Do you think sex should be after marriage or saved for marriage? Why?

Question

Im just curious cause my mom and dad thinks so but i dont

Answer 1

I think sex should be before marriage. It'll give you a chance to know what you like and what you don't like. Imagine marrying someone, and you find out that you both are completely uncompatible in the bedroom. Sex is a big part of marriage, despite what others think. Just do it!

Answer 2

I think sex is for marriage because of this: When you are married, do you really want to be thinking about all the sex partners your spouse has ever had before you? Don't you think that they might sometimes think about the great sex they had with someone else? Would you want your spouse to think about other women they've seen naked? I know I wouldn't. Thats why out of respect for my husband I did not have sex until we were married. That way he doesn't have to think about all the men I've been with and because he also respected me (even before he met me) I never have to think about all the women he's been with. It just makes a beautiful thing when we have sex now just to know that we loved each other so much, even before we ever met, that we saved this fabulous experience for just each other. I can't tell you how many times we have looked at each other smiled and said "Man I'm glad I waited for you!"

Whatever people say about getting "practice" before the "real thing" and "making sure you're compatible" its all bogus. Take this from a married person who has friends who didn't wait. It's all bogus. Every person is different, all the practice in the world won't ensure that you can give your spouse exactly what they want. It's something you have to learn, so why not learn with your spouse? As far as compatibility, you'll never find someone perfectly compatible. You're GOING to have to work something out. And for another thing, marriage is NOT going to last very long if you base your decision on how your mate has sex with you. No marriage can last on sex alone. It's great fun, yeah, but if that's a big part of why you choose a spouse, it'll never work.

I think it's best to establish your relationships without sex being involved because as soon as sex gets introduced, communication goes down the toilet. You stop talking as much and then you just want to touch and play. THat doesn't help your relationship grow very much. If you establish a talking relationship and your guy respects that, you know you've got a good one. Any guy who wants to get in your pants as soon as possible is NOT THE ONE!

Anyway, that's my take on sex before marriage.

Answer 3

The way that I see it is this: It seems like marriages used to last until death do you part and now most children do not know what it is like to have both parents around all the time. My mom and dad claimed they were virgins when they got married and had a wonderful marriage until he died last year. Myself, I wonder if I can find the perfect marriage like that because I am not a virgin and have a child and an ex-husband (We were not virgins when we got married).

My theory is this: when people waited to have sex until marriage it seemed that it lasted longer because they didn't have anyone to compare their partner to. I personally think though that since I'm not a virgin, I do want to know if my man is good in bed before I would marry him. To each his own but I think the old-fashioned way worked better for marriages than sleeping around.

Answer 4

If you wait until marriage then what have you got to compare a healthy sex life with? How do you know if it is going to be satisfying or not? Once you are married then you are stuck and if you are not compatible in the bedroom, then life will become very dull indeed. What if he only has a one inch penis....once you sign that dotted line, you stuck with his one inch....lol

I dont believe you should sleep around however, I think you will know when the time is right. Just make sure he loves you for you and is not going to use you just for sex. I think a person falls in love many times in their life, and with each love you get to know what it is that really makes you happy. To have a full and satisfying relationship, communication. trust, respect and sex/intimacy all go hand in hand in love. But how would you ever know what it is that makes you trully happy and satisfied if you dont experience all of the above. If you only experience the communication the trust and the love, only to find out he is a terrible lover, then you are in for a really bumpy marriage.

It is a personal thing, and only you can decide when you are ready. Your parents only have your best interests at heart and probably because of all the sexually transmitted deseases around these days, they just want you to be safe. Maybe instead of telling you to wait until you are married, maybe they should be educating you about safe sex practices. I dont know of many people these days who wait until marriage to experience sex, so for health reasons I would really be teaching my teenager about healthy sex practices. I dont think it would be condoning sex....it is just being realistic. And if youre a together young girl, then you arent going to do anything stupid anyway. Making love to someone you love is a precious gift and you should think very carefully before engaging in any sexual activities. The man who receives your special gift should be honoured that you love him enough to give it to him.

Just make sensible choices and be safe.

Answer 5

I am married, but I think that sex should be saved for a marriage relationship. It is meant to be a very intimate act of love with someone you love.

Outside of marriage, there are just too many risks (std's)and consequences (pregnancy, remember birth control is not fool proof!)- and having sex outside marriage makes for really painful breakups for at least one of the partners, if not both.

If you choose sex before marriage, you should at least be old enough to deal with the any negative consequences - and not have your parents bail you out..

Answer 6

The whole idea of abstinence [ which I personally don't agree with] really begs for a qualifier as in" One should abstain from having sex until they are married or until they have reached their twentieth birthday "
People are getting married a lot later in life than they once did and asking people to abstain from sex until they are in their late twenties or early thirties really strains the credibility of the whole idea.

Answer 7

Not sure I had sex before marriage. But make sure its what you want before you do it. Cause once you do it there is no going back.

Answer 8

yes.. aside from the fact that its part of "values" we've been taught, its something to look forward to.. lol patience is a virtue.. you got a lot things to do other than sex.. talk.. learn about each other's lives.. go out with each other's friends.. stufss like that.. conventional but it develops friendship between you and your partner.. if it matter to you though..

but its a consensual activity.. if its okay with you and your partner, why not..

Answer 9

Who really waits this day and age. I agree with being with one person obviously. I am married but my husband wasnt my first and i wasnt his. He says now he knows what real love is. Would that have happened if i was his first? Who knows im glad he had other people because we both now know what we really need and want. This time it will be forever between he and I.

Answer 10

I would say to at least SAVE IT FOR YOUR COLLEGE DAYS !! Finding one of us men to wait until marriage happens as often as winning the lottery anyway. Why don't you ask your parents if THEY were virgins until they were married.