i am always afraid i will hurt feelings or someone will be mad at me i am so stressed from trying to make everone happy help
2006-11-28 07:04:57 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I used to be like this. But here's the question: so what if they do get mad? Will your family or kids hate you forever? I doubt it. You're not doing anyone a favor by not sticking up for yourself. You're stressing yourself out and you're teaching the people around you how to treat you. It's OK, by your actions, to treat mommy like a doormat. Is it OK? Hell no! You're also doing a huge disservice to everyone...particularly the kids...if they think the world always goes their way. Better to learn the lesson from people who love you than having an employer or college professor or future significant other telling you how it really is. Good luck.
2006-11-28 07:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I pretty much went through a break down .. this may be slightly melodramatic as i never went to the doctor but i'm pretty sure thats what it was .. anyway the reason for this was that I was trying to make everyone happy and not let anyone down , including myself. It turns out this is just not possible as everyone has different opinons and there is no truth .. truth does not exist .. as it is objective .. plus no one around you would want you to be unhappy by helping them. Just relax and remember the person you need to help most is yourself .. only then can u help other people.
2006-11-28 15:09:02 · answer #2 · answered by Wiplash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop agreeing to everything all the time. Start in small ways. Practice saying "no" to a small thing at first and if they are upset or hurt they will get over it. Allow yourself to live with someone being slightly disappointed for a short while. Realize it will not kill them not to get what they want and it will not kill you to disappoint someone. Practice saying no to things that you don't believe in or don't think you ought to do.
One important thing is not to overexplain. Just state your reason once in a short sentence and then don't argue about it. Say, "I am not going to discuss this with you anymore. I have made my decision." If you argue they will get the hope that they can eventually talk you out of it (especially because they usually do.) Don't let them. If you overexplain, it makes you sound insecure with your decision. That will also make them try to talk you out of it. Just say "no" once and practice allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable for a little while. Once you do it a bunch of times the discomfort will go away.
2006-11-28 15:11:03 · answer #3 · answered by braennvin2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well,if you suffer enough,you'll change.those who love you understand no and won't ask more of you than you can give,those who can't handle no and find you offensive for being human,screw em.being who you are weeds out the phonys,the ones who truly love you do so for who you are ,really are.
2006-11-28 15:10:14 · answer #4 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋