I was away for 2 months, I came back to my apartment that my boyfriend and I share and I have 2 bras missing, my shotglasses lost, and I think condoms missing though I'm not sure. When I ask him he gets upset saying it's insulting I think he would cheat. I do not cheat tho I have been cheated on before so I guess I'm a little worried but I've had quite a few dreams of him cheating and he's been calling/recieving calls from his coworkers who suddenly are having relationship problems....I love my boyfriend, but he has one big secret, from before we met...and just that he keeps that from me...bothers me....He wont even watch porn so I don't think he'd cheat...but I was away so he went from getting some every day or atleast whenever he wanted to getting nothing at all...so I'm just lost.
2006-11-28 06:54:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
insecure a little,are there any other signs.unexplained money missing,new jewlery,or new underwear for him not tighty whitys?ask him what this big secret is a a true and open relationship knowing everything is what belongs on the table.Where where you for those two months?is he worried that you were with someone else.keep those lines of communications open or your find yourself on the road to failure.Explain to him how much you love him and that you feel that heis holding back on info is putting a wedge then listen to see what is said.you may not like it,it could be anything.sometimes men who dont watch "porn" could be anything from simply having respect for a women the act of making love to he may have been abused in his life at some point this is very difficult for men to talk about the whole macho thing.listen be strong and find out the secret for both of your sakes.
2006-11-28 07:07:16 · answer #1 · answered by resigned 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex would "never" watch porn and constantly made cracks out sleazy women, cheating women, etc. I thought he was a snob, turned out he was a good liar. If you are feeling something is up then you are more than likely right. I didn't trust my feelings-intuition and it came back to bite me in the you know what. My ex would also talk to co-workers on his cell phone, turned out he was dating them. Keep an eye on his cell phone bill, try some of the unrecognizable numbers and see who answers. That's how I found out my ex had been going out on dates when he was supposed to be at work. His co-workers he was "just talking to" turned out be women he was cheating with. They didn't know I existed, they thought they were his one and only, all four of them! There shouldn't be any secrets, his secret probably has nothing to do with relationships but if he trusted you and cared he would spill the beans.
2006-11-28 07:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If all of that is missing, something odd is/was going on. There are checklists for a cheating partner and you need to see if he matches a significant amount of things on the list. Also, porn is good way to release when the boyfriend/girlfriend sexual needs don't match, so they WON'T cheat.
2006-11-28 07:00:37 · answer #3 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't cheat to have sex. Guys cheat because they are having some sort of problems. Missing bras, I don't know of any one woman who would dare wear another woman's bras. So I wouldn't worry about that, t he shot glasses, who cares, maybe he was drinking and broke one accidentally, and the condoms, needless to say, next time you go away, count them first.
2006-11-28 06:59:20 · answer #4 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just cause he does not watch porn with you does not mean he wont do it behind you back trust me I know. If he is making you feel all these things you are probably right your instincts are usually correct you were gone a long time I would move on
2006-11-28 07:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And your question IS????? If you were living in the same apartment, and you were gone for two months, likely he has had a lady there.... If that's a dealbreaker, ask him to leave. If you can get over it, then bury the issue, and get on with your life. with him... ( as far as his big secret....What or who he was before you met isn't really very important, hon. It is what he is now that is.....)
2006-11-28 07:01:10 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you use those four terms to ask your question. It sounds to me that you are rightfully concerned. Your things are missing and your BF can't give you a straight answer plus he keeps secrets. If he can't or wont come clean and open up to you it may be time to move on.
2006-11-28 07:01:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sydney is right. Even if he's not cheating, you don't have a strong enough relationship to deal with your suspicions rationally. TIme to move on. And possibly time to look at yourself and ask, can I build a relationship of trust?
2006-11-28 07:01:10 · answer #8 · answered by JJ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would not waste my time with a guy who makes you feel all those things. Obviously, there are lots of issues going on. Let him go and find someone you trust.
2006-11-28 06:57:01 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he is taking offense instead of reassuring you of his commitment I would be concerned as well...Never under estimate your instinct! It is something we women are blessed with! Best Wishes!
2006-11-28 06:58:27 · answer #10 · answered by laura_lovely_sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋