My lying 11 year old?

Question

My son is 11 and latley he lies to me about everything. Looks me dead in the eyes and lies. I have no trust because everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. I dont know what to do anymore, I have tried every punishment you can think of from taking away the video games to standing in the corner to spanking him... and he still lies. What should I do? Its a bad habbit he is getting himself in and its going to cause alot of problems as he gets older and Id like to nip it in the bud now but it seems impossible. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Well take items from them!! Get one of their toys that they like and break it mess it up right in front of them! then when they say why u do that lie to them. Then tell them u see how u felt when I stood right in your face and lied. You make me feel like this when u lie to me also!! Also make them write sentence yes it will get them. like 100 then every time they lie it increase by 100. Make it a lONg sentence like. I promised to be truthful at all times because if I continue to lie mom will punish me. Hm mm yes made my nephew and niece do this it broke them up from lying. Had to write up to 400 sentences can't play outside , no video games, no TV, no telephone until ALL sentences finished. People may say that this is cruel no it's not if u spank them then or it's child abuse. No I whoop they butt but u can't spank them for everything I do not believe in TIMEOUTS. lol that's crazy!!

Answer 2

Well take away his video games and don't let him have them back till he no longer lies. This may take as long as a week to a whole month. Give him a good spanking it it is appropriate. You can also try making him stand in the corner for a long periods of time. If he tells you like one lie, make him stand in the corner for a half hour, and if he lies to you again the same week, have him stand in the corner for an hour, and keep on adding more time the more he lies. You can also ask him why he is lying to you.

Answer 3

My brother had this EXACT SAME PROBLEM!!!! He started doing and we started punishing him. He wouldn't stop no matter what we did, so we finally gave up. Turns out, once we ignored him when he lied, he stopped lying. He did it for the attention. Even though it wasn't good attention, it was still attention. Try ignoring him completely when he lies. Like he's not even in the room. When he tells the truth. make a big deal over it. If that doesn't work after a month, take him to counseling. There might be some deeper issue to deal with.

Answer 4

I'm am going to offer a counter point of view. Lying is always driven by fear of punishment, disappointment, rejection, etc. When you catch someone lying and punish them for doing so, it tends to make the problem worse. Punishment increases their level of anxiety and fear, making the use of deception all the more likely. This is not a rational decision, rather it is driven by one's emotions. So, punishing your son or even talking to him is probably not going to solve the problem. In fact, when you punish someone for lying, typically the outcome is that people learn to lie more effectively. There are things you can do to get your son to be more honest - but it requires a lot of patience and work. Basically, you have to take steps to reduce his fear about telling the truth. It's more than I can outline here... but take a look if you like: http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/get_others_to_be_honest/public/overcoming_fear.html
And btw, no one looks away when lying - that's a myth...

Answer 5

I have a 12 year old daughter that started doing the same thing last year. She would lie about the stupidest stuff. Things that didn't even matter. It made me crazy. I tried talking to her, grounding her. taking her stuff away you name it. Nothing seemed to work. I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I finally found a young therapist locally and got her started in that. The therapist met with her 1-2 times a week. At first they just talked and sometimes they worked on self esteem workbooks. Also, she found books that were age appropriate about stories of young girls that were going through some of the same things that my daughter was feeling. I made a huge point to spend extra one on one time with my daugher just hanging out and talking-even when she didn't really want to talk. It was difficult at first for her to learn to talk to me. We started making shopping dates on Saturdays to hang out and have fun or take in a movie together. I made it a real point to be involved in her everyday life. To find out each and everyday what had happened at school. It turned out that there were a couple of girls at school that had been giving her a hard time the whole year and I didn't know anything about it. It also turned out that a teacher had been less than kind to her, and that she was afraid to tell anyone. So, even though I had always asked my kids how was school today, and got the standard fine, or same as always answer I had to learn to read them better and probe a little deeper and get to the heart of what was really going on. Because kids today are dealing with issues that we never dreamed about. These two girls in her class last year were sneaking out of there house at night, drinking, taking drugs, messing with high school boys, bullying other kids, and a whole slew of other things that I can't even mention on here. I am a really open minded mom and I had no idea. So look a little deeper. He may be dealing with things that you have no idea about, and he is afraid or just doesn't know how to even begin to talk about it.

Answer 6

My own personall opinion, of course...let him continue to lie, he'll soon realize that everything he says will not affect you. He'll get bored of liying and stop. Either that or he'll end up getting himself into such a mess of lies that he'll become too confused in his own lies that he'll probably stop knowing that it's caused such a headache for himself. Just think how much memorizing he'll have to do. Also, try turing it into a game. Sometimes, it helps to ask questions continuously. It's like being a detective.

Answer 7

My sister is like that now. She has been lying like that since she was about 8 and she is now 16. My dad sent her to therapy to find out if there is something deeper that is making her lie. They found out she has ADHD and they gave her medicine for that. She has since stopped lying as much. Sending your son to a therapist might help but there is no guaruntee. I hope something works because I know this is difficult to live with.

Answer 8

Reverse Psychology, lie to him as often as he lies to you, tell him things like, "I'm going to trade you in for a son that doesn't lie" and "You'll have to be sent to Military school with all the other little liars" and "From now on we're having rotten eggs and burnt toast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, because it's the only known cure for compulsive liars"

Answer 9

Wait for him to make a lie that you can pretend to believe. Then whatever the lie was about, blow it out of proportion.

For example: Say he blames his sister for breaking something he broke (it's just an example). Then (with the sister in on it), "punish" the sister very badly til' he feels guilty about lying all the time.

Answer 10

My son used to consistent lie approximately each and every thing too. We tried each and every thing and not something seems to artwork. We began to think of that we had did something incorrect as mum and dad. Then we began to seek for out area help from counselors and psychiatrists. that did no longer help lots. he's grown now and we on no account found out why he consistent advised lies. Even to on the present time he tells lies, yet no longer incredibly as many. We found out to grin and walk away. it may be one in all issues which you will on no account understand. this sort of habit impacts the completed family,no longer basically the prompt family . sturdy luck!