me and my ex have dated on and off for almost 7 years, recently after we had broke up again i found out i am pregnant and then after i told him he tells me that he has been seeing this other girl since before we broke up, so now even though i am pregnant he is still with her and he tells me that he wants to be there for me and i can ask him anything at anytime, but then when i do, he cant because of her, she gets mad. what should i do, i dont want to go through all this myself. i want him to be there and i know he wants to be there too, i know he is scared too, could that be most the problem or is it her?
2006-11-28 04:18:19 · 15 answers · asked by puppy love 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Rule # 1. If the relationship is off and on for 7 yrs. then you're waisting your time. Never move backwards; always move forward.
Rule # 2. She thinks that you're going to take him away from her because you're having his baby. Have a one on one/woman to woman talk with her without yelling! Let her know that it's his baby and you need the help. Make sure you let her know that it's over between you and your ex. No matter how crazy she acts and dramatic she gets don't let her think that she controls you and your emotions.
Rule # 3. Talk to him about the baby being his responsibility. He's probably a little scared, but I believe that his girlfriend is making him feel as if he should not have any part of the babies life. She feels like you are a threat to there relationship.
Also you can have a talk with both of them after wards sort of like an agreement.
Pray all is well with you and your new baby (congrats!).
2006-11-28 04:32:54 · answer #1 · answered by tonja20770 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just remind him that you're carrying YA'LL's baby, not hers. If she can't accept the fact that he wants to be there for his child, he should probably reconsider dating her. The child is obviously important to both parents, so it should be important to her too...if not, she shouldn't be part of the equation. You shouldn't have to go through any more stress than what your body will put you through over the next 9 months or so. The problem is definitely her, but he also needs to figure out who is priority in his life right now, the mother of his unborn child and her health for HIS baby, or this selfish girlfriend who could care less...she's just jealous, so if she can't accept the fact that he's GONNA be there for you, she needs to take a walk, a looooooong one!
2006-11-28 12:23:13 · answer #2 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say this. There is probably some pressure from his new girlfriend as well as himself. He should be feeling scared, arent you? You need to talk with both of them and explain, you know they are dating, and you respect that (even if you dont), and let her know, that you two created a child together, and that you BOTH are responsible for raising this child. She needs to understand that, he will be the father of your baby, and that has nothing to do with her. He also needs to know, that it is NONE of her business and the baby business should stay between you two. And if she cant trust him, maybe he should step back and look at the situation. Best of Luck with Everything!
2006-11-28 12:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by Ashley_Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is putting his new girl above the baby he is not worth it. You don't need him to take care of a baby. A real man would be there for his baby no matter what the new girlfriend thought about it and if she kept being a pain about it would kick her to the curb. Forget him and move on. You don't need a man to raise a baby and there are plenty of men who will except a baby as if it were his own. Live your life and forget him.
2006-11-28 12:26:31 · answer #4 · answered by Tia Dalma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you want this man in your life? if he cared and his new lady was the problem he would tell her straight.
from what you have said this man is a cheat and that wont change coz you have a child together.
get your head around the fact that you may be a single mum!! its not that bad trust me i have friends who are great mums of more than 1 child. what your baby is gonna need more than anything is a loving home and you can do it. this man doesn't deserve you or your baby hunni
2006-11-28 12:28:51 · answer #5 · answered by mum_2_many 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get
Get dna done to prove paternity, get court ordered child support, let him know you would like him to be a part of the child's life and then let him decide what he wants to do. However, don't try to regain a personal relationship with him (once a cheat always a cheat). This is between you and him, not his present girlfriend.
2006-11-28 12:25:59 · answer #6 · answered by MARY F S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a real support person - girlfriend - sister - mom.
you probally wont be finding a boyfriend while you are preganant and you dont need to either (too much drama)
Drop the idea of him a serious emotional support, he is obviouslly not a grown up yet. (and my never be)
2006-11-28 12:29:56 · answer #7 · answered by G's Random Thoughts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem is that you want a partner and he is not available.
he cannot be there for both of you.
one must have priority.
she is not the problem. the fact that you have a responsibility coming up (baby) and no plan for how to handle it is the problem.
2006-11-28 12:24:30 · answer #8 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you want him if he doesn't have the balls to leave her? And what would stop him from cheating on you later if he came to you now. Have the baby and take him to court for financial support of the baby.
2006-11-28 12:22:58 · answer #9 · answered by revmissus 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he needs to step up to the plate and take responsibility if not get a good lawyer to get child support from him
2006-11-28 12:20:24 · answer #10 · answered by rives 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋