We've tried to talk to her but, thinks we're telling her that she's a bad mother.
2006-11-28 04:13:42 · 17 answers · asked by care_bear1108 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Well, Im sure she baby's him a lot, probably the reason he is still sleeping in her bed. He is growing and up, and at especially 13, he is going through some weird changes that shouldn't be involving his mother. You need to tell her it's time he get some privacy so when he is older, he won't feel "molested". It is VERY wrong, and she should know that. Ask her to put herself in his shoes, because Im sure she didn't sleep in the same bed as her father or mother when she was 13.
2006-11-28 04:22:46 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley_Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be good to try to find out what her motivation is. It is quite possible it is not sexual, but is because she is an insecure person who is afraid of having to make other friends, and she is relying on her son to be her best friend or her social companion. If she is recently divorced or widowed or not in a healthy relationship with an adult, this might impact her relationship with her son and encourage her reliance on him to be the emotional partner she needs. It is important that parents and their adolescent children are friends, but for the right reasons, and via the right pathways.
The problem with a mother sleeping with her adolescent (son or daughter) is that it creates conflicting messages for the child. Even when there is nothing sexual occurring, it can feel like incest to the child. In the end, it will negatively affect the relationship, which is probably what the mother is trying to avoid.
If the mother in question likes to read, and is interested in creating and maintaining good and healthy relationship with her son (and ultimately with herself), I have some suggestions for some really excellent books on raising healthy adolescents (boys and girls). For boys: "Real Boys" by William Pollack and "Raising Cain" by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson. For girls: "Mother-Daughter Wisdom" by Christiane Northrup and "Reviving Ophelia" by Mary Pipher.
Reading about both boys and girls and their behaviors and relationships may help her to understand the people that will be in her son's life someday, and maybe explore a little about herself.
I hope this helps.
2006-11-28 04:32:04 · answer #2 · answered by MDG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An adolescent boy sleeping in the same bed with his mother may or man not be a problem.
If it is done because she wants him there (for whatever reason) it is bad, because if he feels any sexual stirring, he doesn't feel free to avoid the situation; and although nothing more may happen, the boy feels guilty or uncomfortable about it. This can affect his later sexual adjustment.
The mom may not be aware of this aspect of male sexuality.
On the other hand, a boy may occasionally be comforted by his mom's presence, and it would not be right to deny him this.
Then again, maybe it's not even your business.
2006-11-28 07:09:52 · answer #3 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a bad mother in the eyes of the law. Either let her continue doing this and ignore her or call the police and CPS. Better the child in a foster home than be screwed up for life because of this and this will screw the kid up later down the road if it hasn't already.
2006-11-28 05:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by baddrose268 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to social services.
...Why exactly would you do this?Nothing wrong with sleeping in the same bed as long as nothing else happens,it's like saying you cant sit on the same sofa or eat at the same table.Grow up and get over it big deal.Nothing wrong happening.
2006-11-28 04:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by howyaaa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not a bad mother, she's just over protective. Something is wrong with it though, because when he gets older he's not going to know how to take care of himself. He's also not going to be able to get over his fears. PUT HER ON THE DOCTOR PHIL SHOW!
2006-11-28 04:16:27 · answer #6 · answered by tonja20770 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel bad for both her and the child because this is an unhealthy situation for both of them but I wouldn't actually do anything. If you don't feel the child is being abused, or is in danger of being abused who are we to dictate how she should raise her son?
2006-11-28 04:18:34 · answer #7 · answered by kealey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so what is the problem with that? a 13 year old is still young. But if i was a mom, i would provide him his own room. :)
2006-11-28 04:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by Grasshopper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the mother hot looking?
2006-11-28 04:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What about talking to the child? Does he think this is right?
2006-11-28 04:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by Liss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋