I am engaged to the man of my dreams, i love him to death but recently one of my old loves has come into my life, we are just friends and i do not love him anymore than that but i am very very sexually attracted to him. I think about sex with him all of the time. I will never act on these feelings because i love my fiance and not the other guy(dont get me wrong my fiance is very hott and sexxy too). What do i do to make these sexual feelings go away? Its driving me crazy.
2006-11-28 06:41:19 · 26 answers · asked by Crystal J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this gut is good friends with my fiance
2006-11-28 06:51:39 · update #1
It is very important to realise that sexual attraction for other people does not diminish just because you are in another relationship. That said, you need to terminate all contact with the ex boyfriend. As long as you see him the desire will be there. Once you are out of his sight for a long enough time the desire will go away as well. In the meantime, when you and your fiancee make love, if you happen to fantasize about the other guy, at least temporarily, who's to know. : )
2006-11-28 06:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you point out, there's nothng wrong in your attraction to someone else sexually as long as you can refrain from acting on them. It's quite natural and you should acknowledge that. Don't be hard on yourself about getting those thoughts.
Staying intimate with your fiance is one way. The more sexually active you are with your fiance, the lesser you'll be thinking about it with your former.
Another way is to create more distraction. What I mean by that is, just to avoid focusing your sexual attention towards this one person, you may want to try pleasing yourself thinking about someone else or watching a movie or something.
You probably naturally have an above-average sexual drive and desire too. And when you do, it is also natural for you to not feel entirely satisified thinking about one person sexually.
This is one classic situation where you might be better off not being open about with your fiance ~ somethings are just fine the way they are :-)
2006-11-28 06:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by houstonian352000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a little getaway trip with your man. Realize how amazing your life is going to be together and focus only on him. Those other feelings will drift away. It's normal, you're human and everything will be ok. I just think right now would be the prime time to slip up because you're about to marry so stay focused on your man.
2006-11-28 06:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fantasizing about past relationships is pretty normal actually. But you may be wise to try and cut your ties with this ex if it is affecting how you feel/look at your fiance. And be careful when you say that you'd Never do something as you may end up eating these words.
2006-11-28 06:45:21 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely distance myself from the other man. You shouldn't be putting yourself in a situation that would compromise your morals. If what you are saying is right and that you truly do love your fiance that is what you should do. If you are questioning your relationship, I would definitely step back and reevaluate before taking the leap of marriage. Good luck to you!
2006-11-28 06:44:08 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, its normal to attracted to someone else sexually. But stick your guns and don't act on those feelings. But don't make a mistake and yell his name in bed with your fiance. Man, that would be trouble!!
2006-11-28 06:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by johnsonjrod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, the only thing to say is that i had the same situation but not to ur exent but i had an old gf and she came back I i was very sexually attracted to her but u just have to control your self the best as possible just try ur hardest not to give in to the sexually urges good luck
2006-11-28 06:45:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's driving you crazy because you like the sexual sensations of fantasizing.Get real and remember who you're with and quit playing little what if games.Too stress ful and could lead to hurt.
2006-11-28 06:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have the will-power to say "NO," keep seeing him. If not, don't see him anymore. Just tell him you're engaged! You can't have your cake and eat it to when you're engaged. Remember that. Be faithful to your 'groom to be.' In this respect, think of your future. Just don't think about today. Triangle romances are bad, bad, bad. Good luck!
HANK (Josh)
2006-11-28 06:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can start by not being around this old flame. It doesnt sound like to me that anything good is going to come out of it. You are seeing red flags already so why push your luck?
2006-11-28 06:45:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋