I left my ex-husband 2 years ago, because after 10 years of a miserable marriage, I was ready to move on. He was a verbally abusive to me, and our oldest daughter. He definitely has anger issues. I can no longer handle the 50/50 custody, the kids want to be at my house (the oldest cannot stand her father). I am ready to proceed in getting full custody ...however, he has re-married, and I am currently living with my boyfriend (with plans to get married). My question is...do I stand a better chance of getting the custody of my children if I was married????
2006-11-28 06:47:47 · 12 answers · asked by shasta 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hun - This depends on your state laws and unfortunately on the judge who hears your case and his/her bias's. Its not a good to marry only for this reason but if your plans are to marry, it might help. Whatever you do, get an GOOD attorney with experience with the intricacies of family court. GBU
2006-11-28 06:53:34 · answer #1 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're being very selfish! Anyone who wants to take their life is selfish. Haven't you heard that? You need to get into some counseling. If your wife wants to attend also, hey the more the merrier!! Don't put those two precious kids thru the misery of you steppin' out the chicken-sh*t, cowardly way cuz you're feeling blue! If she isn't happy with anything, than have you asked her why? Have the two of you communicated in a while? Can the marriage be saved with some counseling or just a divorce? Get the divorce if that's the only think that's going to satisfy either one of you. Your kids deserve the two of you to at least try to make it work, but if ya all are still miserable, it's better for the kids if they have two seperate parents that are happy than two parents who stay together (miserably so) for the sake of the children!! Don't do that! Your kids can't be happy until YOU are happy!! Good Luck!
2016-05-22 22:49:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most judges don't want to upset the status quo which in your case is 50/50. So unless you have a strong case, i.e. proof of the abuse or older children who are really pushing not to see dad because of abuse....I think you are fighting an uphill battle. You do have the advantage since you are the mom but is it really worth the $$ and months, if not years, of fighting, children being placed square in the middle, risk of custody being awarded to your ex to try to get sole custody?
2006-11-28 07:16:39 · answer #3 · answered by haganmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't marry the boyfriend just because it will better your chances of getting custody. just my input.
however, what really matters is what is in the best interest of the children. such as school location , whether or not the children will be better provided for, so forth and so forth. and it also depends how old the children are. some states will ask the child when they reach a certain age which parent they want to live with.
2006-11-28 07:05:07 · answer #4 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the state in which you live. Some areas of the country are more liberal or progressive, whereas others are very stringent on family values and the MARRIED COUPLE. If you plan to get married, anyway, why not just get married sooner so there is no question, whatsoever, about your children living with their mother and stepfather.
2006-11-28 06:53:12 · answer #5 · answered by moniquebell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is all going to be tossed in front of a judge, you know that, right? And most judges will ask a child where he wants to live. Remember judges are a conservative bunch -- they like people who have the kids to be married. It may not win you your children, but it sure as heck wouldn't hurt it....
2006-11-28 06:55:57 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you alone can most likely get the children because you are the mother. the courts always favour the mother.
I'm taking early childhood education...so I know all about this...
Personally I would have you both sit down with the children, and let them choose who they prefere to live with...and no sweet talking the children....each of you tell them what their responcibilities would be at both homes and let them choose....but I believe whoever is best fit to have them all the time is who should have....it's all in the best interest of the children.
2006-11-28 07:05:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would help im sure, however, if you can prove that your kids would rather be with you, and there is no reason that the court didnt award you custody to begin with, then you should be fine!
2006-11-28 06:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn’t matter. As long as you can proof that your kids don’t want to see him, that they only want to be with you, you are ok. How old are your kids? Usually at age 8 or 10, they let them testify in court, or you can take them to a psychologist and they can write a letter stating how your kids feel around their dad and you can take that to court.
2006-11-28 06:53:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't look good in court if you are living with your boyfriend. To a judge, marriage equals stability.
2006-11-28 06:55:39 · answer #10 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋