My husband and I had our first child at age 16, got pregnant again at 19 and got married before our second child was born. We are now 23 years old. He is in the army and when he got back from deployment we had talked about having a third child. Then, he decided he didn't want to and before I got back on birth control we were already pregnant. He was happy at first, but then decided he doesn't want the baby. I am now 3.5 months pregnant and he is making our family life miserable. I think he resents me for being pregnant. What do I do to make things better?
2006-11-28 08:32:33 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well let's start off with the fact that he is not the one carrying the baby. You are. What do you want to do? If you want to have it who gives a damn what he thinks. If you don't want it. Then there are two options. I am sure you know what they are.
2006-11-28 08:36:17 · answer #1 · answered by Senator D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh the things we do when we are young. I will never advise any woman married or not to get rid of baby. You are too far along now. The only thing you can do is go on with the pregnancy and hope for the best but if it doesn't work out for the best you can always give the baby up for adoption. Your choices are to keep the baby or give it up for adoption. Get some counseling and do some heart searching. You are too young to make this decision on your own or by yourself. Your husband is thinking of his freedom, he's just being selfish. After this baby is born get on some birth control. Good luck.
2006-11-28 08:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart, I am so sorry for the way your husband is treating you. the stress he's causing is not good for you or your unborn baby. I honestly don't understand how a man could not want his own child, and this just breaks my heart for you. I understand that you had your first child when you were both very young, but that's no excuse for him not wanting the baby you are carrying now. he needs to straighten up and act like a man. because right now, he's acting about as immature as he possibly could.
there is nothing you can do to make things better. he is the one who needs to choose to make things better. you haven't done anything wrong.
you deserve to be treated right. the 2 children you already have deserve to have a good, stable home life, and the baby you are carrying deserves to be wanted and loved. if your husband doesn't stop this behavior and change his heart and mind about this baby, he will tear your family apart. he's obviously not being supportive of you while you're carrying his child, what's does he think he's going to do when he/she gets here? is he going to ignore the baby and have nothing to do with it? this little person is part of him, and didn't ask to be brought into this world. and you don't need to feel guilty, because you didn't get pregnant on your own. like it or not, your husband needs to start behaving like a responsible man and father of 3.
if he won't accept this baby and support you in this pregnancy, you need to find another place for yourself and your older children to live. you and the children deserve happiness, not misery. I don't think your husband understands how blessed he is to have a wife and three children. If he did, he wouldn't be behaving like this right now. tell him to picture his life without you and the children. tragedies happen every day. and if something happened to you and those kids, his life would be changed forever. just ask him to think about that. I pray that he will. and I pray that he will come to his senses.
I will keep you, your 3 children, and your husband in my prayers.
just remember that even though you don't know me, and I don't know you, I care. and most importantly, God cares.
2006-11-28 09:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shame on him for putting you in this situation. That is an innocent child that did not ask to be put in this situation. He should have compassion for you and that child. It is his flesh and blood. He wanted to create the baby so he should stand up and be a man and take care of the baby and you. Apparently he knew you were off the pill since a third child was discussed. Now is not a good time to decide he didn't mean it. They always want to lay down and have a good time but they never want to deal with the consequences..
2006-11-28 08:48:45 · answer #4 · answered by moonlillies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the damage is already done and whether or not he wants the baby it is obviously coming so he needs to learn to deal with the fact that the two of you are having another child. He should have thought long and hard about it prior to you stopping your birth control. Why is he making everyone miserable??? After all he participated in making the pregnancy happen. He needs to buck up and learn to deal with his responsibilities. I am sure once the baby arrives things will change. Once he sees the baby he will be more excited. Good luck to you all.
2006-11-28 08:37:14 · answer #5 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He works 9-6 so as which potential you artwork 24-7 duhh... heavily he's a jerk and if he truthfully thinks it particularly is appropriate he's regrettably flawed. it particularly is a disgrace how a number of those men think of. I agree thoroughly with packing a bag and staying with a chum or relative, no longer continuously an common factor to do yet neither is looking after new child twins. I even have twins myself, 6 altogether... you merely do no longer stand for that crap. YOU tell Him the way it desires to artwork and if he particularly cares that plenty approximately fairness permit him decide for a time throughout the time of the night for him to stand up and help with the infants.
2016-10-04 11:48:26 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason God gave you this child. You should have it. If he loves your other children, he'll love this one also. And if he doesn't want to accept responsibility for this pregnancy, he isn't even half the man you thought he was. A real man takes on his responsibility even when it doesn't suit him. You didn't get pregnant by yourself and sometimes the unwanted babies turn out to be the greatest gifts. Don't let him talk you into choosing between him and your child. Could you choose him over one of your other children. This baby needs your protection more than ever. It is completely helpless and depends 100% on its mothers protection. Tell your husband to grow up and if he refuses, kick him to the curb.
2006-11-28 08:39:00 · answer #7 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children are a blessing from God.1 more dose not make that big of a difference.And if you do this it will Kill your heart.Stand strong and tell Him you might as well hush because I am not murdering my baby...Like it or not.What do you want matters to not just what He wants..When you play you pay tell Him..This baby is meant to be or it would not be...It has a purpose in your life.And it might be the only child He will have around for Him when He gets to be an old Man...We all have to get old...And you have to meet your maker God some day.I would not do this.I would give it up if I were going to do anything at all....Bless you in your decision...I am praying for you,,,Just look into your other children,s eye,s.
2006-11-28 08:42:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems as though you want to have the baby. Your husband has to decide if this preganacy is worth making his family miserable. And if it is worth the medical risks for you to have a termination at this point. Besides, he shouldn't resent you for getting pregnant, it "took two to tango". He may resent the fact that you don't want to terminate the pregnacy. To make it better? Thats a hard question to answer. I suggest that you find a couples counselor or therapist to help you mediate and resolve the situation as fast as possible.
2006-11-28 08:43:37 · answer #9 · answered by mushygalny214 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are forever and he made a conscious(I'm assuming) decision to have a third child with you. Now that reality has set in he should not try to force you into a guilt mode because he changed his mind.
Do what you feel is right for you and the children... if that is to leave, then do so. If not, seek marriage and parenting counseling so that his current resentment doesn't turn into rage that could possibly harm you or the children.
2006-11-28 08:39:29 · answer #10 · answered by Jay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems that he is under some kind of stress and does not want another child to make it worse. Your husband needs to realise that he engaged in unprotected sex with you, knowing you werent on birth control. I think you should either divorce your husband, or give the baby to a family member to raise for awhile until your husband adjusts to the idea. Sounds like a horrible situation!
2006-11-28 08:38:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋