My friend always mooches off me, and it bothers me...?

Question

It's my own fault, I suppose, because I offer. But she's always getting internships through me, job leads through me, gigs through me, etc.

I guess I feel annoyed becase the economy sucks, and I've worked really hard with job hunting, applying to tons of different things, submitting resumes and cover letters galore. She sits on her *** being lazy, and once I find a job, I just recommend her and get her in. It's happened 3 times already.

It just bothers me because even though I did offer to help her out, I feel that she ought to stop mooching all the time and start doing some work for herself. The first two times I didn't mind. But this third time, I feel like it's getting to be too much. And she's older than me too, so I feel that she ought to be more responsible for herself now.

What do you think?

Answer 1

Having been in that situation before, it's understandable how you feel! But if you want to make her work without feeling you are letting her down, consider this: You aren't going to always be around. You'll move away, or perhaps you'll move on with life, meet new people. So will she. YOU will probably be more successful. And she won't have the experience to get along on her own. If you still care for her, despite all mooching, dump her (gently) on her bum and let her know she's got to learn to get around on her own two legs. No more help.

Offer advice. Get her started with a step or two towards finding a job. But beyond that, refuse all help. Let her know that the job industry isn't always about who you know, but how much work you do.

Answer 2

Here's what I Think you need to stop helping her do things that she knows she can do herself see if you keep helping her she will get use to it and keep mooching off of you for the rest of your life Believe me it happens and I know you don't want that so let her support herself its not like you are her mother or anything so stop letting her put so much weight on you take a stand and tell her that your through helping her and that your tired of being used as a footstool and now she needs to start doing things for herself Just don't be harsh with it you just want to let her know that she needs to start doing things herself and stop depending on you to do everything for her.

Answer 3

stop letting her ride your coattails. she needs to get her stuff together, you wont be there all the time. she's gotten used to you helping her so she milking you. dont be a doormat. stop helping her.