I have been married 10 yrs and have 4 kids. My hubby treats me well but treats the kids like dirt. I'm worried about our kids and I worry about their future. I told my husband that they are going to grow up to think it's okay to hurt your children. The kids fight with each other and hurt each other. Hubby gets mad but I say they learned it from their dad. So I need to leave to gets the kids out of the house and away from him but I have not worked in 10 yrs, have no money, no credit and health issues that keep me home most of the time. I also have no friends or family support. I live in a small town so going to a shelter means driving 40 miles and pulling the kids out of school.
The kids are 9, 7, 5 and 3. The 5 yr old and hubby already fight alot. I told hubby that our son is going to be bigger and stronger than him one day and will take him down. Hubby says Good, can't wait.
Sorry so long so now what do I do?
2006-11-28 06:55:22 · 8 answers · asked by emily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do stop it. I stop it all the time. I have left several times. But with out any where to go I have to come back. I have told hubby he needs help. I have told him he can leave anytime he wants. I know that I will end up in jail. I know. I protect the kids a best as I can.
Ya'll have given me the courage to tell him to get out. I've told him many times in the past but tonight I will give him an ultamatium. (can't spell) Get help with the anger or leave.
Thank you and God Bless!
2006-11-28 07:20:36 · update #1
Well, I think you shouldn't have to leave. HE should. Why disrupt the kids lives because of their jerk father. Ask your husband to leave. That way you and the kids are still in their home and don't have to leave school. Do you have a church? Church's are always willing to help. You didn't tell what you health issues are but maybe you can get help for it so you can work. Most cities have social services and legal aid. Call them . They can help you get on your feet and with a divorce if necessary. But make HIM leave you and your kids shouldn't have to. Good luck dear and God Bless.
2006-11-28 07:13:40 · answer #1 · answered by cranky_gut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drive the 40 miles after you pull your kids out of school and go to the shelter if it's that bad. The things your kids experience now will be what they do when they get older.
2006-11-28 15:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by fedupwithu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know exactley what youre dealing with
my hubby is exactly the same
great to me
not to the kids
big problem
my hubby was a marine served in the war and all of that
so he has a really hard time dealing with his emotions
anger and all of that
i told him that he has to get help now right now because by this time next year if hes not better im gone with the kids
i was pressuring him to go and all of that
but it never mattered
so i set a date
i told him our sons bday next year
if hes not changed were gone
keep in mind it takes a long time for a person to completly change their personality...but dont wait ten yrs going "hes getting help hes getting help and hes sorry"
like i said
a year
thats plenty of time
and if he doesnt
leave
not that you have to file for divorce
just leave
the bible says "take your leave"
if its that bad go, but give him a chance
and then after youve left
if hes seeking help
go back
but wait until he "better"
not to put him down but he might try that whole "getting help" until you come back noise
you dont want that
and as far as not having a job and all of that
you can get assistance and stuff like that
besides god will provide for your needs as long as youre seeking him first
let him worry about all that
do what he wants
he doesnt want your kids to get hurt
and he doesnt want you to get divorced
but like he said "take your leave"
2006-11-28 18:49:31 · answer #3 · answered by jes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the shelter anyway, no matter how far it is. You need to do whats best for your children and this man is no father. Its not gonna hurt them missing a little school but it will hurt them to stay where they are.
2006-11-28 14:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear - Pack your kids and your stuff, take them out of school and get to the shelter. Why on earth have you waited ten years. Do it now TODAY. Your children are being hurt...there IS NO OTHER ANSWER. GBU
2006-11-28 15:04:18 · answer #5 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave now because if he hurts the kids and you did nothing how would you feel then?You could also be charged with child endangerment if you don't.
2006-11-28 15:07:44 · answer #6 · answered by carebear3158 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a bigger problem if you know this and letting it happen .....do you think if one of your kids reported him for child abuse that you aren't goin to go to jail too....think again.......you are gonna be charged with the same thing because you knew but didn't do anything about it..............don't be surprised if it happens sooner than u think.......The Holidays brings out the worst in people................
2006-11-28 15:04:28 · answer #7 · answered by mojajazmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the cops, the next time he lays a hand on the kids.
2006-11-28 15:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋