I know sometimes it's done just because a woman is mad. Sometimes though it's like "My hubby is so lazy. He never takes out the trash. He doesn't appreciate me. We never go out anymore. I'm just going to withhold sex until he comes around." Does that really work? I'd imagine he would only dislike you more and want you less. Why not go the other direction with it? Say "Take out the garbarge, my beloved, and I shall do such and such." You fill in the blank. You'd be turning a lose/lose into win/win wouldn't you?
2006-11-28 04:27:55 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with you. My sisterinlaw withholds it all the time and all my brother does is kiss *** and still doesn't get it! after ten years hasn't learned!
Sex isn't a weapon. its meant to be enjoyed not used for torture!
2006-11-28 04:30:02 · answer #1 · answered by catdogpenny 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
The way I look at that is "Why cut off your nose despite your face". What I mean is, I love sex with my fiance and enjoy those intimate moments even when I'm furious, therefore if he doesn't do anything I want then rather than NOT have sex, which to me is stupid mindgames to begin with, I just tell him how his ignoring my requests made me feel and as a general rule this does the trick. No one can say it enough "COMMUNICATION" works and it makes the relationship work as well.
And when you withhold sex too many times, they will go looking elsewhere if they aren't getting it at home - that's been proven time and time again. Those that do withhold sex obviously doesn't enjoy to begin with or they wouldn't do this childish withholding of sex.
2006-11-28 04:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Between positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement I would choose positive because it is less harmful to the person. Look at children, would they learn better if you punish them when they get a wrong answer or praise them when they get a right answer.
Some people do this sort of thing without knowing they are doing it. For some reason conscious manipulation of another person is seen as wrong. However, I would like to state that conscious manipulation is no worse than subconscious manipulation. If communication has failed go with what works.
2006-11-28 04:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It causes resentment and a power struggle may ensue. Sex should NOT be used for power in a relationship...if it is, then those people aren't a good match and shouldn't be together anyway.
Any woman who tries to get her man to do what she wants by dangling sex like a carrot, or withholding when she doesn't get her way, should be dumped by said man.
2006-11-28 04:31:52 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Communication is the key to having a good relationship. If you can phrase things in ways that are not antagonstic, you will come out waya ahead.
I never use sex as a weapon. There isnt enough...
2006-11-28 04:39:00 · answer #5 · answered by cici 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have found that giving in more often is the best motivator. If I have sex with my husband, say, 3-4 times a week, I get spoiled completely rotten. He gives me massages. He helps out with the kids and the house more. He just comes up to me more often and gives me hugs and kisses. He buys me presents more often.
Not just that, he is stressed out less often, more relaxed. We both sleep better too.
2006-11-28 04:32:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't do that. I personally feel that is the way derail your marriage fast. I bet that's how a lot of failed marriages start off. If I were a man and my wife did that, I would hate and resent her and probably go find someone that actually "wanted me"(after getting divorced of course)
2006-11-28 04:36:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Been married for 23 years and have NEVER pulled this childish stunt on my husband. It's always better to just come out and say what is bothering you (plus you may have great make-up sex afterwards).
2006-11-28 04:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by bandit 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You put it very well, I think it is the worst thing a person could do! I have never withheld sex, from my partner. but of course some women do, but I do not think it works, something like this could backfire! and the way you said it, you gave them a good suggestion!
2006-11-28 04:34:35 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not married but I'd never with hold sex mainly because if you do that TOO many times he'll start straying #1REASON MEN CHEAT,THEY DON'T GET IT AT HOME!And besides angry sex is JUST as good if not better then jealous sex!
2006-11-28 04:32:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋