my hubbie has left me and 2 kids a week ago,cant make any sence of it.?

Question

He told me hes been seeing someone else for 2 weeks(!)and hes happier than hes ever been and thinks its real thing.how can this be true after such a short time?we were together for 13 yrs,seems like my world has fallen apart

Answer 1

Sometimes it doesn't make any sense. He obviously was not happy, and he had a golden opportunity.

The odds are 50/50 he will come begging back within a month or two.

Either way, you need to tell him "see ya", and move on with your life.

Answer 2

Mid-life crisis. Men are very immature and never grow up. He is having the "I can't believe there isn't a Santa Clause" realization but the adult version. He will want to come back. The question is "Will you want him?" You don't have to decide that now.

Also, YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG> If you were shagging him every day in every way and keeping the house like the wife in Father Knows Best, it wouldn't matter. HE has an issue and a life crisis. Don't bring one on yourself.
Buy some Benedryl. Take one when the itching (mental or physical) starts. JUST ONE. Before you know it, you will have hours when you don't think about him.
Set him free. Don't call him. Let him call you about the kids. The relationship with the new woman will always be tainted with lies so believe me, that is no heaven for them. When he tries to come back, if you have a new life, new friends, you can call the shots in the "new marriage" Get a part-time job at a book store or men's clothing store. You will meet a lot of people. Use that money to pay a babysitter and nothing else. It will lead to a great life, whether he comes back or not. I presume that you love him or you would be dancing at his departure. Keep busy.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for you but the man is living life for the thrill of the moment and throwing caution and the thought of hurt to those he truly loves to the wind. He is displaying a personal failure. The trap that he thinks he's found himself in of a stable relationship with loving children is equal to the end of his youth and spontonaeity. Many people cannot bring themselves to break away when they feel like this and marriages stagnate and become lifeless. He is a selfish risktaker and when this person he's gone off with lets him down he will be straight back to you with cup in hand. Men do see the error of their ways but it can take time. If you love him then wait but at some point you will need to weigh things up and move on.
The main thing to understand is that in many cases there isn't any real reason other than the selfishness of the human gene. People as beings are apt to put themselves first inn this modern age despite the love they have for others. A whim becomes a very hurtful mindless mistake at great emotional cost. Be stong. See it from both perspectives as hard as it may be. And above all remember the good times. You must think of your childfren first and if this means letting him go in time then you will know you'll have made the right decision.
Good luck.

Answer 4

2 weeks? I was married 28 years without a problem with an additional person. My husband told me he was interested in someone else, so I left and now 3 years and a divorce later he tells me what a mistake he made. The thing is that I will always love him. Thank god he is a friend now and I prefer this.

My advice is to concentrate on you children and yourself. Don't give anyone the power to crush your world. Be true to yourself.

Life is as good as you make it and in your case you have 2 children to show how good life can be.

Good Luck

Answer 5

Awww! Im so sorry that your hubby did that too you.Men are so selfish sometimes.It's obvious you love him deeply and are very hurt by it.Im not going to tell you to get over it because I wouldnt even be able to do that.There is no reason that a man would cheat and leave you except for pure lust.Dont feel its anything you did.It probably had nothing to do with you or what you did in your marriage.Dont let him try and tell you that either.If he felt a certain way and didnt tell you so that you could try and work on it then thats his fault.I know first hand that love is a pain in the rear but we have to deal with whatever comes.Some situations we have no control over.I hope your broken heart mends and that your happier soon.Again, I am very sorry.

Answer 6

He will be back, with his tail between his legs babe!
You just need to workout what you are gonna do when he does, Do you want him back?
Can you forgive him for nobbing someone else?

There is no point asking yourself, "What did I do wrong" because you didn't do anything wrong.

Women cheat because they are being neglected in someway.
Men cheat because they can, it's easy for them if an old slapper has her legs a kimbo waiting for them. Thats why they cheat with ugly dogs, not coz they are somehow better than you but because they are easy and they can.

Be strong, don't run after him!
You won't need too coz he'll be back soon. He may think that his happy at the moment but he dosn't know her, it's certainly NOT the real thing!!

Keep strong and keep that smile on your face
If you want him back home then, when he sees you look your best, have a smile on your face, get out of the house, let him worry about where you are and who your with for a change. Don't sit at home moping, get out and have a few drinks and have one for me too.

Take care

x

Answer 7

I am so sorry to read this, I cant really begin to understand how you are feeling, and I guess that you really arent sure yourself right now. 13 years is a long time to be married, and i guess with that time it becomes all that you know (if you know what i mean). All i can say is that its better he told you than not, this way you are infromed and in control of what the outcome may be. There is life after marriage breakdown my close friend is living proof of it, time is a great healer, and though it may not feel like it now, things will get easier, how old are your children? I really hope that they are ok and come through it, if they are old enough and want to talk about it then the best thing to do is let them, rather than clam up. I really dont know what else to say, other than keep your chin up things will be ok

Answer 8

He's admitting to a three week affair? I don't think so............people have a tendency to play that sort of thing close to the chest until they are darned sure it won't 'queer the pitch' at home.
Understand how it feels for you but you need to start thinking about what you want, and what os best for your kids. To fight for him or wash your hands of him. Right now he's probably in clover and thinking he can play away but run back if it doesn't work out. So, you need to work out ................after the pain, what is it that you want. Whilst he's living away you have time to think about things and he may just find that when his lust is sated , normality kicks in and he's bored he may want to run back home as though nothing happened . You may have decided , if coming back is an option for you, on some ground rules..or even that you're better out of it.
From a personal viewpoint, my marriage went belly up after 15 years......it hurt, but I got over it and so will you if that's what you decide is best.
Wish you the best, whatever happens.

Answer 9

You 're better off without this guy, he would have been a bad influence on your kids anyway. Forget him and focus on bringing up your kids in the best way you can. Make sure you get legal advice on how much you can get from him. This guy leaving your like he did may seem bad now but with time I think you will be glad he left!
Good Luck

Answer 10

let him go
if he is that silly after 13 years why worry yourself about him.
dont take him back either it can not and will not ever be the same

get a group of your best freind together get glammed up go for a meal on to a show and enjoy yourself.
make sure you look the best you can everyday and dont let him know you are missing him at all. if he asks how you are say great soon you will belive it yourself.
make sure he knows that you are enjoying life without him and when his new model dumps him dont take him back let him then suffer like you are doing now

Answer 11

my now ex husband told me a week before Xmas that he was leaving me and our 2 kids for one of my so called friends, the relationship didn't last very long and he came back to me but things were never the same he had destroyed my trust and without trust it very hard to maintain a relationship.
We lurched along for a while neither of us wanting to admit that our relationship of nearly 20 yrs was over until he developed a crush on another of my friends again they both lied to me any denied that anything was going on till i caught them naked in my bedroom.
That was the wake up call i needed, i packed mine and the kids stuff and left the next morning.
to cut a very Long story short i never went back and 2 1/2 years later i have just married a fantastic guy who is everything my ex never was and i can honestly say i have no regrets!