My sister has been with her husband for almost 3 years now, the have a wonderful marriage and a 9 month old baby together..who is an angel. The only problem they have is my brother in law's daughter. She is 10 years old and has made there lives a living hell since they got custidy of her last year. She lies, acts like a 5 year old when she doesn't get her way, to get attention she does the stupidest thing like takeing an hour to figure out how to spell YOUR, a word she learned in 1st grade, she has push the baby of the bed 2 time and pushed him over onto the hardwood floor and made his lip bleed,, in short makes my sisters life hell, her father is on the road 7 months out of the year and my sister has to raise her on her own. Her husbands ex-girlfiend, the mother of his daughter is taking them back to court for the 3rd time in one year, because they cut her hair without her permmision...which is a joke in my eyes but if she wants to waste her money go nuts!!
2006-11-28 09:12:20 · 10 answers · asked by yamahaviper_00 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
before they got full custidy of her they had the time split between them 6 months 6 months, which worked out very well, the only problem is that my brother in law doesn't want to do that know, but what he doesn't understand is that my sister is the one raising his child, and with a new baby it is hard to deal with her. it wouldn't be bad if he was home but he's gone mon-fri for 7 months. how can my sister explain to him that the 6months 6months would be in the best intrest for the child and herself!!!!
2006-11-28 09:16:40 · update #1
they have done the sounceling thing and they have done the punishment thing and she doesn't care. she will still keep doing what she is doing. she was told she has adhd and she was on meds,Her counceler said that it was all a really good act and she doesn't have it!!
She has told us that she will do what ever it takes to get her way! her father didn't believe, because his little girl could never do that, we taped her saying this when he was on the road, and played it to him. and still no change, even after her father stepped in she still said that she will do what it takes to get her way
2006-11-28 09:24:31 · update #2
She should tell him point-blank that she cannot deal with this girl. He needs to go back to the 6 months split. Of course he doesn't want to do that, he's not the one raising her. She should just tell him if he wants to keep his marriage, he will send the girl to her mother for the time that he is gone. Then, when he is home and actually able to be a disciplinary figure for her, she could have her time with them. She'll have to put her foot down and mean it. Stand her ground.
2006-11-28 09:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's not the child's fault. Please remember that her life has been ripped apart because her mommy and daddy aren't together. Throw into the mix a new step-mom AND a baby that she probably feels that she's competing for attention with. Plus, her dad isn't with her most of the time. That's a lot of weight on the shoulders of a 10 year old.
I think the child needs some professional help...counseling. Your sister and the father also need to set boundaries and consequence for her actions. 1st a warning, 2nd time grounded for a day from all activities, standards, chores...whatever the punishment my be. And your sister and brother-in-law need to follow through with the punishment.
2006-11-28 09:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They created a broken home and ended up with a broken child. Upset, stressed, whacky children are the direct result of parents who destroy the child's sense of stability and belonging. You reap what you sow. Don't expect a 10 year old child to behave any better than her parents have. If the husband gave a toss, he'd change jobs and take care of business, rather than running off for 7 months a year! This is crazy.
2006-11-28 09:38:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
to me it sounds like the child is acting out I hate to toss judement without personally knowing this family. FROM WHAT YOU WROTE. My thoughts are the child is treated like a step daughter kids know when they are not wanted. She dose things that she's to old to be doing for ATTENTION i bet your sister coo's over and cuddles the little baby i bet she don't hug this girl that' not her's i bet she don't even want the kid there. The kid's dad is never around i feel like this kid SHOULD be with her mom. Why is your sister fighting to keep a kid she thinks makes her life HELL. YES her mom should have been ask before the hair cut her birth mom SHOULD be informed on choices being made for HER DAUGHTER. I have a 8 year old with bi polar and ADHD she acts babyish sometimes when she feels neglected. if daddy is not there the kid don't need to be there either.
2006-11-28 09:20:12 · answer #4 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel sorry for your sister and the poor little girl caught in the middle. It is obvious that she is just trying to get attention. She is very jealous of her brother and it sounds as if she is needing some counseling and maybe some time with her father, not your sister. There needs to be some way for her to spend more time with him, if he has to find another job. His family needs to be the priority here and his daughter needs him terribly. Easier said than done I know but that is the way it is. Good luck
2006-11-28 09:21:03 · answer #5 · answered by Tracy S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't really change your bloody or step relative. I come from a family where there's been lying, neglect, jealousy, verbal and psychical abuse. You can try to lecture to your step-sister but she has to realize that she's screwed up to you by trying to get with your boyfriend. In my experiences, even if I tried to point out to any of my family that they are screwed up people and are messed up to me (my immediate family) that is, pointing out how they are did not change how they treat me. I do not really consider step brother or sister as family but to you, she's family. A lot of famlies are just screwed up. Nothing you or anybody can do about it. I'd say just try not being around her so much. If you do yell at her and try to point out that she's messed up for trying to get with your boyfriend, it might be pointless as she probably wouldn't care what you're saying to her.
2016-05-22 23:15:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why she is not with mom full time???? But it seem like she has being througth alot of changes and it is not her faul but it could be a reaction to her to express her feelings .... But of course it is not your sis problem if the father is not around during the week then let her stay with mom and spend with your sis the weekends, tell your sis to speak about this with her hubby and look for a solution & try to solve it the better way possible if he is not there to correct his daugther, then your sis will have the hardest time always and if she gets to punish her or even spank her the girl will get more mad at her & will continue with bad attitude... I'm sorry for your sis but is her hubby doesn't undertand she will have to see other choices to deal with her or move out it is hard but I was in the same situation but thank GOD my hubby understood and and now his boy spend more time with mom & when he is with us he behaves better and we have less problems, it was hard for mu hubby but he understood that his boy was just making more & more problems not only to me but to our relationship and most of his bad behavior was because of the bad things his mom used to say .... GOOD LUCK to your sis hopefully she finds a solution SOOOONNNNN!!!
2006-11-28 09:52:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like this child has had alot of changes in a short while and her future still isnt for sure... not that its your fault or an excuse but i can see y she would be acting out she is 10 still young and not sure how to deal with her feelings other then acting out... i would take her to see a counsler so she can openly talk to someone who isnt involved or ready to judge her... i would sit her down and talk to her about the baby and tell her that what she is doing to him could kill him and then she would be put in juvie (kid jail ) for it and be strict about this before she really does hurt him dont leave her alone with that baby for one sec... she may have a true chemical imbalance and cant help the way she acts and if they get her on the rite meds she would be fine... i say the first step is to get her to the dr for a compleat check up and dont leave anything out...
2006-11-28 09:19:58 · answer #8 · answered by crazyme 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The ten year old girl should be with her mom. Tell your brother-in-law and your sister to give up the custody of the girl.
2006-11-28 09:17:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Send the little demon back to her mom.
2006-11-28 09:14:40 · answer #10 · answered by BORED AT WORK 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋