Got married to a great guy, problem is we were together so long beforehand, i dont think im in love anymore. Whats a girl to do?
2006-11-28 06:12:25 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get to the root of your issue before trying to solve it. Meaning... why do you think you're not in love with him anymore? When you can answer that question.. then move on to the next one like: What was it that made you fall in love with him in the first place? Being together for a long period of time before marrying someone assures both parties are going to be true to eachother for the long run. Short term problems do arise from time to time, but they can be handled as soon as they occur. Chances are you must have had a notion before getting married that you weren't in love with him anymore & married him anyways because it felt safe & secure. Totally normal, & understandable. In my opinion, if he's a great guy.. then what is it about you that's changed so, that you don't think you're in love with him anymore? Sometimes, we fall in love & everythings grand, then fall out of love for trivial things. It doesn't mean we don't still love that person, it just means those little fireworks aren't there anymore. So, in order for the fireworks to be there, you have to work on bringing them back. Dating, chasing, flirting etc. Sometimes a person gets caught up in the "chase" for so long, that when they're caught, they don't think it's fun anymore & want to find someone else to chase them. Perhaps, you & your husband need to return to the chase stages. Those things you did before you got married are the little things that helps to keep a marriage alive. ;)
2006-11-28 06:24:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you get married in the first place? Did you think that it would change things and spice things up? When people are together a long time before getting married it oftens breaks down because they are expecting a marriage to address problems and change the dimensions of the relationship. Only you know your feelings and whether you can recover from this or not. I suspect not but i wouldn't feel guilty about it. Do whatever you think is going to take you forward and make sure think about it properly and maybe discuss it with your husband? He may feel similar even though you love each other still.
2006-11-28 16:30:58 · answer #2 · answered by peachy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There ain't much u can do....It happens...people get tired of each other...the only thing u can do is tell him that u don feel the same way anymore...and u guys don have to stop seein each other u can be friends...Relationships can be hard...especially when u get married bc it comes stressful...Everyone get's that feeling sometime...it changes...b4 i got married me and my husband held hands and kissed a lot and cuddled and we have been 2gether for about a year and a half we got married and now..we hardly kiss..hardly hold hands..(yeah we have sex)...but it doesn't feel the same i still love him but it's not a butterfly in the stomach feeling anymore...it happens..u might want to tell him though..staying married could stop u from seeing other people...but at this point there ain't much u can do u can't jus stay in love with someone ur not really interested in anymore...u could try working things out 2gether...either love is there or it's not...u gotta find it...if it's not there then let it go maybe u guys were better off jus friends...
2006-11-28 14:20:47 · answer #3 · answered by BurgNavigator 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were together for so long before hand? What does that have to do with it. How long did you estimate your marriage was going be anyway. "Oh, time's up! We've been together too long. I don't love you anymore, I gotta go!" That makes no sense. I don't mean to be so harsh but what is really going on here? Are you too young and antsy, or is reality not all so great compared to the Disney fairy tales we were all raised on?
2006-11-28 14:19:01 · answer #4 · answered by mr_slacker70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 choices I guess - stay or go.
If you really think its over then leave but sometimes people just get stuck in a routine. Try spicing things up a bit, do different things and basically try and remember all of the things that you fell in love with at the beginning.
I don't believe people necessarily fall out of love, its just that life gets in the way (paying the bills, work etc). If you try it and its still no good then you can leave knowing that you gave it your best shot.
Good luck x
2006-11-28 14:17:06 · answer #5 · answered by david326640 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should consider a seperation. How come you have realised that you don't love him?Or in love with him? I guess there is a difference. I supose that you thought it was the only thing left to do. Do authenticate your lives together...I am only guessing. How does he feel? Try talking to him. Best of luck x
2006-11-28 15:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by cinders 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what attracted you to him in the first place. There is nothing you can do, you got married. Live with your choices and work it out.
2006-11-28 14:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by johnsonjrod 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People don't just stop loving each other...it's still there...jazz things up. Get your grove on, spice it up, get sexy, make it a love fest party and have a wild time. Where's the spontaneity you ask? Well, just get all hotted up and you'll see.
2006-11-28 14:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to talk to him about it. or just a boredom? sometimes ina relationship you get bored, but after all your still inlove with this person after all. You have to make an effort to spice up your lovelife.goodluck! try watching "The bridge of Madison County".
2006-11-28 14:17:28 · answer #9 · answered by sure_whatever_29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you lost your spark, sorry but those vows do mean something - you shouldnt have rushed into it so quickly. Sucks to be you, your married - deal with it.
2006-11-28 14:17:00 · answer #10 · answered by Baghdad Pete ! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋