I walked by his room the other day and found three gay porn magazines by his bed. I'm a girl so I'm not worried about him trying to get with me but it makes me feel uncomfortable. I even tried to get him a lap dance once. How do I start a conversation about all this?
2006-11-28 07:45:06 · 18 answers · asked by Emma 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
There is a reason why he left the magazines out for you to find, it was way of him telling you that he was gay and he did not want to play...
he is a normal guy don't worry about him being gay, he will not hurt you...
2006-11-28 08:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by joy ride 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would it make you feel uncomfortable? He's human just like you. I don't find it your business to say anything about it, but if you're the curious cat ... then here are a few pointers.
1) Don't start with a lap dance ... apparently it didn't work the first time.
2) Offer dating tips with men ... tell him what you fancy in a guy and thus asking him the same.
3) If the last question didn't tip him off, then suggest at looking through some magazines go search for some and "suddenly" come across his collection of goodies.
4) Don't make him feel embarrassed about it ... it will only make things worse for your current friendship
Now ... a question. Are you mad that he is gay? Did you want more out of your relationship? Please don't be jealous of his lifestyle ... embrace it .... you can be the Grace and he can be the Will !!!!
Good luck to ya
"Just Jack"
2006-11-28 07:56:12 · answer #2 · answered by spartexcites 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The probability (if he is indeed gay) is that he alrady opened up the conversation for you. Someone who is trying to hide his closet behaviour is not likely to leave gay porn laying about. More likely, he would have left these mags out in the open so you WOULD notice, an ice breaker of sorts. Don't let this make you feel uncomfortable though, he is still the same person you chose as a friend. just now there is a new side to the leaf. he is probably alot more uncomfortable than you are anyways. be a TRUE friend, accept him and help him be himself.
2006-11-28 08:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by jdaniels6363 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say this guy is your roommate! Do you actually share a room because you go to say that you walked by his room which make me think that you have different rooms. If that is the case you shouldn't have been looking in his room. On the other hand if he left them where you could see them from just walking by then I would say he wanted you to see them, thus he wants you to know. No gay guy who is in the closet would be careless enough to leave discriminating information like that out were anybody could see it and find out about his secret!
So I say just go a head and talk to him about it.
If him leaving his porn out where you can see it makes you uncomfortable then there is a perfect start to the conversation.
You could say something like this:
"I saw your dirty mags the other day as I walked past your room, you left them in plain sight! I don't mind that you are gay, that doesn't bother me at all but I really do feel uncomfortable seeing those mags out there like that! Could you do me a favour and please make sure you put them somewhere I can't see them when I walk by your room, or always keep your door closed! Thanks, I would really appreciate it!"
So there you have it, now you just have to get up the nerve!
Good luck with it. *hugs* JAC<
2006-11-28 08:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by jackaboo007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with cranky yan, why should you care?if he's a true friend it makes no diiference.I would feel so much more comfortable having a gay guy as a roomate because I know they wouldn't come on to me.
2006-11-28 08:11:23 · answer #5 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big deal. Don't be a baby. It's his business. Does he nose around in your sex life? To me a good gay male friend is invaluable to a straight woman. I have four really close gay friends. Two of them go back 20+ years.
2006-11-28 10:19:06 · answer #6 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be kind and just bring up the topic of it and then be like by the way i say this and this and i was just wondering if you were gay. but you never know it could just me a mistake but just don't act all weird or he might not think you like him just because hes gay and I'm sure you don't want to get in that kind or argument.
2006-11-28 08:19:09 · answer #7 · answered by tazangel1992 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you care? Are you that insecure that you would think he can't be gay? Don't start a conversation about this. It's none of your business if he doesn't want to tell you>
2006-11-28 07:58:17 · answer #8 · answered by Namaste 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Umm... open your mouth and just start talking to him. I think he'll understand. You aren't the first straight person to feel uncomfortable with him.
2006-11-28 08:56:18 · answer #9 · answered by iMedic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about saying "Um, I saw some magazines in your room." (unless you were snooping) - or if you want you could say "Hey I heard of this bar called {insert local gay bar} let's go there for a drink"
2006-11-28 07:49:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋