I miscarried this morning at 6a.m. Too many questions here. Please help?

Question

I have spent the last couple of days in the hospital due to miscarrying. This was my first pregnancy and I am really tore up. I blame myself and I cry all the time. What can I do to ease my pain and stop crying? How long should I wait before trying again? It took me 11 months to get pregnant with this one. How can I be heathier to get pregnant again?

Answer 1

Nothing you can do will ease your pain right now, you need to be gentle with yourself cry if you want to, scream if you want to. You deserve to, you have lost the most precious thing.
I would recommend looking for a miscarriage/infant loss support group on the internet and joining I am in one and they really help you through the lowest points.
It is recommended that you wait 3 months before trying again and believe me I know this can seem like forever if thats all you want to do (I've been waiting 2 years and need to wait longer ) but the main reason for this is, your womb has been through a lot lately, if you got pregnant again sooner the lining may not be thick enough yet to support a baby which could lead to you miscarrying again. Of course some ladies do get pregnant again straight away and have healthy pregnancies but its a chance I wouldn't take.
I hope you have some support at the moment, don't be afraid of your feelings. I will be thinking of you and your baby.

Answer 2

First and foremost, no one can predict the future. You can't blame yourself. Crying is a natural emotion, let the tears flow. When the time is right, the tears will stop and the pain will ease. There's no one thing that's gonna guarantee the next time you'll be healthier. Talk with your doctor before becoming pregnant so soon after this. I had two babies back to back. They're birthdays are four days apart. As a result I have numerous problems the most major being a really large hernia that has done damage to my intestines (it was inoperable due to the pregnancy). Before you know it, you'll have your bundle of joy and the timing will be perfect.

Answer 3

I'M SO SORRY!!! That's really a horrible thing to go through. I don't think it was anything that you did unless there is something you're not telling us. As long as you took care of yourself and didn't do any drugs or anything like that, you should not blame yourself! It just was not meant to be yet! It's really going to be hard getting over this and it will definitely take time - but time heals everything! I would wait at least a month or two before re-trying. As for being healthier - don't smoke or drink or do drugs and exercise and eat right. Once again, I'm very sorry for what happened and I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

I am so sorry to hear this. I have had two miscarriages in the past and now am 32 weeks pregnant with a healthy boy. Things happen for a reason and it will take time but you will be able to get through this. What I found to help was 1-- to talk about it & 2-- I wrote a letter to each one of them. Then whenever I feel sad I read it and it makes me feel alot better. I started trying a month after. Good luck with everything and it will happen one day.

Answer 5

Hold on, slow down. Give your mind and body time to adjust to this awful event.

I'm so sorry you miscarried. You need time to grieve for the loss of your child and time for your hormones to settle down.

The miscarriage is not your fault. It happens all too frequently. Crying is okay, you need to release pent up emotions...it won't go on forever but for now let the tears come.

Tears, talking and time will ease the pain. You'll never forget your first child, it will always be a part of you.

There will come a time when you won't be grieving so hard and you feel stronger. Then is the time to try again.

Don't be afraid of the pain, let it wash over you. It is natural though very hard to go through.

Best wishes

Answer 6

honey, I know how you feel. I have miscarried before. It's not an easy thing to go through. Don't blame yourself. It's just not time. God will give you the blessing of a beautiful baby when he feels its time. I miscarried twins. I still hurt inside but after 5 years I was finally blessed with a baby girl as you will be blessed one day. Don't give up. I can't say it will be easy but the pain and tears will slowly go away. My doctor said to make sure I had lots of folic in my diet. Don't try for a while, your body needs to heal physically and emotionally. Good luck sweetie, god bless you and your family in this sorrowful time. e mail me if u need to talk. I m not online much but i will help in any way that I can. [e-mail]

Answer 7

I can't imagine what you're going through, but I wish you the best! You should wait at least 3 months before getting pregnant (but some doctors recommended longer for certain situations). To be as healthy as you can be before the next pregnancy you should start an exercise program, take the prenatal vitamins and start a good balanced diet. Those few things will give your body a great boost! Good Luck, God Bless!

Answer 8

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. The most important thing is to just allow yourself to process this. People will tell you things like "oh you can have another baby" or "it was meant to be"..but I feel that those statements invalidate the fact that you lost a baby. You may have another but you wanted THIS one.

I think people just don't know what to say.

Just let yourselv grieve but please know that it WASN'T your fault.

As for trying again, I think most doctors tell you to wait 3 months if you've had a D & C or 1 cycle if you miscarried naturally. I think you just need to wait until you feel comfortable.

And please know that MOST women who miscarry go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies next time.

Answer 9

i'm so sorry u r going thru this.i did,too.is there a best friend,mom,aunt,church counselor,or someone u can talk to?this helps.dont blame urself.u did ur best.i know that u did!i did,too.followed every rule and bit of advice the dr gave me,but it happened anyway.its normal to feel guilty,but eventually,u will realise ,it was some glitch in biology or nature,it wasntt that u made any mistakes !u wanted that baby so much,and tried ur best,try not to blame urself.i dont know any answers,but a counselor does help.many communities and churches have free grief counseling.it helps.good luck in the future,and again,my every sympathy for ur loss.dont be to hard on urself.nurture urself and heal.i hope life gives u every thing u need.take care.

Answer 10

one in three pregnancies is a miss carry. I am sorry about it. Its not your fault and first you need to understand that. I would wait until you are emotionally stable and over this loss before you start trying again. And know that you may have another miss carriage but it will happen for you. Stay with the same doctor the more they know about you the more than can do to help you conceive and carry to full term. I wish you the best of luck and once again I am sorry for your loss.