I'm so confused. My husband is the most wonderful person in the world and would do anything for me when things in our relationship are good. But when I'm upset with him it's like he can't handle it. He completly looses his cool. He yells, and tells me the most horrible things to get to me. He's gotton to the point to where he's getting physical with me. He's not hitting me or anything. But when I want to walk away he won't let me. He'll poke me and try to control me. He won't let me leave. I know he sounds like a jerk , but when we are not fighting he's a completly different person. Do you think he should see a Dr? Is there something wrong with him. The worste part is that he's blaming his behavior on me, because I irritate him and interupt him when he's mad. HELP!
2006-11-28 07:01:55 · 37 answers · asked by Regina D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetheart...not sure why you titled this bi-polar husband...but your husband IS physically, verbally and emotionally abusing you and you need to get out NOW. If he is bi-polar he can see a doctor and get on medication and then if you still want, the two of you can work on your marriage. But for now...you need to leave...you are not helping either of you. GBU
2006-11-28 07:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your title says 'Bi-Polar' what you don't say is whether that is a diagnosed condition or just your view. If you husband is genuinley bi-polar that can be diagnosed by a doctor. If that is just an expression you used, then maybe he needs to be checked out by a medic to make sure. There is the possibility that it is not a medical issue, more of a dysfunctional personality issue in his need to 'control' you. And, often times a controling personality will deny there is a probelm and focus blame on the partner. Easier to blame someone else than take responsibilty for their own behaviour.
2006-12-02 06:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is called verbal abuse and it will not stop until he realizes what he is doing-he will destroy your self esteem little by little by centering everything around himself. This type of abuse will only escalate and may become very physical. I suggest you tell him-when he isn't upset or mad-what this treatment is doing to you-make him understand that you will not live this way for the rest of your life and if things don't change there will be consequences. If he truly cares about you he will do everything in his power to change his inappropriate behavior-counseling may be the answer. The worst thing you could do is ignore his behavior-it won't change that way and you will only become more and more miserable. Hopefully he will be willing to get some help to ave the relationship-and to save you-never forget that a women never deserves to be treated in this way-regardless- no excuse for it. Remember who you are-you wouldn't reat him that way-best wishes!
2006-11-28 07:16:14 · answer #3 · answered by laura_lovely_sweet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is bi-polar and was only prescribed Zoloft?!!! I would assume he would have been prescribed an atypical or a mood stabilizer alone, or in addition to Zoloft, since that seems very bizarre. Sometimes if a person who is diagnosed with BPD is prescribed an anti-depressant, they become manic or hypomanic. I suggest that this patient see a psychiatrist ASAP in order to CORRECTLY diagnose his problem and prescribe the CORRECT medication. It sounds as if he is spiraling out of control. Good luck...
2016-05-22 22:52:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has not gotten to the point of hitting you .......YET! It is coming! I don't care how wonderful he is when he is not angry, you need to get your things and go! He fits the profile of an out of control abusive personality! They ALWAYS blame the spouse for their abusive actions! My friend was married to this type and he did not hit her for the first 5 years of marriage! He mentally abused her and blamed her for everything! After 5 years of marriage, he started punching her around. He must of broke at least 20 bones and ribs in her body. After 20 years of marriage when she finally left him, he shot her through her front door. She died in her 15 year old son's arms! If you don't want to end up like her, please leave now! If he gets help then reconsider. Until then, stay away from him! She was wiped away by one bullet! She was a mother and a wonderful friend. I miss her.
2006-11-28 07:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by Marie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs help, at best. And it will only work if he is willing and able to accept it and use it for good. Hopefully you can see for yourself that this only has potential to get worse, his behavior is obviously becoming progressively more volatile. And with him blaming you, its a sure sign of some psychological issues. He is validating his violence. It is NOT your fault... remember that!
When he is in a good stage, talk to him about it, tenderly and lovingly. If he denies or shrugs it off, you will have to find the strength to leave. And you will have to leave secretly. Your life may very well depend on it!
People with BP can be treated medicinally and with counseling, and live normal lives... but only if they are completely compliant with treatment!
Good luck and God bless...
2006-11-28 08:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
last time i checked we as americans are free to come and go as we please.it does sound llike your husband may have some mental health issues.however getting him to see it may be a whole different story.The extreme mood swings ,the blaming game is an attempt to be in control when he feels he has control of nothing.do you want to be controlled or do you want a partner in this thing we call life.ask you husband after doing a little research via the internet on bi polar/manic mostly episodes.you will have to approach him when hes not in a manic state.best luck ,i hope you will find the answer you need,be careful and protect yourself.
2006-11-28 07:12:56 · answer #7 · answered by resigned 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh....the blame game. The blame game is this game that people play to try to divert the attention off of them when their is an issue they don't want to accept responsibility for. Don't let them do it! I don't think your husband has a medical problem. I will bet you he carried on this way as a child also when things did not go his way. Somehow this is working for him and as long as it does it will continue. The two of you need to find a different way to communicate, and you will need to find a way to communicate with him so he doesn't react this way. You can set up counseling for the two of you, or start reading books on relationships and communication.
2006-11-28 07:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have seen bi-polar behavior, and this sounds exactly like it. Your husband needs help. Medications can help control the bi-polar affective disorder (also known as "manic depression"), but he has to stay on it.
I work in Hollywood, and there are a lot of bi-polar people who work and live day-to-day lives. Actress Patty Duke had talked extensively about her bi-polar condition, as has actor Maurice Benard, who plays "Sonny" on "General Hospital."
The bad news is, there is no "cure" for it; the good news is, it is treatable, but he has to stick with the medication and treatment. The other part of this treatment is, you have to be willing to make the commitment to stay around to help him through the rough times.
Please insist that he get the help he needs. If he refuses, keep trying. If he continually refuses, you have to leave him for your own safety. God bless and good luck.
2006-11-28 07:13:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is NOT bi-polar; take it from one who knows. He's an abusive controller & I imagine that it won't be long before he becomes physically abusive. Poking isn't exactly a love pat. If you don't have any children, get out before you do.
See how he feels about counseling but I bet he doesn't think he needs it.
2006-11-28 07:06:14 · answer #10 · answered by Judith 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋