Ok. well I'm still with the guy who cheated on me and things are and have been rocky...he told me if I ever cheated on him he would beat the crap out of me....he always grabs my arms and holds me down a couple of times he smacked me....playing around (I think)....I always have to tell him where I'm going and who I'm going with my friends are limited my phione always has to be on and no matter what time it is I have to pick up....Is he abusive??????I dont know help me
2006-11-28 05:41:21 · 17 answers · asked by doubleloops1988@sbcglobal.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
RUN!!!!!! a person like that has some issues that you cant help him with he has to figure it out on his own, with professional help. if he has cheated on you hurt you and stops you from talking on the phone those are some VERY SERIOUS red flags. you cant help him. these are things he learned very young and are deep seeded he needs help that you can offer.
2006-11-29 16:49:25 · answer #1 · answered by dmand1174 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! Definitely!! You really need to get out before it escalates. And I am afraid to say, it usually does. His (play) hitting you is his way of letting you know he is not afraid to "really" give it to you, when he feels you are out of line. Note the "he feels" you are out of line. He has some real control issues, his saying he would hurt you if you ever cheated on him, "cause he loves you so much", B.S., when for some reason he can not reach you, now he has it pre-set, he can hit you cause you must have been cheating or you would have answered the phone. Does he already tell you what you can and can not say to your friends. Is it an argument when you guys get home from an evening with friends and he starts the "What did you say this or that for" Does he call you stupid and belittle you? No one deserves to be treated this way. Would you even dream of treating your dog or cat that way? You have the right as a person to live, to seek friends and share your life and who you are with those who care about YOU! It will be hard, I strongly suggest having an evening arranged where you break up in a public place and then surround your self with people who can help protect you. He will not like that you are breaking it off. Be somewhere safe or have a safety net in place before you do this thing that has to be done. Keep this net in place for several weeks, he will brew on it. He may, and probably will follow/stalk you. Its all about intimidation and control. Try to think about truly, what good are you getting from this relationship anymore, is it happy? does it feel good or right? You deserve to be treated as an individual of value and worth, no matter what!
2006-11-28 14:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are different kinds of abuse but from what you are saying yes he is and you should get out.
The only reason he wants to know your every move is because he is guilty and he thinks you are doing it too.
You deserve so much better. Get out and get a life because there is someone out there that will treat you like you are suppose to be treated.
There are women shelters that help woman like you get away and start new lives. Get out now before you have kids. And if you do have kids, get them out to because they don't need to grow up in that. It's only going to get worse if you don't leave.
Good luck
2006-11-28 13:54:40 · answer #3 · answered by Stephie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the very least he is extremely controlling. If you can get out now then do it, My bf has got worse and worse over the years. We have been together for six years so at this point I love him so much I can't leave. If he threatened then he is abusive too. So he's abusive and controlling. Leave now or you are going to regret it.
2006-11-28 13:55:09 · answer #4 · answered by hot like me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES it is abusive get out now do make yourself deal with that crap out of and wannabe man a real man would not beat threaten or anything else like that you are worth more than that
2006-11-28 13:45:11 · answer #5 · answered by formerffagirl05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes get a new bf, my gf had a guy that was like that, he was arrested twice and beat up once by me before she was left alone. you should be able to know if he smacked you and was playing around, you shouldnt be able to say i think. he is being a controlling dick, I really freaking hate people like that. if you live in CO ill come beat him up for you. honestly get a new guy, just tell him that he is an abuse wanker and to get a life and hope he rots in hell. seriously I really worry about people like that because it will get worse i promise.
2006-11-28 13:46:24 · answer #6 · answered by go away 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, yes, he is definitely abusive, and in more ways than one. The physical abuse is bad enough, but he obviously doesn't respect you or your relationship, and my advice to you is to leave him. Seriously. I feel comfortable in telling you that because I was recently in a similar situation. Nothing good will come out of this, and the longer you stay in that relationship, the more "comfortable" he's going to be in his treatment of you, and it will get worse.
2006-11-28 13:48:12 · answer #7 · answered by The Voice of Reason Is Silenced 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer to this ?. Yes, he is and he sounds like a double standard control freak. You need to get help on your self-esteem issues and leave this butt alone. There are better men out there for you.
2006-11-28 13:44:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES. hes trying to control you and isolate you from people that are important to you. and hes hit you physically. and he threatens that he would BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU.
there is no question about him being abusive. GET OUT.
2006-11-28 13:43:42 · answer #9 · answered by christina rose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Get out of this relationship. Take whatever legal action is needed. If u live with him leave now and live with relatives or friends.
2006-11-28 14:19:26 · answer #10 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋