my wife of 4 years and the mother of my daughter just discovered her ex-boyfriend from 9 nine years ago on myspace. She has made contact with him and is now talking to him online more during the day while he's at work. I have heard about this boyfriend before and what a good relationship they had although short. He broke up with her and it broke her heart. I am very uncomfortable with this situation, but she insists it's nothing, just talking. I am afraid of the worst so obviously I'm insecure, which led to a few arguments over this. Yet, she still insists that it's nothing and that I should trust her. She say's he's just a nice guy and that she would like to be friends with him.
2006-11-28 06:40:42 · 23 answers · asked by Sam Adams 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is definitely trouble brewing. She obviously still has something for him, since she sought him out on MySpace and is actively chatting. Never trust a partner who still talks to their ex!
2006-11-28 06:44:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Did you read this: 1. Talks to his ex daily (are you sure the divorce is final) 2. We're just friends (come on) 3. Bank account together (and he's not afraid of her cleaning him out) 4. She has his life insurance (again, come on) 5. Picture of them in "their" old house (doesn't sound too final does it) 6. argue and make up (why argue with an ex) He's still with her, at least emotionally. This gives you nothing.
2016-05-22 22:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry man, but regardless of what others tell you this is not acceptable in a marriage. It's ok for a wife to have guys friends, unless its someone shes had sex with in the past. The only time that should be acceptalbe is is there are kids involved. Set some limits in your marriage. How would she feel if you are doing the same thing to her?
2006-11-28 06:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by tac 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your really insecure in your relationship.
I am married and talk on line with several old boyfriends. My husband knows they are just friends and that's all they ever will be again.
If my marriage wasn't good it wouldn't be them I would be turning too. Why would I want to go back to something that didn't work in the first place.
You should show trust in your wife. That is important and as long as you love her and treat her well you shouldn't have a problem in your marriage.
2006-11-30 13:57:54 · answer #4 · answered by Ruairi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that it sounds like there's trouble brewing. The only thing you can control is how you react to the situation. She might just be temporarily trying to boost her ego by assuring herself that her ex is still interested in her. If you overreact to that situation, you might actually push her into his arms.
On the other hand, it might be more than her just trying to boost her ego. In that case, any jealousy or anger you show will just be used against you later.
In any case, the best thing for you to do right now is just to be really nice to her and not make any threats or accusations. You might nicely tell her that you're afraid of losing her to him, but don't make any threats or demand that she answer any questions. In the end, no matter how it turns out, you'll know you did the right thing.
2006-11-28 06:49:07 · answer #5 · answered by farmgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your wife has never done anything to not deserve your trust then what do you have to worry about. I think that if two people really love each other, then they must trust each other.After all its you she chose to marry and have a child with. Having friends of the opposite sex shouldn't be something that causes you stress. An ex of mine from 30 years ago recently called me, and my Husband was excited for me. I'm sure that your wife loves you and talking to an old friend just shouldn't be that big of a deal.
2006-11-28 06:50:06 · answer #6 · answered by LofanNui 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
as a person in a committed relationship that still taks to her ex i offer you this advice... take into consideration the dynamics of their "friendship". does he have someone else in his life? what do they talk about? have they made plans to meet? were they friends before they went out? it could be that he really is just an old friend that she wants to catch up with. if you ask her these questions and she either isn't completely forthcoming and honest with you there may be something brewing that she doesn't want you to know about... that's when its time to take a step back and give her the ultimatum. if you go to her accusing her of having feelings that she may or may not have you are only going to make the situation worse and most likely drive her into the other mans arms.
2006-11-28 06:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, she shouldn't be talking to him. This is a very dangerous thing for her to be doing since he broke up with her and she still had feelings for him. Even if she says now that it's innocent it can lead to bad things in the future. It's inappropriate and crossing too many boundaries. I would give her an ultimatum and stand by it.
2006-11-28 06:57:22 · answer #8 · answered by Mom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Soon they will be friends "with benefits". I suppose she hasn't confessed that he's much better in bed than you are....yet???
You know he is. Probably hung like a horse and your wife is drooling over the possibility of reaquainting herself with his big hard c**k. May as well quit putting off the inevitable. Tell her to invite him over and maybe they'll let you watch em get it on. You might pick up some tips on how to turn your wife on.
2006-11-28 08:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are insecure and realizing this is a good thing. What are you afraid of? There are alot of people who are friends with their ex's wheather it be a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife and the people they are with for the most part are ok with this. My wife is still her ex's best friend. They talk at least once a week and he has become a part of our family which i am very greatfull for. I believe it takes a bigger person to accept their weeknesses and work on them as a couple. Ask yourself, has she ever givin you any reason to NOT trust her??? Good luck
2006-11-28 07:43:29 · answer #10 · answered by lostlifehard 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋