should I speak to my mother-in-law?

Question

she does not like me and she never care to speak to me, but my husband is in Iraq and his mom is close to him he want us to be connected but I dont want to

Answer 1

Angry, Crazy mother-in-laws are a force all their own in this world.. I would say no, wait til he gets back and show that you are making an effort by goin to see her when he does. Til then i say nothing good can come of it (steer clear)

Answer 2

You don't mention rather or not you're mother in law lives in the same area that you do, but regardless, due to the fact your husband is in Iraq you should at least try to talk with her. Of course that does not mean you and her will become the best of friends, but it will make you the "bigger" person. She needs to realize that many times when something happens over there the soldiers are only able to contact one person to say "I'm ok" and most times when that soldier is married his or her spouse is the one they call, then the spouse is given the responsibility of relaying the message to other family members and friends. If that were the case and she were not willing to speak to you, if I were you I would wonder why

Answer 3

If she doesn't want to talk to you, you can't force her too. Sure it would be really nice to have a mother-inlaw that is nice and caring, etc.

Mine has never called me (will only talk to hubby) in the 3 yrs that we were living out here, and during the whole time my hubby has been away (not in Iraq, stationed else where) even though I am expecting our 2nd child and I had alot of health problems in the beginning of the pregnancy. You would think that she might call to see how her first grandchild is doing since she hasn't seen him in over a year (she refuses to visit and will only see him if we visit, which I'm not driving/flying/taking a train by myself to see a selfcentered person whom won't even call or pick up the phone when I call/ return my phone calls.

Point is mother-inlaws can be complete B i t c h e s. Don't let her get to you. Just ignore her and focus on something better in your life.

Answer 4

HI!
It is very nice for you to think about this. YOU be the sstrong person and make contact. Remember without her there would not be him!!! There is nothing worse than problems with family. Her son/your husband is far away and if he see's that you are trying and doing everything possible he will know that if it does'nt work it is not your fault. Sometimes mother-in-laws think that the wives of the sons are not good enough, they are jealous. Let her see how you are and that you want to be a friend and see what happens. I wish you luck.

I have had 2 mother-in laws. 1 for 10 years and she never would budge and hated me, all of her daughter-in laws (4) Now my Mother-in-law is not mother-in-law. She is mama. She loves me like a daughter and respects me. It is wonderful.

Answer 5

It's in your best interst to try and open the lines of communication with your mother-in-law. Sometimes women get too jealous of each other , vying for the attention of the man (son). Egos should take a back seat and realize each of you really just want the same result. To be part of this persons life. Afterall, your mother-in-law can't provide the same love you can! Step back a little bit..it's not that hard to share and she may become a great friend. your both on the same side!!

Answer 6

I think you should no matter how much you don't like her. This is the person that gave birth to your husband, so if you don't like her you don't like your husband in a way. She probably just wants to know how her son is doing. My ex husband was in the first gulf war 15 years ago. I didn't care for his mother very well but I went ahead and sent them information that came to me from the unit that was in Saudi. When I was through with the papers, I sent them on to his mother and father, let them know that me and their grandkids were doing well. That made her happy. She even mentioned to him when he got back that I kept them well informed. I feel that a lot of those men have their life flash in front of them when they are around so much death. Do it for your husband, whom you love.

Answer 7

I can't imagine not getting along with my mother in-law. Try having a heart to heart with her. Look for things you might have in common with her and maybe go out to dinner, shopping, movies, etc. It would mean the world to your hubby if you made peace with her. I would try my best to show her that whatever negative thoughts she has in her mind about me are all wrong. If after trying your best she doesn't change with you, then at least you can say you tried your best and that's honestly all you can do. Good luck!

Answer 8

let me tell you something I have learned. My mother-n-law was suppose to pay my husbands car note. We would send her $150 every two weeks and she was to bring it to the guy. Well we kept getting harrased by the car dealer saying we need to pay our bills. I was so upset with the man I called the police and was going to go to court for harrasement. Well needless to say my mother-n-law always had a reasonable excuse to how the man had all our numbers and address when we never gave it to him. I called the insurance company chewing their *** out to find out the never gave out our info. Well one day I got so upset with the guy because he would call me at work and interupt me, I decided to call him and see what the hell was his problem. I asked him how he got our information. He stated my mothe-n-law gave it to him. Then I found out that she had only made two payments on the car between in the last 6 months. She would tell him that the money orders were lost in the mail. She would say that we never sent the money, etc. So I went to the bank to see if she got the money order we had sent, sure enough all of them were deposited into her account. So not only did she steal $1000-$1200 from us but also she gave him our information to make it look like she was innoscent. We ended up having to repo the car because of the whole situation. After talking to her about the whole thing all she could say is sorry. I was really upset because I am pregnant I could have used that money on my baby. I told her she had to pay us back, well she always said I out the money in the mail and to this day I have not seen our money see so say sent. Then ontop of that she tried being a smartass to in front of her husband and no knowing we had the car repoed she had the nevrve to tell his dad that we still owe oney for the car and we are late on our payments, therefore my husband's father wanted nothing to do with him.

I thought to my self I had the mother-n-law from hell, I hated her. But you know one day she called me and we spoke about everything. We made ends meet that day. I no longer hold a grudge against her, as hard as it was to let it go. But I understand she is my mother-n-law no matter the things she may have done. It is the past and I still must respect her. Sometimes you still have to bite your tongue and realize she is only human to and ya'll may not agree on somethings, but at the end of the day your still family.

Answer 9

Yes I think you should speak to her on a certain level. I was once in a marriage and did not get along with most of his family, but I just fed them with a long spoon,but for the sake of your man he is already in a stressful situation and the two of you not speaking is extra stress the both of you are important to him so just suck it all in and speak to her as long as she respects you then you do the same.

Answer 10

leave it at that. By being close to MIL you are only inviting trouble.you can tell your husband u will make an effort .Just dont do it.Hey i did it and i am regretting it . Only in my case it was SIL.now i have severed all ties with her and left to only hi bye.So now i conveniently tell my husband i will make an effort if she does.She doesnt as she is jealous and i wont as she is not .Works both ways.Best of luck.