Even though I always felt like a woman, I was born as a guy. It's been 4 years I've been subjected to a surgery to change my sex. Ever since I decided to start my life over. I moved to another town where nobody knew me and I met an amazing guy. We're together for 3 years and we've jut got married. However, I keep that secret from him. I never had the courage enough to tell him the truth because I'm afraid of him to leave me if he ever finds out and I love him too much to risk losing him. But I'm afraid that sooner or later he's gonna find it out eventually. So I don't know what to do about it. He's starting to talk about having children and I'm afraid this might be the beginning of my problems to keep hiding the truth from him. What should I do actually?
2006-11-28 03:51:27 · 27 answers · asked by Myself 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Jerry Springer moment
2006-11-28 03:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have a duty to let him know especially as he is talking kids,,he really should have had the choice before you and he got serious but as you know,,,the time is never right for such information,,the chances are he will feel much worse for knowing later rather than sooner but that doesnt necessarily mean he wont understand,,you are who you are and as long as he 'sees' you,you and he may have a shot but you must tell him,,it is a really poor start to an otherwise open and honest relationship and you are right,,,he WILL find out from somewhere and you will be mortified and he will undoubtedly feel humiliated and deceived by you which could be the reason he would then end it,,dont take chances,keep some form of control over this news and go for it,,better to lose now than later and in a much worse way for all concerned.i wish you luck.
2006-11-28 12:08:35 · answer #2 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, this is a tough one. It's wrong of you to hide it from him. Marriage is about trust and honesty. If you can't be truthful with one another, it will never work in the first place. Secondly, if you tell him and he leaves, he doesn't really love you enough anyway. It's better to tell him, then to let him find out some other way. If he finds out on his own, he'll feel even more betrayed that you did trust him enough to tell him. Also, if you tell him now and he leaves, it's better than waiting 5-6 years down the road and letting him find out, because then you've both wasted time that you could have been spending happily and honestly with some one else. I hope everything works out for you.
2006-11-28 11:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, of course he would have the right to know. I think you are either a fake or a flake. If this was true, then you've basically lied from the beginning by not sharing your truth. You might as well pack your bags and go, because when he finds out...and he will, it's going to be over. Not necessarily because you are a freak, but because you're a liar and a freak. You'll be lucky if he doesn't kill you then put the gun to his own head. Me: I'd cut yer nads off...oh, but that happened already.
2006-11-28 12:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by seattlego 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if your relation is built on true deep love and u two r happy together ,its not a good idea to tell him ,becoz there is a high risk of it all falling apart,but there is always the children issue ,so u have one of two options ,tell him and face consequences whatever ,or go along with what u have been and face him with the truth that u cannt have kids due to any other lie or medical condition,
2006-12-01 06:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by reifguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this were a true question, you should definitely tell. You should have told in the beginning. Withholding information is the same as lying.
However, according to the first response this may be a hoax.
2006-11-28 11:54:37 · answer #6 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
yes i believe he deserves to know the truth. i think he'll be angry and a little humiliated at first which is understandable but if he really loves you, i think you both will be able to find a way to get past this. i really think you should tell him asap, the longer you put it off , the harder it's going to be for you. i wish you the best of luck!
2006-11-28 13:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by albert 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to be honest.I think it is great that you are doing what is going to make you content and happy but at the same time honesty is always good congrats and hope everything works out for you.
2006-11-28 11:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by shanky36 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him - tell him now. You claim to love him and you probably do. But he has the right to know everything about the person he loves. You are right - he will find out eventually. Wouldn't you rather he hear it from you?
2006-11-28 11:53:58 · answer #9 · answered by Punkie'sDad 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, now he's probably going to be really pissed. But you need to tell him. He married you. How would you feel if he kept something important so long a secret?
2006-11-28 11:53:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋