Even though I always felt like a woman, I was born as a guy. It's been 4 years I've been subjected to a surgery to change my sex. Ever since I decided to start my life over. I moved to another town where nobody knew me and I met an amazing guy. We're together for 3 years and we've jut got married. However, I keep that secret from him. I never had the courage enough to tell him the truth because I'm afraid of him to leave me if he ever finds out and I love him too much to risk losing him. But I'm afraid that sooner or later he's gonna find it out eventually. So I don't know what to do about it. He's starting to talk about having children and I'm afraid this might be the beginning of my problems to keep hiding the truth from him. What should I do actually?
2006-11-28 04:24:43 · 49 answers · asked by Myself 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should sit him down and be totally honest. He will be upest and angry that you kept this from him, but given time and space, hopefully he should be able to forgive you.
If it is true love, the past won't matter and he will love you for you - if he cannot accept this, it is better to find out sooner rather than later.
Like the saying goes, if you love someone set them free, if they come back - its true love, if they don't - it was never meant to be.
Your husband deserves to know the truth as it is something that will affect your future together, if you were unable to have children for another reason, you would tell him wouldn't you.
I know it is scary and upsetting for you, but remember - you love your husband, and if he loves you too, you will be able to work this out together. Give him the chance to understand. Good luck.
2006-11-28 04:27:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I truly believe you should tell your husband. As you stated, the truth will eventually come out. Whether it comes out in 10 years, one month, or 40 years,it will. Something this big should be discussed. But i do have some advice for you that might help make your decision easier. Find out casually how he feels about transexuals, watch a movie, or work it it in on a conversation"not meaning anything by it", see how he reacts, if he finds it repulsive or not. That will give you an idea if and when you should tell your husband! I wish you the best no matter what you decide, I'm sure that this isnt esy for you!
2006-11-28 04:35:40 · answer #2 · answered by none 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At first I felt bad for you. I was gonna tell you to be honest and tell him the truth. But now after reading your other questions I have decided that you are just a freak with too much time on their hands who likes to make up stuff for a reaction. My new suggestion is that you need counseling for yourself. Either there is something wrong with your head, or you are an adolescent boy. I'm not sure which.
2006-11-28 04:40:56 · answer #3 · answered by childofhistory1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man loves you and he is going to find out one day that he is living a lie. He is living a lie! If you love him as much as you say you do, be honest with him and tell him the truth. Soon. You wouldn't want him to continue on like this if you truly loved him. Think of his future! He wants kids. Who knows? Maybe after the initial shock wears off he'll realize why he told you he loved you in the first place. This will be an enormous thing to overcome. Relationships should be based on love and honesty, and I'm not being mean, but you haven't had the honesty from the start. If you love him you will not drag this out. I'm sorry for your situation.
2006-11-28 04:41:21 · answer #4 · answered by kissgirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you've left it a bit late. You should have told him before you married.. You did deceive him so don't expect a happy result.
You were afraid to tell him the truth, I can understand that, but sometimes you have to do what is right whatever the result. You were very selfish.
So, now he wants kids so he IS going to find out. Best sit him down, take a deep breath and tell him. Your relationship may survive. It may not. But it definitely won't if you don't tell him.
2006-11-28 04:28:45 · answer #5 · answered by grown-up 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your husband is straight you'd' had it the time he finds out. How did you get yourself into this?! he is expecting a child, he thinks he's living with a woman, as far as he is concerned you are probably not. You will start having problems once he's realised you are not getting pregnant, not to mention it will be cruel to him not to actually know the truth. I am sorry I dont' think you'll have him for live, Unless he loves you so much that you will work it out, after I imagine a long time of him not wanting to see you. After all at least you had him.
2006-11-28 04:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by shortnotsilly 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Its very difficult for you, but its important to have honesty in a relationship, ok you could tell him that you cant have children as many women cant, due to having hystorectomys etc. In a way it would be unfair on him not to know the real reason. The more dishonest you become, he more lies you have to tell to cover your tracks. The reason why you are a woman is because you are one inside and thats what matters. I hope you can work this out, good luck.xxx
2006-11-28 04:38:32 · answer #7 · answered by herbal ashtray 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Truth and honesty are the cornerstones of ANY relationship. Once compromised it will take a long time, if ever, to rebuild that trust.
I agree with many of the other Yahoos, this should have been discussed at an earlier time.
2006-11-28 04:37:41 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Versatile 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him the truth with a bullet proof vest on a safe distance away because he is probably going to try to kill you! you are so wrong you say you love him? the truth always comes out either you control the setting or live your life a lie that is going to fatally sneak up behind you any man (unless he is a tranny also) will be absolutly blown away by this you need to think of someone besides your selfish self!!!! ughhh
2006-11-28 04:38:02 · answer #9 · answered by norcalygaly 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To right he has the RIGHT to know and you young lady have a big big problem you need to get sorted real quick and i would say if he is a good guy i just hope he is big enough to forgive your deceit and if he does you should be grateful the rest of your life that you picked this guy
2006-11-28 04:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by srracvuee 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋