What do people really think about cheaters?

Question

What do you think of people who cheat on their spouses? People who justify their actions by saying their needs were not being met or they were simply not happy? Is there any justification? Is wanting out of your marriage a valid reason for cheating? And what about tho "other" people? The ones who knowingly have affairs with people they know are married. What is your opinion of them?

Answer 1

Cheating is one of the most destructive things that can happen to a person or a relationship. It's an act of cowardice and happens when a person doesn't love himself enough to expect more of himself. They rightfully feel that they are a sh*tty person, and so, instead of feeling ashamed of that and working towards improving themselves, they wallow in it and revel in their "badness". They figure that if they're bad anyway, then there's no reason they shouldn't be completely shameless and callous and go the whole nine yards. The trouble is that the worse they behave, the deeper they dig the hole they've made for themselves and the more difficult it becomes to turn around and face what they see in the mirror.

Cheaters are bad people. They are low-quality people, not because they don't possess other fine qualities, but quite simply because they have defined themselves as such. Their failing is in their choice to care about their own selfish WANTS more than about the NEEDS of others. I don't know about anyone else, but my opinion that is THE definition of a bad person. At least it's someone I wouldn't want to be associated with.

And people who enable cheaters are just as bad in my book. It might sound strange coming from someone who agrees with swinging, but one of the criteria we have when we had looked for "playmates" was their relationship. We absolutely refuse to play with anyone who is cheating on their partner, or with people whose relationship is obviously on the rocks. That, to us, is just unethical. We work hard at our marriage and have no respect for those who try to cut corners and get out of the work.

IMO, there is NO justification for cheating. None, nada, zip, zilch. There's just NO excuse for lying to your spouse. I don't buy the "I was protecting her feelings" excuse either. Your spouse is an adult in an adult relationship; he or she deserves to be given the dignity of a choice as to whether he/she thinks you are worth staying with. If you're afraid that you're not worth staying with (and that's why you didn't offer him/her the choice), then thurr's yer trouble.

Answer 2

First i think that cheating is wrong.. Plain and simple.. There actions are not justified.. if they wanted to spice things up or what not they should have discussed trying new things with there spouse or significant other.. The ones having an affair with some one they know is married.. they have commitment issues.. instead of getting into a relationship.. they choose someone who they know can't or won't want anything more.. Those will be the type that will be alone and really bummed about it someday!

Answer 3

I think that they are both selfish people who deserve each other. I have a friend who is having an affair with a married man for well over a year and tries to justify it by saying that it's normal to have affairs and that men are dogs and it's expected-ugh. Buttt, she cries and chases after him when he tries to let her go. She threatens to tell his wife if he won't come see her. She talks as if they're a couple. I can't tell her anything on it because she gets upset and pissed off. I figure this behavior will catch up with both of them in the end. He's married and has 2 toddlers. He used the excuse of how his wife doesn't cook, clean and only has sex with him when she wants something. But he won't leave her. He's so pathetic. They are both pathetic.

Answer 4

Infidelity is a pattern of behavior that seeks self-satisfaction at the expense of commitment to another. Most people do not like selfishness and betrayal. Majorities of people disapprove of infidelity. The lack of social acceptance places pressure on couples to hide their affair from family, friends, and colleagues.
There is no justification to cheat but a cheating is often but not always associated with the problem in the marriage. Often innocent spouse is not aware what problem is. It is luck of communications.

Answer 5

I think cheaters are cowards. If your needs aren't being met, then talk about it with your spouse and work it out. If you're not happy, examine why you're not happy; it may have nothing to do with your spouse, but everything to do with you. If you want out of your marriage, then be up front about it and get out.

Cheating is just a way of having fun while hoping your "problem" will just go away. If you aren't brave enough deal with the possible outcomes (STDs, pregnancy, lack of respect from children, loss of job, etc.) then don't start. No one ever gets away with it, and it always comes back to bite you on the ***.

Answer 6

I think people who cheat are extremely selfish. They only think about themselves and their own happiness. They feel as though they deserve more than others. There is no justification for cheating, its all just excuses. As far as those who sleep with married people, its not up to them to do the right thing, its up to the married person. If they didn't cheat with you they would have cheated with someone else.

Answer 7

cheating is cheating, whether on a test or in marriage, but have any of the people that have answered here been a cheater at anything?...my guess is yes.....people justify cheating anyway they can...until you have walked a mile in their shoes, how can you know?....cheating sucks, but so does life, it aint always fair, so people decide they can overlook the fact they are cheaters, sad but true...sounds like you have been cheated on and need some sympathy, sorry to hear that, but thats lifde, better get used to it

Answer 8

I think cheaters are the most selfish people expecially those who blame their spouses. I mean c'mon, if you're not happy with the relationship, try counceling, pick up a hobby, get out of the house with your same-sex friends, but don't go sleeping with some ***** and then bringing those germs home to our bed!

Not only do they lie and sneak behind your back, but they look you in the eyes and don't even have the nerve to tell you until they get caught.

If my husband ever cheated, he'd have skid marks on the sidewalk where I kicked him to the curb. I would respect my husband if he came to me and said he was not happy and wanted out. I would let him. If he said he wanted to seek marital counceling, I'd go. But I won't sit back and let him sleep around.

No question about it.

Answer 9

Nothing is absolute.

I have issue with people who get self-righteous about certain behavior. "I would never..." "Those people are disgusting..." etc.
Ever heard the saying about glass houses and stones? They may not cheat but they will most likely do other things that people find disturbing. No one is perfect, remember that.

People make choices in life, sometimes good, sometimes bad. These are normal everyday people. You wouldn't know who a cheater was one unless you were somehow involved with the situation.

I think that cheaters are sad and afraid (of life or their situation or even themselves). The "other" is lonely.

Answer 10

I don't think there can be any "justification" for cheating; a promise is a promise. Ideally, promises and committments should not be broken. However, it happens a lot - not only in relationships; breaking committments and promises is a part of life. I would not condemn anyone for doing what they feel needs to be done in their private life. It's their business.