adore you-it sounds like he has "stepped out of the marriage" already -I mean come on 10 yrs!!!???Unless he is 60 or older then he is getting it someplace else. There is know reason that you should con dim yourself on his behalf-I'm not trying to be mean but you need to be honest to yourself--think about it!!Are you in a place that you think you can stay for the rest of your life?The sooner you realize that you can be Happy the sooner things will be better for you!!
2006-11-28 10:40:52 · answer #4 · answered by I'm laughing WITH you 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young to be so neglected...nobody should be so neglected. Why is HIS sex drive so low? Maybe he has a health problem. I was married to a guy who never wanted sex either, but he was an alcoholic and he couldn't ahhh function. I am 99.99% sure it isn't you but it is such a painful place to be in, I really feel for you. Take him to see his M.D. for a check-up. Don't say anything to him that it's about his lack of sex drive but talk to the doctor privately and I'd be willing to bet he'll start you guys back on the road to recovery. Bless you, bless you, bless you. You are not hollow, you are not empty...you are a sexual and lovely being.
2006-11-28 10:13:40 · answer #5 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem so hurt and it is no wonder. We all need love and understanding. I'd start with counseling for both of you but assume you've already attempted that. But you might try getting some just for yourself to ease some pain and get some insight. Don't put yourself down; it's obvious that you're the one trying to resolve this. Life should not be wasted being miserable. It might be time to take care of #1, YOU !
2006-11-28 09:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by Lost Shadow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a marriage there must be understand of eachothers needs apparently your husband have been negelected it for 10 yrs...
I'm pround of u for not stepping out of your marriage ,,,,,
Now you have given him 10yrs and got nothing in return, look at him and tell him you're leaving him and go get your self with a man now sex isn't everything but wat choice has your husband left u too....
For a man not to have sex for so long is either he turn into a priest or he is 6 feet under which we know is not of the above...
Go enjoy your life for a change and be happy....
2006-11-28 10:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by tutsie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all need to be wanted and desired...if you are this unhappy then i suggest you talk to him one more time and tell him how you are feeling....if he still doesnt care then i think you should file for divorce,,then look for another man who will want you. Then it wont be cheating will it??? You shouldnt stay in a marriage if you are that unhappy. Life is too short to be sitting around waiting for a man who doenst even bother with you. Start a new life and start with some self confidence.
2006-11-28 09:52:26 · answer #8 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a good counselor who will listen to your pain as well as you. Some men go dormant. The wife needs to ask at that point - do you love the man or your feelings/needs more. It isn't a pretty situation.
I'm sorry.
2006-11-28 09:59:43 · answer #9 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you talked to him, what did you say? What did he say back? Did you ask why he won't touch you? Did he answer?
I think you should go to counciling together. Maybe a trained councelor will have more insight than just the two of you alone.
2006-11-28 09:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋