Ever since i found out im pregnant, (4 months) my mom has been, i dont know, acting like she wants to replace my fiance as a parent. She wants to go to every doc. appt., and when he says he wants to go she tells him he cant, she wants to name the baby, and plan everything now and when the baby is born! She also keeps pushing us to get married, and being mean when i say we will get married when we are ready. And there are also times when she makes rude comments to my fiance out of nowhere, and later claims she is joking, but whenever i comfront her it leads to an argument. I love my mom and definately want her in the baby's life but how can i nicely tell her to back off w/o he feeling bad?
2006-11-28 08:35:13 · 12 answers · asked by ReRe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
just sit her down when your bf is not around and talk to her. This baby is yours and maybe she means well but all she's doing is stressing you aout and making you have problems with him...if you don't stop this now is gonna be wrose later. Why would she tell him he can't go to an appt...he has all the right over her, he's the father. I would be really upset if someone - for no reason at all-was trying to push my partner away from my baby's life. I know is your mom and you love her but your bf has all the right before her to get to do stuff. Ifyou don't tell your mom to back off she's gonna ruin your relationship with him...trust me on that.
2006-11-28 08:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that there is a way to tell her to back off without her feeling bad, but you have to do it anyway. This is supposed to be an amazing time for you and your partner, you cannot let her push her way in the middle. You have to tell her you want her to be part of it, but that you and (insert fiance's name here) created the baby that you are having together and that she has to take her place as the grandparent. It's going to be tough, but you can't let her spoil this great time for you two.
2006-11-28 08:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by Jan S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just sit down with her and your fiance. Tell her how you feel and let him do the same. BUT you must be prepared to hear her side of stuff too. Also.... If she wants you guys married so bad why don't you do it? Then she wont have a say in anything with the pregnancy because it will be you and your hubby deciding for YOUR baby! Just a thought. Good luck and congrats
2006-11-28 08:39:28 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that you love her but that this time is for you and your fiance. She already had her time to be mommy when she had her kids. Talk to your fiance and doctor and create a birth plan which says exactly who you do and do not want in the delivery room. The hospital will help enforce it. Good luck!
2006-11-28 08:39:11 · answer #4 · answered by wyllow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that it is your pregnancy, and that you would like to spend the happy time with your husband, and that you want you and your husband to control the baby not her. But I would say it in a nice sweet and calm tone. Well you could also tell her just to lay off some and give you some room.
2006-11-28 08:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by sheridane95 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest. Just tell her exactly how you feel, she'll probably be hurt but in the long run you'll both be happier.
Also, your fiance should feel secure enough to tell her that he is going and she's not.
How is it that she has so much control, do you live with her?
2006-11-28 08:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by Stacy D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP HER NOW. my mom did this too, i was only 16 when i had my son so i let her, and now 7 years later she still tries to tell me how to raise him and i hate every second of it. don't let it get as far as i did. tell her how u feel but don't be mean about it
2006-11-28 08:42:13 · answer #7 · answered by Mz. Tanning Bed Junkie! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's probably so eager for a grandbaby that she isn't aware of her intrusion!
Don't be so hard on her---just sit her down and calmly discuss it. Keep her involved to the level you are comfortable with, and she will have to be satisfied with that.
2006-11-28 08:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave her, she's so over protective of you. she'll calm down herself. let her go to some and tell her mommie(when we call our mothers "mommie" it reminds them of when we were little) me and fiance isgoing this time okay. and smile at her when you talk, beleive me you will need her very soon than you think. she loves you so much ; be thankful that she wants to be there for you. love her back
2006-11-28 08:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move into your own place, And have the fiancee pay the rent. That would be step one.
2006-11-28 08:43:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋