He's never mad.... never has issues.... but I cant even bring up money without him shutting me out. We have been together for 10 years and it is a good relationship but I cant discuss anything with him and I am tired of making all the decisions.
2006-11-28 07:15:11 · 17 answers · asked by care_bear1108 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He pays the bills with his paycheque and I have no clue whats going where. and i cant quit when it comes to our children and school. I just want to feel that this is a partnership and that we are making decisions together.
2006-11-28 07:23:22 · update #1
My hubby is the same way....we've only been together for 5 years, but I've learned to deal with it. I've resigned myself to the fact that I am and will always be the decision maker. And even when I try to discuss everyday life stuff, I've learned that even though he may not say much in response, I know he's listening to and considering what I'm saying....and when it really counts, he will say something.....good luck with working this out!
2006-11-28 07:22:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you have a good relationship, but can't get him to discuss anything with you for ten years. You could try to just stop making the decisions and force him to make the decisions. Also, ask him questions like, should I do this or that. Give him a choice and try to get him to make that choice.
2006-11-28 07:32:24 · answer #2 · answered by rec 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really too bad, but he probably just doesn't want to take responsibility for things like finances. It might be that he's afraid he'll mess things up, or he just prefers to let you do it since you always have.
Sounds like he's got a strong feeling of inferiority or insecurity that won't allow him talk about or share his ideas on most things, at least with you. You need to approach this 'holistically', meaning you can't just get him to start communicating without finding the source of his reluctance to do it, get him to admit it, and hopefully, lovingly relate to him how burdensome it is for you.
You'd both be a lot happier if he could get past this obstacle, but it's deeply rooted and not easy to overcome.
2006-11-28 07:29:15 · answer #3 · answered by PacificArts72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can't be a good relationship if you aren't communicating.
Maybe it's time to stop discussing things with him and start having conversations with him. Talk to him about casual things, things that interest him. At the very least it will encourage him to open his mouth.
It's important too, that while he is talking, you are listening and not interrupting or not hearing what he is saying because you are figuring out what you are going to say next.
Take baby steps. Eventually, you should be able to ask how he feels about your finances and other dialogues about responsibilities/serious issues.
Good Luck.
2006-11-28 07:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by Shelly L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not unusual in a long term relationship for there to be a division of duties in the home. Ask him if he wants to assist in the decisions regarding the mooney and if not at least make sure he is doing his fair share in other areas.
2006-11-28 07:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This issue is favourite in relationships that are demise a gradual lack of existence. at the same time as i do not comprehend how lengthy you've being in this relationship, it ought to seem that you've both get bored and are in a rut .My suggestion is to guage your modern emotions. once you comprehend, then seek for suggestion out of your bf and observe when you're nonetheless in sync.when you're both on a similar web page and the hearth remains burning pink warm, then you definitely can talk a thanks to refresh, re energize, and rebuild the want and charm that first presented you mutually.as a replace, it must be time to allow move; and move your separate approaches, as confusing and painful as that action may be.On uncommon events, which may be the proper procedure action.
2016-11-27 19:29:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with the same woman from ages 17 until I was 44. I was VERY happy 50% of the time. After she took the initiative to "step out", I gave her the boot.
With the exception of our daughter, I feel i wasted my life for most of those years.
Do yourself a favor - be happy and don't waste ANY time on feeling committed to someone who you can't even have a discussion with.
2006-11-28 07:19:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you quit. Tell him you are NO LONGER going to make all of the financial decisions and he will either help or you two will lose everything because noone will be paying the bills. Ultimatums suck but relationships are not one way streets!
2006-11-28 07:16:41 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This sounds exactly like my marriage. My wife has money issues. She doesn't want to talk about her money with me at all. It's funny; her money is her money and my money is our money. She has to always be in control of everything. I'm serious. Talk with your husband about things that HE likes. What are his hobbies? What does he like to do? Maybe you and he could do his hobby or sporting activity together. You may get him to be a little more vocal, and if he starts talking with you about things he likes and you seem interested, then you could start interjecting things you want to discuss.
2006-11-28 07:19:46 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. KdK 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there is obviously something buried issues with the situation with your husband. This may lie much deeper. Try to see if you could get him to talk without you saying anything. Sometimes the best way to get someone to talk is to not say anything at all.
2006-11-28 07:24:23 · answer #10 · answered by Me~Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋