I am in a relationship with a guy for the past 8 years. We have 2 children and are trying to make things work. The guy I am with now has really hurt me a lot in the past. He was hooked on drugs and liked to go out partying. The last 2 months he has been good but I can't trust him and not "in-love" with him anymore. Somethimes I wish I would have left him when I had a chance to. Should I try to forget my crush (believe me I've tried) and work it out with my guy? or try and break it off with my guy, which I believe we'll never be in that "lovey-dovey" place again and learn more about my "crush"?
2006-11-28 08:55:40 · 8 answers · asked by dazed&confused81 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it sounds to me that your heart is already making choices for you and it's your mind that's confused. This guy has hurt you in the past by his drug use, huh? Sounds like a loser. Has he ever heard of rehab? He needs some serious help NOW. If you aren't in love anymore why still together? Did you all ever get married or is he a wimp in that department too? By doing all his partying he is acting like a child. NO I do not think you should cheat on him & NO do not pursue this crush until and well after you have ended this current mess you are in, if at all. Do you want to see where this two months of "goodness" goes-- then go ahead. Forgive and forget it. If you are really gonna try then you first must forgive. You obviously loved him at some point.... Secondly, if you two are going to break up & you really do care at all for this crush guy then you do not want to bring him into this mess. Wait till things are in a right place. Then start fresh. FRESH for both of you! Starting a relationship on shaky ground will just end in a earthquake.
2006-11-28 09:20:35 · answer #1 · answered by Leash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither. There's no point in wishing you had broken it off; if this is what you would rather do - do it now. Otherwise, you will still be "wishing" 10 years later. But - don't do it because of the "crush"... the crush is only a distraction, and will lead you nowhere. Do it because this is what you feel you have to do to find fulfillment. If you figure out the mistakes you had made in the past, this will help you find a more mature and rewarding relationship in the future.
Running to your "crush" will just continue on the dysfunctional pattern.
2006-11-28 17:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does the guy in your relationship have feelings that he wants it to work out with you two? It could be that your so used to this relationship and you want to shaken things up again or are you really truth-full to yourself about your feelings? I would talk with the "Crush" and talk with your "Boyfriend" about how both of you feel about relationships. Tell the guy you have a crush on about your situation and maybe he can help or not even mention the relationship your in because in your head it is over anyways, talk to your boyfriend about all the pain he caused you and that you can't seem to get past that and continue on with the relationship. But whatever you do, don't hurt someone else if you plan on staying with your boyfriend.
2006-11-28 17:17:18 · answer #3 · answered by Karen A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to put every guy on hold and take some time to your self.
It might help writing down all the pros and cons about the guys.
8 years is a long time maybe you two could go to a therapist and try to fix things?
2006-11-28 17:01:30 · answer #4 · answered by babie919 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in divorce but if you feel like you have given your hubby alot of time to shape up his act and the trust is not there or the love then it may be better for the two of you and the kids to call it quits. I'm totally against adultery so if you feel you may do this don't split from your hubby and then follow your heart. God Bless and Good Luck.
2006-11-28 17:01:49 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough but keep in mind that if there's no love then it will not work. So do what you have to do to be happy. If you do leave just make sure you don't cheat. break it off first and be honest no matter what.
2006-11-28 17:22:20 · answer #6 · answered by vato 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first and for mostyou need to think about yourself.. then decide anyone that stays in a relationship that are not happy with deserves not be happy.and you should work on that relationship.. also I think that when you meet someone its always new and exciting.. but what about when the newness wears off....????
2006-11-28 17:06:42 · answer #7 · answered by TalonsMomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow You have more baggage then the lost baggage room at Delta! If you really like the guy at work -- leave him alone!
2006-11-28 17:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by muffin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋