My long time best friend(15 years) left his wife after being together and seperated several times over the past 7 years. THey have been divorced for 1 1/2 years now, and it is clear that
we will be together. THe kids are 13 .6 and 5. When he is with them at (more than 1/2 of each week) He doesn't answer his phone or call me. He said he may be ready for me to meet them in a year. That seems like a long time. I love kids and am very good with them. I don't want to be their mom, but I would like to be acknowledged and respected. It would cut down tremendously on thelies he has to tell them when he is with me.
2006-11-28 09:34:08 · 11 answers · asked by maz0642 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now days divorce is every where. His kids go to school with kids that dads or moms have someone else after the divorce. It's time to introduce you to the kids that's if he really cares about. Think about it.
2006-11-28 09:57:20 · answer #1 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is doing the right thing. You don't need to be a part of their lives right now. If you two get more serious, then he should introduce you when he is ready. But him spending time with his kids without you is quite considerate as a father. That way he gets to focus on the kids without having to cater to you being "acknowledged and respected". He is a good man, don't give him any grief over it.
2006-11-28 18:04:26 · answer #2 · answered by redbeansandrice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't introduce my kids to someone new tell I knew for sure we were going to get married. Even then I would wait at least another year to get married so that my kids had enough time to get used to the other person.
My mother used to bring home guy after guy, I hatted it and a lot of bad things happen. I will never be like that. It seems to me that your boyfriend is just being a responsible parent and putting his children first. If you can't handle that then, it's time for you to go.
2006-11-28 17:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long is different for everyone. i was with a guy 2yrs before i met his daughter. I introduced him to my kids about 2months after we were together. A few ex's never met them. Guys are funny this way, they tend to wait a lot longer than we do. If you have the intention or the relationship is stable enough that you know you will be together for awhile then introduce the kids..other wise don't drag them into it. Plus he knows his kids and how they will react better than you do...don't push it.
Tell him how you feel, and if anything maybe just introduce you as a friend first and keep your hands and lips to yourself and act just as friends in front of the kids...maybe that will ease his worries
2006-11-28 17:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not dealing with the kids fears, as some reader seem to think, your dealing with his fears. To me it seems a long time, but it his decision and you have to support it or leave it. Your better off simply asking why, or if there is something he feels you could do to help the transition or introduction.
2006-11-28 17:54:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids should come first in any relationship, if he feels its going to take that long for his kids to get comfortable with you then you are either going to have to accept it or choose to leave him. You need to make the choice to if he is worth it or not.
2006-11-28 17:39:43 · answer #6 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its more a question of how stable is your new relationship? Its never a good time to introduce your kids to someone you have no intention of staying with...
2006-11-28 17:37:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a set time. Some kids are very mature, and relate quickly. You will really know best. Keep the faith!
2006-11-28 17:40:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you do, those kids will never like you. Do not try and be friends with them because it will backfire. I do not care who you are or how nice you are they will never like you.
2006-11-28 17:40:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't want a man who lies to his kids and it doesn't sound like you two are gonna be together to me.
2006-11-28 17:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋