I have been married for 13 years. 8 months ago I found my HS sweetie on the classmates website. We've talked off and on ... on the phone. Right away that incredible love feeling came back and I realized that I never felt that for my husband. There are a lot of reasons, I'm sure I shut people out due to the fact I was raised in an alcoholic family and was verbally abused. I think when I lost my 1st love, I lost faith in people, was never able to trust again. I have learned so much from this experience. And I know I have hurt my husband too. My children, 12 & 8 are not aware of what has been going on, although every time my phone rang lately, my husband would ask if it was my "boyfriend calling" in front of them.
My husband and I married with a lot of emotional baggage, though mine was more severe. And all this has started a recovery process. I left a message on my ex's cell phone... "I'm letting go of you... Good luck with your family. Have a nice life... bye." He may call me back.
2006-11-28 05:54:13 · 19 answers · asked by :-) literary cappy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good for you, Emotional affairs can lead to worse.
Get the book Love must be tough by James Dobson, and the Proper care and feeding husbands by Dr. Laur Shlessinger
Make sure that all ties to this other man is over!
Work on your marriage and start seeing the first reason what made you want to love your husband the first place and why you married him.
Ask god to help you to restore your relationship>
Keep your focus, and start being accountable for your actions, and be very sincere with your husband.
I would go into long info for you, but I am running out of time, but the resources I have given you will help, and look on line as well of restoring relatinships.
Check your medical info make sure that there isn't no culprit hindereding your happness.
2006-11-28 06:11:24 · answer #1 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you have made the right decision. It took a lot of courage, and I'm proud of you. If you have learned from this experience you can build a more healthy relationship with your husband.
I suggest that you and your husband go get some counseling. Not long term stuff, just a few sessions to get the communication flowing. Perhaps to vent some feelings out in the open too.
He does need to refrain from speaking poorly of you in front of the children. That is his hurt and anger speaking, and that is why you need counseling.
2006-11-28 06:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hopefully you didn't just make a mistake... I went through the same thing but didn't get rid of my husband. I saw some old highschool friends, but I didn't do anything or cheat on my husband. The old young feeling came back etc. Its not your husaband's fault. I am sure you loved him for a reason. I hope you didn't make the worst mistake ever and what will happen when the young feeling wears off for you???
2006-11-28 06:03:56 · answer #3 · answered by KayAlley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife went tru the same. Only difference the guy was trying to take advantage of her, and she was thinking he loves her. She decided to stay with the family and stop, but he called her last words in our language and made sure as many as possible people at her company know about this. I found out by myself. She looks now a looser in front of everyone - friends, family, coworkers, me. What a shame. She got a warning from me for it to be first and last time.
It is your choice to completely stop it now or tell your husband and leave him for the boyfriend. They will find out anyways.
2006-11-28 06:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Mike S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any cheating, emotional or physical is selfish. If you were aware of all your troubles why not have sought out counseling before starting a relationship (emotional or otherwise) with you past love.
High school crushes are romantic but not logical that person you knew in high school is not the same person now. You did right to let go, now move on and try to repair your marriage if your husband is willing.
2006-11-28 06:03:28 · answer #5 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It still doesn't excuse the hurt you've put your husband through. I hope he's strong enough to divorce you and stay far away.
Whenever people start talking about their 1st true love from high school, I immediately roll my eyes. You were maybe 16 at that time and didn't have a clue what love even meant - so all the crap about first loves is ridiculous. You were just desperate for attention and you managed to get it - in the worst way possible.
2006-11-28 06:12:43 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I personally think what you did was not right no matter what you went through in life. There's no justifying wrong. You have a family so respect them. Make sure you make it up to your husband and be very patient with him healing. Your smart to let go. And when you say let go, mean it.
2006-11-28 06:36:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is common in a marriage to have classes the place you're extra distant than prevalent. no longer suited, yet common. you may no longer assume to spend an entire life with somebody and not have their thoughts, behavior, or emotions in no way substitute. It appears like he did get dangerously close to somebody. yet he stopped it previously it went too a techniques, even depended on you sufficient to enable you to already know approximately it. If there wasn't intercourse (oral/etc) then in my view he did no longer relatively cheat. It appears like he would have been having a complicated time, or maybe the two one in all you have been dealing with a coarse patch and he got here upon convenience in speaking to somebody who wasn't you. No, this wasn't good, regardless of the undeniable fact that it wasn't relatively incorrect, the two. that's a grey section, and it will probable harm to appreciate there have been emotions in touch, yet he of course loves you. i could get counseling in case you may, and in case you may no longer then spend assorted time speaking approximately what happened. attempt to artwork on it, in case you opt to work out it via. yet beware, if it occurs returned it is a purple flag.
2016-10-13 07:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Irregardless of alcohol or verbal abuse, that is your 'crutch' for being cruel and irresponsible with your husbands heart. Yes, when you talk to old crushes some feelings come back, but does not give you the right to toe the line behind your hubbies back. Everyone makes excuses, and there are those (myself included) that lived in an alcoholic home as well as lost 2 grandparents to alcoholic poisoning, but I have never in my 35 years ever cheated on a boyfriend, my ex husband or my current fiance. There's NO excuse for bad behaviour. I'm sorry, I feel no sympathy for those who give the rest of us bad names who grew up in homes just like yours.
2006-11-28 06:03:07 · answer #9 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
When my wife was having her affair, she also thought the kids knew nothing about it. My six year old was the one that came to me and said "Why can't mommy be happy with us and not the man on the phone?"
Kids are smarter than most people give them credit. They know and are learning from you.
2006-11-28 06:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋